Shadow

It's been two weeks. I kinda like it here. Mostly because of my colleagues. We get along fairly well and they're a fun, crazy bunch.

Work is pretty okay so far. All I'm doing in the office is exploring Facebook. Heheheh. Don't worry. That's actually part of my job.

Did I mention that Sheikh Muszaphar dropped by the office? Oh. My. God. He's hot. Me likey... :)

Fool For Love

I’ve started at this job for a week now. The first few days went on boringly because I have not gotten a PC yet. However, on Thursday, they gave me a temporary laptop. My job is Web Content Editor, and yet I am bound to the desk? What about the weekends? The website won’t get updated? Hmmm…

The other company has given me an official offer. I now know how much I would be making if I were to accept the job offer. I am feeling slightly confused. Do I go for the money or do I go for the career?

My friends have told me that a career is better than taking more money. I kinda agree but right now, those extra bucks would be a lot of help for me. Sigh. I just don’t know what to do. Okay, I guess I know what I should do but I am wondering whether I am doing the right thing or…

No Place Like Home

I have submitted my resignation. This Friday would be my last day at work. I'll start work at my new office on Monday. Yay. It's a web content editor position at a news agency. A step towards my goal in becoming a writer. Or at least it seems to be. I was all excited and stuff, well, except for the pay, kinda same with the one I am earning now.

Today, I got news that I am being offered a job by the other company I interviewed for. Remember? Told you guys I went on two interviews on my day off and then I went and had dinner with #1 Crush? Ooh. Awkward. Um, longer story there but now focused on work.

Anyways, I kinda told the news agency that I'm taking the job but I was told that the other company might be giving me a lot more money. Sigh. These things tend to happen to me. Either I am jobless or have many job offers. Nah, kidding. But I am confused now. Do I go for the money? Or do I schlepp it and follow my dreams?

On the one hand, I'd be getting back to my Corporate Comms roots, which also have some form of writing. Also, I'd be a lot closer to Subang, if you know what I mean. Hehehehe. Oh, oh, gotta focus. Extremely cute boss? That's a good thing right? Okay, okay, he also seems very cool and open and quite gay. :)

On the other hand, traveling by KTM Komuter is a hassle. The news agency thing is also something I am interested in. Kinda. Sigh. Have to think. By Thursday I gotta make up my mind. HELP!!!

Out of My Mind

Has anybody seen Beowulf? That has got to be the gayest movie I've seen since Alexander. The hero guy kept being naked. What's up with that? Yes, I went to see that with #1 Crush (and three other friends). It's not that big a deal. I saw Harry Potter with him (and four other friends). But this time, we got to sit next to each other. Not by my planning of course. Someone else was in charge of the tickets and handed me mine and #1 Crush his.

Prof Karen Walker kept asking me where my hands were, like I'd do anything underhanded. Dude, #1 Crush had been to my place and we had been in closer proximity than that. Alone even. Nothing happened. Contrary to popular belief, I am capable of restraint. Sigh.

Anyways, I am not going to talk about that night or the fact that #1 Crush is good at bowling (which is something I look for in a partner, sigh). I wanna talk about my job. New job. I've been offered a job at the news agency that I interviewed for. The money offered is still the same as my current pay but since it is a start in the right direction of the career that I envisioned having, I guess I am willing to take it like a man.

I have submitted my two weeks notice. As predicted, my boss has piled on work for me and expects miracles AKA me finishing em all of before I leave. Hopefully I can. I don't wanna cause trouble for my supervisor who helped hired me in the first place. She was the one who pushed me to go for this new job. She totally understood me. Even before I could fathom making any decision.

In December, I'll be a web editor and I'll be working in a new environment and with new colleagues. Oh good God, I think I might throw up a little bit. Ooh, that reminds me. I gotta get me a housemate. Anyone looking for a room to rent in Cheras? :)

The Replacement

The job interviews went quite well. The KL one was a bit off. Somehow I come across as being intimidated by the interviewer, even though this was my third time being interviewed by him.

The one in PJ was relatively better. The interviewer was kinda hot and he was kinda gay. I dunno whether the fact he was hot or he was gay or what, but I was slightly more comfortable in that interview. Or maybe because he was speaking English. Hmm...

The interview even went on for more than one hour. #1 Crush SMSed me, asking where I was. I did not realize that it was close to 6 already. The interviewer seemed reluctant to let me go though. Kept stalling. Ordinarily, I'd raise my eyebrow and be slightly curious but I was kinda late and the commuter train is not known for being on time so I was eager to leave.

I got to Subang Parade around 6.30. He looked so fine. Of course. We walked around a bit before heading to TGIF for dinner. We finally got a chance to eat our favorite food. Ribs. He wanted to order the JD glazed ribs at first but changed his mind and ordered the normal BBQ ribs. He also asked for a non-smoking table, even though he smokes.

Why? Apparently he was thinking of me. Isn't that sweet? Makes a boy fall in love. Wait. Already did. Fall even more. I don't smoke. I don't drink alcohol. If he took the JD-glazed one, I wouldn't be able to have some. He even rebuffed my claim that alcohol burns once cooked. He said some still lingers. So caring. Altogether now... awwwww....

After dinner, we headed out. He had a couple of errands to do before sending me home. We took the Federal Highway home. He popped in a CD which featured love songs and love songs only. Toni Braxton. Mariah Carey. BoyzIIMen. George Benson. O.M.G. I love Nothing's Gonna Change My Love For You. Always sing it at karaoke. He was singing along to some songs. I kinda joined but I kept my voice level under his because he sings like an angel and my singing voice is bad.

Unfortunately for me, there was a Siti Nurhaliza song in the CD and I completely forgotten my reservations and sang normally. I noticed #1 Crush not singing from time to time but I did not make anything of it until the song ended and he said that my singing voice is nice. What the... he was listening to me singing. Noooo!!! Oh, the horrors!! Wait, he said my singing voice is nice???

And why is he piling on the compliments? Dammit. My singing voice is not nice. I have been fortunate that he had been too busy to join me and my friends for karaoke. I am embarassed to unleash my singing voice in front of him. But apparently it's nice so I don't have to pray he'd be busy during karaoke sessions anymore. Just pray that he'd be busy during clubbing time. I ain't ready for him to see me dance. I am not good. Oooh, that reminds me. Last couple of weeks, I went clubbing with friends and so did he. He went looking for me on the dance floor. Lucky I had moved on and went upstairs. I don't think I could have danced if I knew he was around. Yes, yes, I am weird that way.

Where was I? Oh, yes, love songs. All the way to Cheras. Sigh. Then, he missed the exit near Midvalley. I told him so and he said he did not wanna pay the toll. I shrugged. He was taking the long way home. I get to spend more time with him. Wait. Is that his plan all along? Hmmm. Nah. I could not be that lucky. He probably did not know that route to my place. He knew that one way only. Still, I ain't complaining. More time with him is always good. Get to see him sing and be goofy. God, he is so adorable when he's goofy. Just wish I could reach across and pinch his cheek. The one on the face lar people. I am in love, not in lust.

Anywho, gotta stop gushing now. Remember, #1 Crush knows of this blog and will probably read this. Even though it's sweet of him to pretend he knows nothing of it when I deny I have a blog. :)

Real Me

My contract has just been renewed for the next three months. After that, I will be up for the permanent position of Technical Writer (coz my supervisor's quitting) but nothing is certain since the company's opening up the spot to the public. I figured my chances of getting that job is pretty slim so I am on the lookout for new jobs.

I guess the planet's lined up in my favor or something because I got two interviews set up. Via my friends. They heard about a job opening at their office and submitted my resume to them. I'll be attending the interviews tomorrow. One interview is in KL, nearer to my current office and the other one is in PJ (kinda near to #1 Crush).

I hope I get the one in KL because it is slightly easier for me to get to work. But the one in PJ would allow me to hang out with #1 Crush after work. Heheehe. I need to priotise my thingies right? #1 Crush is a priority to me too.

Anyways, I am seeing him tomorrow after my PJ interview. Am looking forward to that as well. We haven't seen each other for almost month. I miss him a lot. Hopefully nothing will come up and he had to cancel on me. Wish me luck! :)

Oh, and wish me luck for my job interviews too! Heheheh...

Buffy vs Dracula

I had something else all written up. I was gonna tell you guys about my weekend. Went clubbing at La Queen. Almost bumping into #1 Crush (and the boyfriend). Open houses. Cute hosts. Etc etc etc.

But now, there is bigger news. I gotta learn to keep my mouth shut. Or at least keep it shut about some stuff. #1 Crush has finally persuaded me to give him the address to this blog. Yup, the one where I detailed our ‘dates’ and my feelings towards him and not to mention everything else that was going on in my life.

Sigh. Like I could say ‘no’ to him for long. I’d go to the moon and back if he asked me to. Sigh. Again.

Anyways, I was writing up a post when he messaged me over YM, asking me why I was quiet. Nonchalantly, I told him I was writing up a post on my blog for the events that happened during the weekend. So he asked to read it. Again. Yup, I had mentioned my blog to him once and he asked for it but I refused back then.

Somehow or rather, my ability to say ‘no’ to him had gone down the drain and I gave in. But I made him swear that he’d remain a friend to me no matter what. Who knows? Some people don’t really wanna get close to someone, especially since they are taken and that someone is harboring an all-consuming love for them.

He read it… well, the index page anyways, and he said that it was fine. Touching. It’s normal. I am entitled to my own feelings and opinions. Guess his reaction was kinda expected. My friends are not subtle when hinting about my feelings for him and I am pretty sure (from our interactions and conversations) that he had known about the torch that I bear for him. Ooh, bursting into song moment.

*sings* The torch I bear is torching me… (guess correctly what song this is and I’ll buy dinner…)

But now he knows everything, from the ole canoodle to things in my heart to things my conscience is saying. Hopefully things would not change much between us. I so don’t wanna lose him. Oooh, maybe I should not have said that coz #1 Crush might be reading this. Why can’t I fall for a cute, romantic, nice, funny, matured, sexy voiced, independent AND single boy? Had to fall for the unavailable ones eh? Story of my life…

Restless

Yay! Two of my favorite TV shows are merging! Veronica Mars is making an appearance in Heroes! Okay, Kristen Bell is joining the cast of Heroes as a mysterious girl who may or may not have powers. I am told AKA spoiled that it's something kinda cool.

I am glad Veronica Mars would live on in Heroes after being canceled after 3 seasons. I love that show. It's like Buffy meets Nancy Drew meets CSI. Anybody else caught VM?

Primeval

It’s Thursday. One more day till Eid. One more day of boredom in the office. #1 Crush has gone back to his hometown. Since yesterday. I miss him a lot.

It’s even worse today coz all of my friends are no longer online. Most of them has left the city already. That’s right. I am staying in town. Not going back to celebrate with my family. Same shit. Issues with my mother.

This time, it’s even more dramatic. My mother won’t go through menopause alone so she dragged everybody into her drama. She said she was pissed off at everyone so she would be spending raya at her sister’s place in Pekan. My dad would be in Kuala Lipis, celebrating with his mother, with my brother and niece in tow.

My sister decided to celebrate in Kuantan, with the nephew. I refused to choose a side so I have decided to stick it out in KL and celebrate Raya alone.

Sigh. Now back to the issue with my mom. Nothing I do pleases her. Everything is wrong in her eyes. Worst of all, she keeps telling the whole wide world about it. About everything that she sees wrong with me. I just can’t take it anymore.

One day, I’ll just tell her off. But not anytime soon of course. I don’t want to be evil to my own mother. Hence the staying away part. I miss #1 Crush. I miss his humor, the chats that we have everyday over YM. Oopsy, got a bit sidetracked.

In other news, the receptionist at work AKA the Fag Hag, has told me her desire to marry me, even though she is fully aware that we both have one common denominator. The predilection for sucking cock. I am sure she’ll get over this idea after the holidays. But if she doesn’t, it’ll be good for me. She knows what she is getting into and she is not complaining. According to her, I am good to the ladies. Duh. I am one of the ladies.

But I guess this could solve my “When you getting married?” problem… she could keep doing whoever it is that she’s doing and I could continue to pine for #1 Crush… I mean, I could see anybody I want… can’t believe I might be actually getting married… I am going to be a beautiful bride…

Hmm, wonder who’s gonna be my bridesmaid… oooh, what will we name the kids... I’ve always like the name Lilly…

The Yoko Factor

A lot of things have happened between me and #1 Crush these past couple of weeks. I did not really have time to blog about em, mostly because I had been busy.

Not busy with work in the office. But busy with #1 Crush. He and I constantly communicate over YM during office hours. Guess I am lucky that I don’t really have any work to do coz we’d be going at it from morning until it’s time for him (or me) to leave the office.

Ever since our second date at that sushi place, #1 Crush and I had seen each other two more times. The first was at my place for a group buka puasa and the second was near his office for buka puasa.

I hosted a buka puasa gathering (which I do every year) and invited my closest friends. He came at about 2pm, which was way too early. He actually helped me prepare the dishes and kept me company. It was sweet of him to do so.

For the third date, I had to take the commuter train to go to his office area. It’s only fair. He traveled quite far to go to my office area for our second date. We had a seafood dinner and a secret recipe cheesecake dessert. Actually, the third date was supposed to be on the day before but he had to cancel at the last minute because something came up. Of course I was upset as hell but I got over it.

The replacement date was kinda short notice. He was supposed to stay in the office and work (and claim overtime) but he insisted that I come over that side of the world and break fast with him. He would then take me to his office and I’d wait until he’s done with work for him to send me home. I thought it was sweet and highly romantic. He’s involving me in his work life and he was willing to juggle me and work so that we could spend time together before the long Raya break.

Sigh. I think I am falling for him hard. What? I’ve fallen? Yup, I have. Dear God.

I really intended to take things slow with him, mostly he has a boyfriend and I don’t really know if he sees me the way I see him. Unfortunately, with our constant communication and our dates, it’s getting harder and harder to take things slow. Especially with him piling on the charms and the pick-up lines on me. Wait, why would he be piling on the charms and pick-up lines on me? Is he interested in me too? Argh. I need a drink. This is so confusing.

New Moon Rising

Amidst all these talk of crushes and dates and work and stuff, I finally realized that one significant date is just around the corner. The Ex’s birthday. Yup, I am going down memory lane.

My niece’s birthday falls in September also and I had planned to take her (and her brother and my sister) to Sunway Lagoon. So since The Ex’s birthday falls a week before hers, I thought I could take him with, thus introducing him to my family.

However, since it is Ramadan, that plan got scrapped and I’d take them out in October. Unfortunately, we broke up so all that plan went to the big hole in the sky.

Even though we had known each other for a short time and we were officially together for an even shorter time period, it felt like a lifetime.

Happy Birthday. May you mature as you age and may you be happy with whoever it is that you are with. Hope you find whatever it is that was lacking in me…

Where the Wild Things are

I have been pretty busy lately. With friends, with work, with guys, hehehehe. I had another post lined up after the previous post but it took me quite a while to finish writing it.

There had been so much happening between me and #1 Crush that I could not really pinpoint anything into a post.

Anyways, he suddenly grew a cold front on me. Starting Friday. Had to suffer to some serious silence that day. The weekend was also unbearable. He was even silent on Monday. Guess we were burning too brightly too soon too fast. Sigh.

Anyways, he was apparently avoiding me. But he was answering our group emails. My friends were teasing me mercilessly about my crush on him. Yes, it was written in the emails that were also sent to #1 Crush.

I assumed he was ticked off by the teasings. Or he could be skittish because he has a boyfriend and he did not need that kind of gossip milling about. So that was why I leapt to the conclusion that he was bothered by it and he was avoiding me.

I asked him why he was quiet. It took a while but he finally replied and he said that he had nothing to say to me. I guess I was right. My fairy tale had come to an end. Or so I think. I was upset. It did not help that my mom was making my life hell when I went back to my hometown during the weekend. Sigh.

I finally decided to ask him upfront. Was he really bothered by the teasing? He said he did not mind. He said he was simply busy. I did not believe him. It had to bother him to be teased for something like this. I am no prize, I know that. He, on the other hand, is a great catch. Sigh, yet again.

I decided to kinda leave him alone after that. And I so did not guilt trip him at all. However, the next day, he started messaging me like evevrything was fine and nothing had happened. In fact, he asked me out. Okay, technically he did not. We were talking about breaking fast. He wanted some sushi and I asked him whether he was he preferred Sushi King or Genki Sushi. He said he doesn't know but he goes to Genki more often. I said I haven't had Genki and he should take me there some time. He agreed. He said he was breaking fast with some friends that night (yesterday nite) so he wanted to take me out tonite!

Yes, that's right. I am seeing him for dinner tonight! Yay! Wish me luck! :)

Superstar

And now, for the bad stuff… see, I am of looking at things from every angle and not just from a peachy keen, lovey dovey manner…

Everything was perfect. He was nice, funny, romantic, cute, handsome, adorable and he even paid for dinner. Which was wrong coz technically I was supposed to pay. I am the older one and I was the one that asked him out, not the other way around. Me likey…

He has a boyfriend. I do seem to attract the ones with boyfriends huh? Sigh.

I had always knew he had one but I guess it never really registered until I was on the date with him. I had asked him to go to a somewhat closer place and he said that his boyfriend works there and he really did not want us to be bumping into him. Which was a little weird to me because if we were going out in the capacity of ‘friends’, the boyfriend would have known about it and would not have minded if we bumped into him.

Anyways, he insisted so we went elsewhere. Then, during the drive back to my place, his phone rang but he did not pick up. He said it was someone from another country who kept bugging him. Then his phone rang again, this time a different ring tone. He did not pick up or even bother checking the phone.

I asked him about it and he dismissed it entirely and just said that it was the boyfriend. Another weird. It seemed like we were on an actual date and that the boyfriend had no idea what was going on. I like the first part of that sentence but the second part just made me out to be some sort of man-stealing tramp.

Ordinarily I don’t mind that coz I have played with many, many ‘married’ guys but this is a legitimate crush and I did not meet him when I (or him) was cruising for some action.

But then again, he said yes to the date. It’s not like he was forced into it. Right? Right?

Does this mean that this was an actual date? Especially with that SMS at the end of the night? Only time will tell I guess. Don’t wanna put my hopes up but I was all smiles the next day. Sigh…

Who Are You

So the date went smoothly. Not stuttering or anything. There were definite signs that this was not just a one sided thing. But I refuse to be optimistic. I have been burned before, for playing with custom-made Navy matches. This time, it’s heavy duty firestarter. Any small spark could cause a ripple effect and everything would be engulfed in flames.

Anyways, here are the blow-by-blow (not literally) account of the date. I stayed an extra hour in the office because we were supposed to meet at 8. I left by 7 because the air conditioning had been turned off, if not I’d stay longer. I SMSed #1 Crush and told him I was on my way.

I arrived at 7.40pm. I waited 10 minutes before I message him. He called me just before 8, saying that he was parked on the other side of the road. Dear God, I had forgotten how sexy his deep manly voice was. Sigh. With bats in my stomach, I made my way across the street. Had a serious case of hyperventilation.

We went to a fast food chain for dinner. He wanted to order food but ran it by me to see if I wanted to share it with him. Either it was the sweetest thing or he just doesn’t eat that much or he is used to sharing his food with people. Hmmm… anyways, we ordered chicken wings (which he had indicated he wanted to have since the afternoon), soup of the day (which he also wanted and kinda talked me into it as well), the seafood platter (which I really wanted but he did not because he just had an allergic reaction to something the day before and he is still recovering but he wolfed down half the plate anyways) and we had a pitcher of Pepsi (I asked for pitcher, he asked for Pepsi even though he don’t really drink carbonated stuff coz it gives him the hiccups).

We talked about everything and anything. Childhood stuff. Growing up stuff. My time in America. His life before we met. Did I mention he is soooo cute and have the cheekbones so high it could touch the sky? Sigh…

Anyways, whilst we did all the talking and chatting, there was also flirtatious banter going back and forth. Definitely Sex & The City territory. I blushed many, many times. Not that he could see it coz I am dark-skinned but I was blushing like crazy.

After dinner, we were at a loss of what to do next. He did not want to send me off just yet. I did not wanna go home either. So we drove around for a while, just talking and singing along to his mixed CD of sappy love songs by male vocalists. Well, he was singing. I was recording him using my phone. Did I mention that he has a nice sexy deep manly voice? He could be reading the phone book and I’d be all horny… heheheh…

Then, Endless Love came on and we did a duet. I was Diana Ross of course. Somehow I always ended up singing the female bits whenever there’s a duet. Anyways, I normally don’t sing in front of strangers but I went ahead and sang with him. Showed how comfortable I was with him. Okay, so I wanna have his babies, what’s the big?

Once we were near my area, I asked if he wanted to hang out more. He declined, citing that he had to go pick up someone. He promised that we’d go out again. I asked him to turn on the lights in the car so that I could take his picture. Yup, I’d been trying to snap him but the highway was dark. After I got a nice clear pic, I asked him to lean up to me and snap a pic of us together. After a handshake, he drove off and I walked back to my flat thus ending one of the nicest date I’ve ever had in all my 21 years of living… okay, okay… 25… fine, 29… good God, a lady is never supposed to reveal her age. Lucky I ain’t a lady eh…

Oh, about an hour later, he called me. However, I was in the other room and my phone was on silent mode so I did not hear the call. Since I did not pick up, he sent me an SMS.

“R u asleep already? Don’t masturbate to those pix k? Hehe. Good nite and thanx for the lovely nite. Sorry we did not get to go anywhere. There wasn’t enough time. We’ll do this again ok?”

O. M. G. O. D.

I’d only bother sending a follow up SMS if I really like the guy. I hope he sent the message coz he likes me…

This Year's Girl

Yup, crush on #1 Crush not lessening, even after four days of not being in touch. When I say ‘in touch’, I mean chatting on YM or email. Yes, we haven’t formally exchanged numbers. I don’t want to rush into it. I wanna take it slow. He is actually taken AKA has a boyfriend. I don’t wanna wreck a disco (as opposed to a masjid for the normal straight Muslim couple) and I am not even sure if he feels anything for me.

Early Monday morning, as soon as I sat myself down at the office cubicle and turned on my YM, his message window immediately popped up, scaring the snot out of me. He said that I’d been so quiet lately and he asked me what was up.

The last we chatted was on Wednesday, last week. He had been asking to read my blog. Not this one. The other one. I had told him that I was revamping the blog and it would not be ready until later. He pouted and kept asking for it. I did not wanna reveal my sexploits that way to him. That’s what deathbeds are for! I wanna have something special with this one, even though that might not happen and toning down the crazy is the way to go.

Anyways, he asked me one final time before he abruptly logged off and went home. Did not like how that ended. What if that was the last time we’d ever spoken and we left it hanging like that? Not acceptable. He did not even chat with me on Thursday, even though I sent him a message. Sigh. I did not think he’d be this petulant. This is why I need to shy away from the younger ones. Lucky for me, my friends and I have a Merdeka BBQ that night so I took the afternoon off to go make food and prepare stuff. I was kinda busy and forced myself to be busy coz when I stopped for one second, my mind would wander back to #1 Crush and I’d remember the last thing we did – me denying his repeated requests for my blog, and him abruptly logging off – and I did not like it.

So when he messaged me Monday morning and said that, I did not really know what to think. I guess he was not really bothered by me not giving my blog and that he was not really petulant after all. He was probably just busy that day. Phew.

We were chatting up a storm on YM. I have nothing to do at work so I could chat my fingers off. He has work to do but he insisted that he could still chat. As long as he doesn’t get into trouble… so after a while of chatting, I asked him out. For dinner. I know, I know. He’s taken but we could just go out in the capacity of friends. Or not. Whichever one works.

He turned me down again. Yes, I’ve asked before. Persistent bugger, that is me. I know he had to go do something with his car Monday night so he could not have dinner with me. He said his Tuesday night was also full. I was beginning to sense a rejection coming so I stopped asking directly and went with another approach. I just asked him if he’d passed by Midvalley or Times Square during his commute. He said he did not and he did not like to go into KL to brave the traffic. He also mentioned that his nights were mostly spent with his straight friends.

Great. Another rejection. So I just told him to not mind me and just continue to chat about something else. But then, he said that he’s free Wednesday. The boyfriend’s working nights so he could go out and enjoy himself. Did he just ask me out on Wednesday? I think he did.

Before I squeal like a high school girl just asked to the prom, I asked him the venue. Stumper. We did not know how to meet up. Sigh. There goes the date. He then just volunteered to take the train to Times Square since everywhere else is a lot harder. I told him to not do that because it’s troublesome for him but he insisted. Made a girl feel special…

But then, I got a very good idea. I could take the train to where he’s staying and then he’d pick me up and we could go to a hypermarket nearby where there’d be restaurants. He concurred. But he said “OK lor…”

Dude, if you don’t want to, just say so. I maybe head over heels in love with you, I don’t need and/or want pity date. But he insisted that he wanted it. Really. Okay. Girl goes to prom scream time. *gurly shriek*

Someone finger me coz I think I am dreaming. No, not three fingers. One’s fine. Thank you. Dear God, is this really happening? I know I should take it easy and not overreact and really have to work on not thinking too much into it. But I can’t help it. If I were in his shoes, I’d never go out with me. At least not without a group setting. Definitely not one-on-one. Yup, I know he knows I fancy him. My friends were sooooo not subtle when they were teasing me about my crush, right in front of him and #1 Crush is definitely not dumb. Just young and full of cum… heheheh…

Cannot wait for Wednesday night. God, I hope I don’t stutter… Wish me luck!!

Goodbye Iowa

My crush on #1 Crush is not showing signs of lessening. It’s getting more intense by the minute. He is not making things easy for me (not on purpose, I don’t think). If I don’t email him in the morning, he’d email me first.

He had been asking for my YM. Apparently chatting is easier than emailing. I think emailing is the way to go so that it could be drawn out for a longer period of time. Hehehhehe…

Anyways, I added him to my YM the night before and I turned on my YM at work, after much encouragement by the receptionist. His ID says he was offline but less than a minute after I turned on my YM, he sent me a message. We’ve been chatting for the better part of the afternoon.

Have I mentioned that he is cute? Even when chatting and/or emailing? Sighh...

The I in Team

What a weekend. Hectic is an understatement. Lessee… went bowling Friday night. Karaoke on Saturday. Birthday party on Sunday + bowling. That doesn’t include the shopping in between activities (for our BBQ bash on the eve of Merdeka). Plus, there some guy actions. Yes, I am sporting two huge pimples on my face now. I am hoping they would be reduced to small mounds before Tuesday…

Anyways, remember the SA Guy (Crush#2) I was crushing on? He was the cute one that I had just seen once or twice but was immediately smitten? He was there at the birthday party and he and I spent some quality time together. Just chatting and talking and fooling around. Um, maybe not fooling around but joking around. Oh. My. God. He is sooooo… and now I am soooo… sigh…

Let’s put reverse on and wind back. I first met him online. He had a profile in Myspace. Or at least I think that was him. It was lust at first sight. Then I think I chatted with him once or twice in IRC. I met him in person last February at a friend’s birthday party. Kinda did not really notice him at first. Okay, so I noticed him but I did not realize that it was him (let’s call him #1 Crush from now on ala Garbage and Romeo&Juliet).

A few months later, that same friend asked for three tickets to Harry Potter. I originally thought he was taking his boyfriend and another friend but he ended bringing #1 Crush instead of the boyfriend. I was kinda psyched and kinda freaking out. This friend, HC, arrived at Starbucks, where Teddy (can’t call him Onemus anymore) and I were chilling, alone. We asked where the Significant Other is and he said SO is at campus. #1 Crush was joining us. What the… son of a… and I did not put make up on or anything…

I kept it cool but I was a nervous wreck and was shaking inside. I kinda avoided him and he was being a little bit quiet too so it worked out for the best.

After Harry Plopper, I did not meet him in person until last Sunday. But I did communicate with him via email. I suggested to the group that we should go away for the Merdeka holidays but it ended up scrapped for a BBQ bash instead. So we’ve been emailing each other a lot over the last month or so. I noticed that there is a familiar name amongst the list of recipients but I did nothing about it. Yet.

After the email discussions, came the email forwards. One day, I received an email forward from #1 Crush. At least I think it was him. So I replied, but in regards to said forward, not because of anything else. He replied and thus began our email communication. He said that he was kinda quiet on Harry Potter night because he did not really know us and he said that he’d be a whole different man once I got to know him.

Which is true because he was very different at the party. Very nice. Very funny. Very cute. Very adorable. I am drooling. I know. I can’t help it.

There’s this running gag amongst my friends about me and the kitchen. If there were events, I’d always be in the kitchen. I was in the kitchen yesterday and so was #1 Crush. I had been asked to cut the cake and distribute it to the guests. He was helping me with the softest cake on Earth. At one point, he was tasting a piece and I asked him for a taste as well. He fed it to me, mostly coz my hands were full. I was kinda hesitant and took like a tiny bite but he held it for me to take it all so I got it all in my mouth and my lips brushed against his fingers. OMG! We just went to… what base is that? I don’t care. In some cultures, we are married already!

Of course, Teddy happened to go into the kitchen and saw it and said inappropriate, not subtle things and I am sure that #1 Crush knows that I am into him. All of my friends did what Teddy did actually. Going around trying to let him know, unsubtly, that I like him. It was kinda embarrassing. Especially since #1 Crush has a boyfriend! And I don’t even know if he is even into me or not.

Ooooh, did I mention that he asked me to go swimming with him? There’s a pool at our friend’s place and he wanted to go swimming. I said I could not and he offered to teach me. It’s funny coz I was flirting with him a bit during this email phase and I told him that he’d need to do CPR on me if I drown and he said I could easily float and he could hang on to me for dear life. I told him I oughta hang on to him since he could swim and he said we’d both fall to the bottom of the pool and there’d be no one to do CPR.

I told him that I’d do a Jack and let Rose, I mean, #1 Crush float up and be alive. I know, I know. Corny. Sigh…

When I asked if he brought swimwear that day, he said he left it at home so he was going to have to go swimming naked and said that I needed to be there. Oh God. Excuse me. Toilet. Now.

He actually went with this other guy and he went up to me and invited me to join. Unfortunately, it would be suspect that I would go along, in my shirt and jeans to the pool. So I stayed. Plus I actually came with someone else (at the last minute) so I could not really leave him to the wolves, I mean, bears.

When he returned from swimming, he asked me why I did not join. I thought he was just kidding about it but he was not apparently. He wanted me there. And he was washing a very tiny dark blue speedo when he said that. Damn my date and my principals!

Oh, oh, during the karaoke sessions, both of us were standing at the side near the kitchen and I told him to go sing and he said his voice was girly and not nice. He sang along to one song and I became putty. Dude’s got a sexy singing voice. Okay, so anything he does is gold to me. Sue me. But seriously, I do tend to do this to myself right? Fall for unavailable men and break my own heart in the end.

I could not even sleep last night, thinking of #1 Crush, even though there was someone else in the bed with me. Oops, did I say that out loud? Heheheheh.

A New Man

I have this condition. I don’t really know the scientific term for it. I’ve noticed it for a while now. At first I was scared, I was petrified. I kept thinking I could not show my face when I am afflicted with it. But now I’m used to it and I don’t really freak out as much.

Every time I have sex, my face breaks out. Not too much though. Just one or two. But they’re huge and normally on the chin, near the mouth. Yup, that’s right. Fuck acne is what Onemus said, ever so bluntly. I say they’re sex pimples. Sounds much better and more innocent right?

Now I don’t even have to tell them that I had sex. They’d look at my face and would know I’ve had sex by that huge ass pimple on my face.

I just don’t understand it. What’s the correlation between having sex and pimples? Maybe my hormones went into overdrive as soon as I am horny and sexed up and that unleashes a chain reaction and the pimple hormones get triggered and would show up in the morning? Damn.

It never fails to show up. But I have noticed varying degree in sizes and intensity of the pimple. If I have very little interaction with the guy AKA immediately plugging his butt, then the pimple would not be as huge. If I have a full on session AKA kiss, lick, suck and fuck, then it would be as huge as Mount Kinabalu.

But then again, sometimes, it doesn’t happen that way. I just had a massive full on session and only the smallest citizen of Pimpledom came out to greet the world. Is there a way to stop me from breaking out every time I have sex? Not that I have sex that often… and there is a big one on my face now…

Doomed

My friends think I am engaged in a war of words with this one new guy that’s been hanging out with us a lot. Apparently, according to them, we would kiss and make up soon.

I don’t know how this all started. I was pretty much minding my own business and not really getting in his face. As far ranking go, I am very low in the group’s dynamics. Pretty much like the last group I was with but at least this time I don’t have to pay a monthly subscription and we’re all really are friends because we want to be friends, not just friends through association. Oooh, I am so getting into trouble for saying that… but it’s the truth…

Anyways, yeah, I am just a lowly guy who no one ever notices. Seriously. Walking with Prof Karen Walker and Onemus is like self confidence suicide. What am I talking about? It is confidence suicide. Both are pretty, nice, intelligent creatures that would charm the pants off of anyone. Then there’s the other one, the more senior guy amongst us. He is constantly surrounded by them cute boys. Another confidence killer.

Actually, I find hanging with these guys is just nice. Everybody’s fawning over them and forgetting about lil ol’ me, which is good coz I am kinda shy.

Anywho, so this newbie would not, should not even notice me. Unfortunately, not only has he noticed me, he has also started this war of words with me. Not really in person but via the daily communiqué that the lot of us engage in. In one particular email, he said something very hurtful. If coming from the others, then it might not have stung as much coz I know them and they know me and we always jest about such things. But this guy? Barely know him and yet he’s already in the game, saying mean things to me.

The Prof seems to think that I project a happy-go-fucky, I mean, lucky attitude and the new guy must’ve thought that I could take it. Hey, I’ve taken it like a man! I’ve taken it from my mom! From the Prof! From Onemus! And of course from some guys, ehhehehe.

In person, he turns slightly meek and not really into warring. I noticed him staring at me once in a great while during bowling but that only meant that he was trying to see how I throw and would attempt to copy.

And he said the weirdest things to me. One time, he asked me if I had a PSP on me, and if I do have one, he’d be my boyfriend right there and then. Another time, he asked loudly, and in front of everyone, the reason why I am still car-less and still renting and not owning my own place. Then he’d try to engage me in a knowledge duel about medieval weaponry. Just coz I said I liked medieval weaponry.

Then there’s one time, he told me to knock off the American accent. He also asked me if I was blonde. I think Stevie Wonder would have known that I have natural black hair and I did not attempt to gain artificial intelligence by dyeing my blonde hair black.

Why is it that he is doing all of this? Trying to knock me down, in front of everybody. The Prof also seems to think that the newbie is kinda into me and I am into him. Um, not with that kind of attitude, that’s for sure. Methinks he is too hung up on security and too materialistic and he is not ashamed in showing that off.

There was this one email he sent out about his ‘The One’ and Onemus mentioned that he was describing me and he responded by saying “I think he is the farthest from being my ‘The One’. Okay, so that was not verbatim, but that was the gist. So I guess the Prof is not exactly correct in his presumption. Sigh.

I know he’s not going to go away anytime soon. So I just have to grin and bear it and hoped that he’ll get bored taunting me. Or I could just escalate the war and fight back. See how he likes it when this gurl starts slinging barbs. Oh wait, I’ve already begun. Hehehehe.

The pen is mightier than the sword people say. Wait, the penis mightier than the sword? Really? :P

Hush

Crush. An intense yet short lived infatuation. These past couple of months, I have been crushing quite a lot. Does this mean I am easy? Or am I just slutty?

Crush #1 – Chinese Guy from Maluri with a sexy voice.
I chatted with him early this year but we only got to meet up in June. He invited me to a ‘party’, ehehehe. From the MMS that he sent, he seemed like a kid but he was the same age as me. 21. Add 8 more years. Sigh.

And he kept insisting on meeting my other chub friends. So it was a turn off early on. However, since he was the one organizing the party, I decided to join. Man, I wished I would have joined earlier. Hehehe.

He is tall. Me likey. Not too quick on the uptake though but maybe he’s just not used to American humor. Not many people are. But he has a boyfriend. Or he’s divorcing one boyfriend and wants to shack up with another. So I just get to play during that tiny window of singledom. Sigh.

Crush #2 – Cute Malay Guy from Shah Alam
I have chatted with him before and I was on his Myspace, before I deleted that profile. Now, he’s disappeared from Myspace. Dammit. But I got to meet him when my friends and I went to watch Harry Plopper and the Order of the Jean Grey.

He was extremely cute, quiet, unassuming and did I mention extremely cute? I knew who he was immediately. But I was kinda shy so I just kept it to myself. Teddy, who apparently was not crushing on anyone, totally engaged me in a conversational duel, right in front of him. I was kinda embarrassed but I sucked it up and acted normally.

Did I mention he is extremely cute? A bit shorter than me though. It’s okay, I’ll just bend my knees if I wanna kiss him… oh, oops, my bad… fantasy stuff in my head…

However, I got a little break and a little luck later on because my friends and I are planning something for the Merdeka weekend and his email was included in the discussion. Slightly later on, I got a bunch of forwards from my friends and I got one from him. Or so I thought it was him. I asked, he confirmed and we’ve been emailing each other back and forth. *gurly shrieks*

Unfortunately, he is in a loving relationship… so I just get to crush on him and just ogle. Sigh. The boyfriend is such a lucky bitch.

Crush #3 – The Malay Guy from Tun Razak
The one that came over on Monday. The one from Guys4Men. He is as tall as me. Nice. Cute. Knows how to please a man. Hehehehe.

I guess the reason I got crushed was because he stuck around afterwards. He knows songs that I know. Yup, he checked out my iTunes and remembers the old songs from my childhood. He smelled nice. Sigh.

Not to mention Cute Cashier Guy and the tall dude from my office… sigh…

Something Blue

Lunch time is quite the big deal around here, especially since we have to wait until 1.30 before we get to eat. There are plenty of choices around here but after a while, they would all taste the same anyway.

I’ve even made some lunch for myself, just to shake things up. So far, I’ve managed to cook up some pasta with tomato-based sauce and chicken soup with potatoes and white rice. I am trying to expand my repertoire pretty soon.

But there is one restaurant that seems to be the receptionist’s favorite. I don’t really mind going there. The food is not bad but sometimes it takes 45 minutes for a simple kuey tiaw soup to arrive. The waiters made it nicer to be there though. One cute guy looked exactly like one cute Malay actor but he’s hardly around anymore.

The crème de la crème has got to be the cashier. I think he’s new. Not so sure. Have not seen him before until a couple of months ago. Very cute, very adorale. I mean, adorable. I just wanna bite his cheeks. The ones on his face. When I say face, I mean his face. And when I say face, I don’t mean his ass. He sits behind the cashier counter all day long! How could I get a glimpse of his ass??

Anyways, we had been flimiling (flirting and smiling) with each other for a while now but I have no idea what to call him. So one day, I got the receptionist to ask for his name and he replied. I thought he was kidding. His name is the same as the Malay singer that won AF and is now called SMS King. I did not believe and asked for ID. He showed it to me but I did not really get a good look.

The receptionist was shocked that the boy was willingly showing me his ID. I mean, come on dude, it’s not like he dropped trou and whipped it out for me to see. It’s just ID. So after that, we would just have this fleeting mini flimiling moments at the cash register where I’d take the chance to touch his hand when I take change and he would always smile at that.

Today, after a long absence, we went back to that restaurant. He was there, as per usual, being all cute and dark. Oh, did I mention that he has the nicest, deepest, most romantic eyes? Sigh. Hang on. Drool’s all over the keyboard. *wipes*

When we went to pay, the receptionist talked to him. I did not really get the gist of what they were talking about but suddenly he exclaimed that he thinks I am handsome. Out of the blue. Of course I blushed crimson. *gurly shriek!*

The receptionist gave me a disbelieving look. The cute guy just stood there smiling. I paid up and flashed him my most dazzling smile and then left. The receptionist pestered me, kept asking me what was going on, whether cute cashier guy has turned to the fag side. I can’t really say now can I? She insisted that he is a fag coz he proclaimed loudly that I was handsome. No one’s ever called me handsome. *swoons*

Update: The receptionist went downstairs at 5 to buy some bread for dinner and she stopped by the restaurant and actually told him that I said hi. He blushed crimson! According to her that is. But I did make her swear that she was telling the truth or her boyfriend’s penis would remain flaccid for eternity. She swore. Guess it’s true. Yay!

Update #2: We went for lunch at the restaurant today and yes, the cute guy smiled at me enthusiastically. This time, the receptionist asked for his number and said that I was asking for his number. He asked why at first but then he gave it to her to give me.

Pangs

Fable Frog tagged me. Yay! I hardly ever get tagged. I see Onemus and Prof Karen Walker snickering… tagged as in Blog Memes okay? Not the other kind. Get your minds out of the gutter. And they say I am highly sexual. Sigh.

The rules of this tag:
1. Link to your tagger and post these rules.

2. List eight (8) random facts about yourself.

3. Tag eight people at the end of your post and list their names (linking to them).

4. Let them know they’ve been tagged by leaving them a comment on their blogs.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Random Fact #1
My mother is a distant relative to the Sultan of Pahang, so that means I do have a fraction of royalty in my blood. Not that it really matters though…

Random Fact #2
I lost my virginity at the ripe old age of 21

Random Fact #3
The most expensive thing I own is Harry, my laptop, and he is now in ICU. *sobs*

Random Fact #4
I was cast in an indie movie that my friend was working on but I had to go back to Malaysia for the summer so I had to pass. I could have been the next Halle Berry or Nicole Kidman. Dayymmn.

Random Fact #5
My highest score for bowling was 202. Second highest was 201. I got those in 2001. I’ve never scratched past the 200 mark since. The closest I got was 180+.

Random Fact #5
I used to wet my bed until I was 10

Random Fact #6
The longest relationship I had lasted for slightly over a year

Random Fact #7
I’ve dated (as in going out with, not ONS) with Malaysians (Malays, Chinese, Indians), Caucasians (American, German, Swedish, Kosovo) and Latino.

Random Fact #8
I am using Nokia 7610, the same one I had since 2004, which is also my first ever firsthand cell phone.

Okay, so that’s that. Now I have to pass on the curse, I mean, the meme to 8 other bloggers. Hmmm, I don’t think I know of other bloggers who read my blog, other than Vivik, Floggie and Paul. But I am sure someone has already tagged them. Maybe Onemus or Musang… ooh, let's get Holden to do it...

The Initiative

On Sunday, I went to the PC Fair with Prof Karen Walker at KL Convention Center. There were literally thousands of people. Plenty of eye candy for the Prof and me to ogle at. And plenty of opportunities for copping a feel. What? They came and rested their ass on my palm! What was I supposed to do? Push them away? No way! It was so round and smooth and fluffy and tight… um, lost my train of thought…

Oh, yeah. PC Fair. The Prof bought an all-in-one printer for 199 and I applied for Maxis Broadband. It cost me 100 bucks to register, activate and get the modem. Okay, it cost the Prof 100 bucks but I’ll pay him back. He is not my sugar daddy. The sugar daddy role belongs to me remember. Sigh.

Anyways, they said I could use it as soon as I got home that night. However, my laptop, Harry, is violently ill. He could not even start up anymore. So I gotta wait until I take the office laptop home. Also, they warned me that I might not be able to enjoy the Internet that well because I live on the 15th floor. Might not even get to use it.

I took a chance. Yesterday, I brought the laptop home and it worked! Teddy AKA Onemus Prime, proclaimed that there was nothing stopping me now from going totally slutty. I told him that’s not the case. I wanted Internet connection at home so that I can check my messages more frequently. And maybe do some downloading. I wonder if I could download porn, I mean, TV show episodes. Hmm…

Anyways, after 10 minutes of being online, I got a buzz from Guys4Men. From a guy who lived in Bandar Tun Razak, which was near my place. After a few messages back and forth, he said he wanted to come over. It was already 11.30. I thought he was kidding. He showed up at my place and we hung out until 1.30 in the morning. Yes, we just hung out. Nothing happened.

Okay, I am so lying through my teeth. Of course something happened. But I never would have known that anything were to happen because his profile was vague and he had never mentioned that he likes his men meaty. Or chubby. So I thought he just wanted to chat or something. Naïve me. As soon as he arrived, he lied down on the couch and positioned me between his legs. With his crotch just inches away from my face, I mean, hands.

I was still the naïve, virginal blond so I just let it be and continued talking. That is until he took my hand and forcefully placing it on his crotch. And the rest, as they say, is history.

So Onemus was right. I will be getting sluttier and sluttier by the minute. Dammit. But I think that was just beginner’s luck. I am sure it’ll die down by tonight and I’ll go back to being alone and pining for someone for company.

Wild At Heart

I am spending the night at one guy’s place on Friday. He sent me a message via Bearforest in April. We’ve been keeping in touch ever since. No, we haven’t met yet because he is too busy, working in sales so he works nearly 7 days a week.

Then he met with an accident and broke his hand. So our meeting got pushed back. Finally, I suggested we meet and spend the night at either my place or his place and get this dating ship moving. He agreed and we’ve set the date for Friday. Originally, it was supposed to be on Sunday but his company suddenly told him he could take Friday off.

We’d been planning for a Sunday meet so now our plan is whacked. He has dentist appointment Monday early morning so we decided to meet Friday, after I finished work. We’re gonna have dinner and maybe watch a movie or something, then go to his place. He works in Brickfields so he can swing by KL Sentral and drops me off in the morning. Yup, he works on weekends.

He is kinda cute. Tall. Older than me. Matured. However, he just got his heart broken by someone and that raises an alarm for me. My track record has not been that good and I keep attracting these kinds of people. I would always end up getting hurt and they would go off without a scratch. Sigh.

I really don’t wanna go into this with my defensive shields up but I guess I don’t really have a choice. I too have my battle scars. Ooh, I just downloaded this one song from Geri Halliwell called Love Never Loved Me. Telling my life story. I won’t give up on love. What doesn’t kill me, makes me stronger. Oh, I think I hear my heart pounding from the anticipation…

Beer Bad

My sister sent me an SMS. She said that my mom’s been nagging. What else is new right? Well, this time, she is nagging to my sister about us. Me and my sister.

That’s new. Normally, she’d take a shot at either one of us. She seemed to have a nagging suspicion that my sister’s been bringing people home. When I say people, I mean guys. Oh, maybe I should explain. My parents and brother lives at the restaurant while my sis stays at the house. Sometimes them kids stay at the house, sometimes they stay at the restaurant.

So my mom thinks that my sister’s been bringing home some guy when the kids are sleeping at the restaurant. It’s true by the way. My sis used to bring her then boyfriend over all the time. Ooh, maybe I should explain also. My sis is getting a divorce from her good for nothing husband and apparently dating a guy for a while.

Then my mom went on a rant about me. That she’s also worried about me. She seems to think that I am also bringing people home. When I say bringing people home, I mean, she thinks I am fucking people. When I say people, I don’t mean guys, but she might be on to me. However, being in denial land is far better, so I am gonna say that she thinks I am bringing girls home. Especially since I am living alone.

Did I tell you about the Langkawi incident? My mom called me while I was vacationing there and asked if I was there for some gay orgy that was happening at one of the smaller islands. Ever since that incident, which was Chinese New Year 2006, my relationship with her had been strained and she goes into this criticizing mode where everything I do, from my life decisions to my hair, is wrong in her eyes.

I guess deep down, mothers have a sense of what’s going on inside their children’s head coz we did stay in them for 9 months. There’s a connection. Just like Margaret Cho’s mom knowing about her sexual ambiguity early on. Hehehhe.

Anyways, my brother is not getting any flack from her. He actually brought his Filipino girlfriend to see her and then went to a hotel and stayed in the same room. Obviously doing the do. But she so did not care. I came up with a theory and my sister kinda agreed. My mother cannot stand being out of the loop. She has this pressing need to know everything.

So if we loop her in to our sordid lives, maybe she’d let up. Coz my brother sinned to her face and she just made with the not knowing. So I guess I should start to introduce to her my friends and stash of men. Maybe bring home one to Kuantan and shag him rotten right in front of her. Maybe then she’ll leave me alone.

Or she could just reach for her wand and kill us both with an Unforgivable Curse. Sigh. I cannot win.

Fear Itself

My family was in town last weekend for a catering gig. And as per usual, my niece and nephew were jumping up and down in anticipation of my arrival. However, it was in Bangi so I could only go there on Saturday. They’d been here since Thursday.

As per usual, I really could not be in the same room with my mom for that long, in case she decides to lift her wand and send the Avada Kedarva curse my way or something. However, I could not really leave because it was raining cats and dogs so I had to stay. Luckily, she was too tired out from pulling an all-nighter to cook the beef that she fell asleep. Everybody did, leaving me and the kids.

Thank God I brought the new Buffy book, Portal Through Time. It tells the story of a powerful vampire magi that decided to go back in time and kill Buffy so that she could not stop the Master from rising (in the Season 1 finale). However, he found that killing Buffy before she was became the Slayer did not help since the alternative reality Slayer slew the Master still. So he went back again and killed her as a child. Still things did not change.

He then decided to go back in time further and disrupt the natural order of Slayer activation by killing past Slayers before their actual deaths, as recorded in history. The plan was to activate different Slayers at different times so that Buffy would be activated at a different time and or not activated at all. Buffy got wind of the plan and went back in time to stop the assassination attempts on past Slayers and she met with some of her kindred in arms. Fascinating stuff, especially for a Slayer freak like me. Not the thrash band, but the one girl in all the world chosen to fight the forces of darkness. I even have a website detailing Slayers, past, present and future. Yup, I need to get a life but there’s something about Slayers… wish I was a Slayer. Would the Powers that Be consider making someone who’s half a girl a Slayer? Hmmm…

I digress. Finally, at 6, the rain stopped and I managed to clamber out of there. But not without the kids and my sister in tow. I did not know this but later on, I found out that I made my mom cry. My sister told me. She was hurt that I did not invite her to my pad but I was bringing the kids and my sister. I did feel a pang of guilt but with her ultraviolent streak of harsh criticism and the fact that I had a week of fun, fun, fun and did not have the time to straighten up the place yet made me not feel that bad.

I brought my sister to my place so that she could straighten it out and made it nicer than what I had done. I really had no idea that my mom would wanna see my pad. Guess she’s curious. It was lucky that I did not ask her to come with because when my sister was tidying up, she found a used condom in the ashtray. I was out with my friend bowling and she SMSed me. I think I know who left the damned condom there and if I ever see him again, I’ll give him a spanking he won’t forget. Wait, what if he likes it? Then it’s not actually punishment…

Anyways, now my place is far better organized and neater. Dunno how long it will last though. I have been known to get extremely lazy when it comes to tidying up. My sister was right. I have far too many things in the house for someone who’s living alone. Before anyone brand me as an opportunist and was just using my sister for her Majlis Bandaraya skills, my sister swiped two of my IKEA long glasses, half of my DVD collection and even some of my containers. I hate being the fashionable sibling…

The Harsh Light of Day

My Office Crush (MOC) has abandoned me. He has stopped the flirting. I don’t get it. We have not done anything yet, just looking at each other with longing. Sigh.

The fag hag receptionist seems to think that MOC is an olskool chaser. He likes his guys meaty. He likes big butt and he cannot lie.

Not that I am super skinny but since I am on this health kick and been eating less rice and cutting down on sugar, I started getting a little leaner and my jelly belly’s reduced in size. My female colleagues all noticed the slight difference and I guess MOC also noticed and he’s not even giving me his trademark side glances.

What’s a gurl to do? Do I eat normally again and gain back my chubby figure? Or just let it be and let him go…?

Edit:

I have not been watching what I eat and have been eating rice normally for the past few days. The fag hag receptionist told me it’s a good thing so that MOC would flirt again. It turns out to be true. He’s back to giving me sly side glances and sexy smiles… So I should pig out now? What a pickle…

Living Conditions

My fag hag is being weird lately. She is getting married soon so she got herself a couple of bank loans. However, her wedding date kept on being pushed back that in the end, her parents are finally offering to pay for the wedding. She’s a happy girl. She gets to get married and she has money in the bank.

So she starts to live larger than life and is spending like crazy. Good for her right? But the thing that I don’t get is why is she trying to drag me into her crazy lifestyle. Okay, so I used to make quite a lot of money. I am not anymore. Starting over sucks! Anyway, she just assumed that I would totally jump on her bandwagon and do everything her way, which is always expensive.

I told her that I might go for holiday with my friends during Merdeka weekend so I don’t think I should go for a weekend vacation. Oh, she asked me if I wanted to go to PD with her for the weekend. It would be around 200 bucks. I told her I’d need to save that for the Merdeka weekend trip and she dismissed that with a “Yeah, right.”

Money has gone to her head. I have seen her bank account. It’s quite a huge amount. And she’s only paying like 200 bucks a month or something. So she doesn’t quite feel the sting of it. Sigh. If only I have money like some people, then I could just go vacationing whenever, wherever I like…

The Freshman

I love the Order of the Phoenix! I so did not like Hermoine and Ron relegated to supporting but with more focused given to Ginny Weasley, Neville Longbottom and Luna Lovegood, it was kinda worth it.

The fourth quarter of the movie was brilliant. The magical duels were exciting and thrilling, even though someone (who shall not be named… big gasp, could it be Voldy himself?) said that fighting using wands are wussy. A Big Bad with no nose is wussy. Ya want a real man’s action movie? Use light sabers. Wear leather and masks and capes. Speak like James Earl Jones. Yeah, whatever…

Anyways, Ginny Weasley is turning out to be quite the witch and Neville Longbottom is quite a surprisingly adept wizard. Luna Lovegood is cute and whimsical. I did not like Cho Chang though. Hmm…

Anyways, the weather is kinda drabby these days. I found myself kinda sick again. My nose is running. I better go catch it unless I wanna end up a wuss with no nose like Voldemort.

My current crush on that someone is put on the backburner for the moment. I am reassessing my feelings and the situation. Ooh, new crush! Yesterday, we saw Harry Porter and one of my friends brought the cutest guy. But I think he has a boyfriend. Dammit. Why am I always too late? Or always getting the seriously needy ones? Or psychotic ones? Sigh…

In other news, The Ex and I rarely communicate these days. He would only contact me if he’s in trouble or if he needs something from me. Guess our friendship was never that strong after all. Sigh. Maybe it’s better this way…

Graduation Day, Part 2

So many summer movies, so little time. I have caught Spiderman 3 (wasn’t feeling it), Shrek the Third (so not funny), Ocean’s Thirteen (snazzy!), Surf’s Up (okay la, not bad), Transformers (AWESOME!!!) and Die Hard 4.0 (good movie). Now it’s time for the latest Harry Potter.

Yup, The Order of the Phoenix is upon us. And then, a week later, The Deathly Hallows will be released. I have gotten wind of some spoilers online. Major characters are destined to die. I hope it’s not true. It would be a kick ass scene but I hope it’s not true. I hope those are soilers instead of actual spoilers.

Teddy was at Times Square earlier today and he managed to secure tickets for the lot of us. I asked for two tickets. I wanted to bring a guy whom I am crushing on at the moment. Yes, yes, I have a crush on someone.

I asked him if he would wanna go see. He said he wanna, but dunno whether he could actually make it. He is resting at home today because he has food poisoning and he won’t know whether he would recover in time. But since he said he wanted to, I went ahead and asked Teddy to get the extra ticket.

However, a couple of hours later, he messaged, saying that he definitely could not make it. Sigh. Now I have an extra ticket. So I messaged almost everybody I know but all of them could not make it. Either the showing is too late (9.30 is late?) or they have somewhere else better to be.
Anybody game to watch Harry Potter this Wednesday (11th) at Times Square? Give me a holler k?

Graduation Day Part 1

Work sucks. I can’t go to the toilet for five minutes without my boss checking up on me. Sigh. My current project is a bit complicated and I am kinda stumped. It so doesn’t help that the headache that I have been having came back and brought some friends along with. Even my eyeballs are hurting. Sigh.

I have made a new fag hag at the office. The office receptionist. She knows I am crushing on this one tall cute Chinese guy and she keeps updating me on his movements. She’ll call me if he comes in, goes to smoke or toilet. Hehehe. Not that I asked her to, mind you. She seems to think that we both would make a good couple.

I’ve noticed that he had been checking me out. At first, the receptionist was kinda skeptical. Eh, why is everyone skeptical about me being checked out? Am I that fugly? Anyways, I decided to let her see it with her own eyeballs. I hung out at the reception area and voila, Tall Cute Chi Guy came by and went smoking. When he returned, he checked me out. The receptionist saw it too. Ever since that day, she’s been pushing him on me.

Have you ever get the feeling that you’ve met someone before but you really can’t place where you’ve met him? And you know you’d remember him because he’s so cute and hot and tall? I’ve been feeling that way ever since I first met the guy. I think we were lovers in our previous lives. I know I’d remember meeting him or if I did him already. He has this look on him, like he knows me from somewhere and wanted to talk to me about it but he never does. Playing hard to get, is what the receptionist says. Sigh.

The Prom

Last night, I went and caught Transformers on IMAX at Times Square with several of my friends, including Teddy. We were all so sexcited. Okay, Teddy and I were so sexcited, mostly because we both are Transformers fans. Teddy even gasped loudly when the producing studios insignias started showing.

One word. Awesome. That was what Transformers was. Simply awesome. Steven Spielberg and Michael Bay really delivered on their promise. This movie is by far the best movie out this summer.

I am a child of the 80’s and Transformers is a staple of my TV diet, along with Thundercats (Mr. Spielberg, this would make a cool movie or trilogy…), Silverhawks, GI Joe, Visionaries etc. I am a big fan of Transformers. When I first heard it was being made, I thought to myself that it could be kinda bad. But when I heard Spielberg and Bay’s name attached to the movie, I got all sexcited.

The movie satisfied the die-hard fans but did not alienate other moviegoers. Shia Labeouf is definitely all grown up now, a far cry from his Even Stevens days. He has a lot of movies coming out this summer like Surf’s Up and Disturbia. Josh Duhamel was kinda hot too. Did anybody see his naked picture? *drools*

I loved the movie. But of course, nothing is perfect. Some things were bothering me and it was not the people talking in the cinema. Actually, there wasn’t much talking at all. The movie was that engaging.

I’m talking about that robotic sound they make when they transform. It was totally missing from the movie. Okay, the sound came out once. When a Decepticon was transforming but that was it. I want that sound. Also, Starscream suddenly turned manly and butch. WTF? He is so gay and whiny and I think he’s kinda lesbianic too.

The robots looked damn ugly and robotic, especially the Decepticons, but I guess that’s a good thing. However, I had a little trouble distinguishing which one is which during the battle scenes. Speaking of battle scenes, what is up with the blurry fight scene? It was like watching a jumble of colors and then a robot got thrown down. That is so not right. How come Hollywood really cannot capture a fight scene quite as nicely as the Chinese? Watch all those Kung Fu movies. The fight scenes were fast and furious but we could still see the movements. Also, the movie is called Transformers. But the focus was not on them, but mostly on the humans.

I am not complaining. Much. The movie still rocked! People actually applauded once it was over. We’re watching it again on Saturday. Teddy’s idea. I guess this time we could really watch the details. And complain again how they did not really stick to the originals. Hehehehe.

Choices

It's no secret that I have been actively dating ever since I became single again. No sitting at home licking wounds for this girl. Some people think that the failed relationship did not mean anything to me and that I was not really in love because I showed no sorrow or mourning of any kind.

I did mourn. I shed tears. I pick myself up and I move on. No use crying over spilled milk, especially since I don't drink milk. My throat can't handle the natural flavor of milk.

Like I've mentioned before, some of the guys that I've dated are too quick to give it up to me. Err, I mean their hearts. Too quick to fall for me. Others are too immature for my liking. Too clingy. Too childish. Too freaky. Too weird. Sigh.

Here is the latest guy I could lump into that group. He is 22, lives with his parents in Kedah and also works for them. He is the type who needs an SMS to be answered right away, if not he would think either you’re angry with him or he’d done something wrong. Constantly wants MMSes of you face and body. Argh.

He is coming to KL this week, to send mommy to KLIA. Wants to stay over for a few days. Unfortunately, he wants to stay during the week and I am working. He said he did not mind staying at home while I go off to work. Um, I don’t think so. I told him he could go explore KL and then meet back up for dinner. He pouted, saying that he might not stay in KL then, going straight home.

I don’t care. I am not going to let a perfect stranger stay at my place while I am not there. God knows what could happen. I could come home to an empty flat. No way man. He said that I am evil for thinking that he is not trustworthy. I told him that he would not really understand unless he has lived in KL and has seen his fair share of crimes and whatnot. My iPod was stolen from my room, even when I was there, for crying out loud! I might as well just not lock my place every time I go off to work.

He got upset and stop SMSing me. Good riddance. File under ‘Thank God!’

Earshot

I was so lonely on the eve of my birthday. It was a Friday night and I knew Teddy had his badminton game and Prof Karen Walker was in prison, err I mean, he was outstationed somewhere. Lucky for me a friend came by and accompanied me until the clock struck midnight.
Yup, I am now officially 29 years old. No need to lie. Mostly because I look young. Which is something I’ve come to not like. I used to love it when people thought I was just a kid. My colleagues were shocked when I let them know that I was one year shy from the big 3-0. They actually thought I was in my early 20s. No wonder The Ex dumped me. He preferred his boyfriend to be old and wrinkly. Okay, maybe not wrinkly per se but definitely old and matured.
I had planned a birthday dinner at my newly redecorated place at the last minute. I actually just wanted to spend time with someone special on my birthday and on Sunday, go to brunch at Shangri-la Hotel with my closest friends. However, this one guy I invited to spend time with me wanted to join in on the brunch thingy and expected me to pay for it. Um, I don’t think so. Bloody sexpensive those brunches I tell you.

So I decided to hold the dinner thingy instead (but still go to brunch with my closest friends) because it would be cheaper and I get to invite more people too. However, I did not plan on me getting sick and not being able to cook. Lucky for me I had already ordered some food so I just make a few easy side dishes.

Last year, when I was a high society gurl, I had to invite a lot of people. This year, I am more low-profile so it was just a small intimate gathering. Good thing too. My flat is small. I invited 15. 8 showed up. Just nice. And no, I did not invite The Ex. He’s in Lumut and I know for a fact that he won’t come to KL just for my birthday. I had asked him whether he’d fancy going to Genting with me last month (a couple of weeks after we broke up) and he told me he doesn’t fancy coming to KL to see me and he just wants to do the Lone Ranger gig for a while. *shrugs*

Madam Cloud, my new BFF (that’s Best Friends Forever for those not in the know), came early to help me set up everything. Thank Goddess for him. If not I’d pass out already. Side story – Madam Cloud and I went to watch Sumolah with a group of other bloggers and one girl asked Madam Cloud whether he and I were BFFs. Madam Cloud blanched and almost fainted. How did the girl know about our flames of faggotry? I noticed Madam Cloud went stiff so I tapped him on the shoulder and whispered that BFF is actually Best Friends Forever, not Boyfriends Forever. Funny moment. Hehehehe.

Anyways, when we were shopping and preparing and stuff, we did not get a chance to get cake, mostly because the cake at the local supermarket was expensive and did not look enticing enough.

Best thing about birthday parties is the presents. Heheheh. Madam Cloud gave me a Mr Bean teddy bear. No, not the Bean himself but the teddy that he carries around on the show. Another friend gave me a Pooh lamp. While I may look young, I think I have outgrown the whole Poohbear thingy, ehhehehe. But then again, it’s the thoughts that counts right?

Note to self: remind friends that they could just get Borders gift certificates for next year. Book freak here.

Enemies

I was with someone on Wednesday. He came to my place at around 1.15 am. He works and lives in Shah Alam but for some reason, he was in Cheras that night. I was up watching That’s So Raven, so I told him he could come over if he wanted to.

Not exactly a mistake but I kinda regretted telling him that. Not because he was evil or obnoxious but because he was kinda clingy. I did not really get to sleep much because I was very uncomfortable. We slept in our boxers so naturally, after a while in a non-air-conditioned room, we’d get sticky and sweaty.

His body was hot too. Not hot like droolworthy hawt but hot as in you can fry an egg on the stomach ala Madonna. I kept tossing and turning in my half-asleep state, trying to get him to quit cuddling but he kept reaching for me with all available limbs.

I have a queen size bed. I was perched on the edge of the right side and he still clambered on to me. There was a sea of free bed space on the left and he still needed to engulf me in his Human-Torchness. Now, if it were Johnny Storm, then I would not mind. Who am I kidding? I would so mind. I don’t mind cuddling after sex or before going to bed or before falling asleep but after a while, I need my space.

I need to be able to turn to whatever position I want. I don’t like feeling sticky and sweaty in my sleep. Most importantly, I hate feeling the heat. That was why I was so at home in the snow back in the day.

Hmm, guess now I know why I prefer to live alone. I need my space to be my space. I don’t mind sharing it with a mate but I gotta have room to breathe. Other guys have spent the night at my place obviously but none had acted quite like this. Oh, and he kept kissing me. If my back was to him, he’d kiss my neck. I like to kiss my guys on the forehead, as a sign of affection or as goodbye or good night or something but this guy takes the cake. He kissed me every 10 seconds. If I turn to face him, he’d kiss my eyelids. Oh, did I forget to mention that he is short? I stand head and shoulder over him.

Also, sometime around 5, I’d wake up to me being up and his hands all over me. Dude… wtf? I need my cutie sleep coz I have to work in the morning. But he kept at it so I turn him around and went at it for the second time. However, fucking half asleep is not really a good thing and I stopped after half an hour, without climaxing. I think he also could not take it anymore, judging from his writhing underneath me.

Even after that, he was still all kissy kissy and touchy feely. I groaned, or attempted to groan in my half-asleep state, and pushed his hands away but he was adamant. I think he wanted a key to my magical kingdom. I ain’t giving. It was 5.30 in the morning. I had hardly slept and I had to wake up to go to work in a couple of hours. Control yourself dammit. He won’t quit so I had to tell him off, that I was tired, half asleep and that I need to sleep in order to go to work when the sun comes up. We can resume the horizontal tango the next time he comes a callin’. He finally agreed to back off and just cuddled, which further irritated me. Sigh.

If I wake up with bags under my eye, then I am so gonna kick his ass. Lady Luck must have been on his side because I was not too bad and he did give good service. Hehehe.

Doppelgangland

My weekend in hometown with the family was not too bad. Mostly because I was kinda busy with the kids and my mother was kinda busy with some catering thingy and also preparing for the nephew’s party. I got my nephew the Omnitrix, the thingymagic from Ben 10. He loved it.

Meanwhile, I took the kids to the mall and we caught Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer. It was not bad and not disappointing like Shrek 3 or Waris Jari Hantu. If there is a third movie, I’ll be looking forward to it. Then I took them to the arcade to play some racing games while I shoot up some baddies.

After that, I went to Secret Recipe and bought a Chocolate Banana cake with a Batman motif on top for a birthday cake. Damn expensive too. The motif was like more than 10 bucks. But I am a good aunt so I just bought it. Okay, okay, I swiped it. Heheheh.

My parents have invited the whole neighborhood to the shindig. We barbecued fish, chicken, beef and lamb and my mom made fried rice and there was also some fruit salad. This was a last minute decision on their part to make the big party, mostly because of the return of the prodigal son, which is me, and the return of my brother after a month and a half vacationing in the Philippines.

It was quite grand. A lot of people showed up. Of course, I only know of them. It was not my party. I gotta say that my brother’s friends are cute. Some are downright hot. Damn. Anyways, the actual birthday was Sunday but I was leaving Sunday so they made it Saturday. By the stroke of midnight, we brought out the expensive cake for the nephew to cut. Unfortunately, the birthday boy fell asleep already so we had to wait until the morning.

I stayed up, as per usual, and played some DotA with my brother and his friends and then we played Uno and Gin Rummy. Apparently, some people thought I cannot play Gin Rummy and underestimated me. Especially since I lost most of the warm-up rounds and I had the most cards at the end of the first official round. That was the only time I played shuffler. I never had to do it throughout the game. And I emerged the eventual winner. My brother’s hot friend, who was the original one to think I could not play, conceded and praised me for being such a good player. I could have licked him there and then but there were people around so I reined in my libido and smiled.
The next afternoon, I was packing and my nephew said he wanted to come with me to KL. I told him that he needed to go to school and stuff so he could not but he could visit me on the weekends or something. After we cut the cake and took pictures, my father sent me to the bus station. The nephew was crying and did not want to shake my hand. What can I do? I work in KL. Breaks my heart though. Sigh.

Consequences

It’s been a pretty hectic week. Not at work though. I was with someone fuckingly annoying and disturbingly creepy during the weekend. On Monday, my brother and his girlfriend arrived from the Philippines. I had to play hostess and offered up my place for them to stay.

The annoying cousin found out about my brother being here and went into a frenzy. He really wanted to hang out with my brother. Apparently for online gaming. He had been asking me to go online with him but I rarely had the time, what with the online personals and the dates that I had been having.

I told my brother not to let him know that I had been living alone coz he might wanna come live with me and then I’d be forever paying for everything while he would just be mooching off of me.

Last night, we were all online and were busily defending our territory from the invading Insane-level Scourge. Ooh, speaking of last night, as I was very caught up in the battle as the Slayer, I got annoying messages from this one guy who had declared to my ex-housemate and I that he is in love with me. This prompted my ex-housemate to ask me what I had done to the guy. I did not do anything. Much. Heheheh.

I really don’t like it when people start to declare their love for me at the very beginning, before I had even begun to feel anything. Apparently, I like the drama and fighting hard to get my man and being rejected in the end. Any guy would kill his chances with me if he immediately says they love me. If they were nonchalant and treat me like crap, then I’d moon over them. According to Prof Karen Walker anyway…

The girlfriend has left for Ireland already but my brother is still here. We are going back to my hometown tonight. Yup, I am finally going back. My nephew’s birthday is on Sunday. He was supposed to be born on my birthday but I guess he could not wait or my sister could not keep her legs together any longer so he was born a week earlier. Now that would be neat, sharing birth dates.

Bad Girls

This is a short post/rambling. I really don't like moochers. Especially the ones who don't at all keep in touch and be constantly silent until one day, magically reappear as though nothing had happened.

I know a few people like that. My cousins, sadly. They almost always know when I have money. But when I was unemployed, they went under the radar. So far down that you can't even locate them using the standard locator spell.

Like today for example. My cousin SMSed and asked to borrow money. When I was not working and trying to make ends meet, I asked for his help. He could not help. But now, he wants me to help. So not fair. Actually, a lot of people who I have helped in the past did not even offer to extend help to me. I am so disappointed in them. I even asked some of these people to help me out a bit but they turned me down.

I am kinda pissed. But not up to a point that I would go beheading the nearest demon. All I can do is wish that the people who treats me this way just go away and vanish out of my life. I need people like Teddy and Prof Karen Walker in my life. The ones who stayed with me through it all, thick and thin, good times and bad times. Not just with me when I have money. I am through with people who take me for granted and then blames me for the lack of keeping in touch.

That's all for now folks... hope you all have a good weekend! :)

The Zeppo

I was meeting someone during the weekend. At Tasik Permaisuri. I don’t go there alone because it’s not too safe so I asked Teddy to come with. Actually, it’s been like our thing now that Prof Karen Walker upped and left us to fend for ourselves, going to exotic locations such as… Kedah. Hehehe, a little inside joke.

Anyway, we were hanging out at the Chinese side, for some reason, and chatting with friends. It was interested for sure (yup, I purposely typed in ‘interested’, as another inside joke. Teddy’ll get it). Poor Teddy got the front of his car scratched by a Mat Rempit who sped up from behind and tried to overtake Teddy. However, he could not really over take Teddy the Speed Demon and timed it slightly poorly and the Mat Rempit’s exhaust pipe scratched a humongous line across the front of Teddy’s car.

I saw it happen but I thought he just bumped into the car. When we parked, we saw the scratches. Poor Teddy. There were like 200 of them there so we could not even attempt to track down which one did it and butt-rape him till kingdom come. We did get a little taste of revenge when one of them Remps lost control and fell onto the road in a spectacular stuntmanship. Not. Teddy thought he made it happen with his mind. He did not know this but it was me. I used Piper’s power and blew up his brakes. Hehhehe.

Anywho, a guy I kinda liked and have been drooling over for some time now messaged me and said that he was on his way to the Malay side so I got poor Teddy to drive us over there. We’ve been flirting a lot at Myspace so we’re finally get the chance to meet. I was sexcited. This time, we managed to avoid the Remps.

The guy is very cute. Unfortunately, he came with his boyfriend, who wasted no time in peeing around the guy, marking his territory. I was a bit pissed (what’s up with all these golden shower reference?) because 1) I was lied to – he said he was single, 2) the marking of the territory, 3) the boyfriend acted like we’ve never met before when in fact he used to be my housemate. To add a bad hair day to broken fingernails, Cute Tasik Guy actually thought Teddy was McDreamy.

Who wouldn’t right? But still. Tact. Look it up. Sigh. What am I? A fag hag to these people? I am not a girl okay? Contrary to popular belief.

This had happened before. A few times I think. A blind date at Times Square, followed me to get Baskin Robbins, saw Teddy, declared Teddy the man of his dreams. See? McDreamy.

Another was a long time ‘friend’. Very brazen, very loud, very without silent button. After Teddy? You can hear a pin drop. Complete polar opposite. Shy, quiet, muted. All because he was smitten by Teddy. McSmitten?

Annoying Melaka Guy could not concentrate on the bowling game. I am pretty sure The Ex also had dirrrty thoughts when they had first met. Even though both had denied feeling any attraction to Teddy but I have a feeling that was only for my benefit.

What’s a gurl to do? Stop bringing dates to meet Teddy? I can’t do that! If I don’t bring them to meet Teddy, how am I gonna know if I like them or not? Hehehe, Will & Grace reference. I want my guy to be able to hang out with me and my friends coz they’re important to me. Guys come and go, but friends are forever. Except when they double cross you or say bad things about you over a slight misunderstanding, then it’s hasta la vista bitchy!

Hmm, I guess I could turn this around and make it a positive thing, even though the sting still lingers. I could use Teddy as a test. If a date passes the test, then he’s a keeper for sure. At the very least, he could keep the drooling to a minimum and pretended to fawn over me still, even though the luscious Teddy is nearby. That would work.

Helpless

It's the end of the month. Everyone's gotten paid except for me. I'll be getting my cheque at the very last day of May. Sigh.

I have been very busy at work. I am now producing computer-based guides for the softwares. It's not hard but it's tedious and tedious is what's taking up all my time. I have been neglecting my blogs and my writings because of this. Apparently, when you're a rookie and you're quite tech-savvy and able to (almost) master new software easily, work gets piled onto you like nobody's business. I am not complaining. Hardly. I am just relaying the information to you guys. I am deeply thankful that I have this job.

I have lots to update. My housemate officially moved out of the flat so I have the place all to myself. Last week, I received a 29-inch Sharp TV from the good people at MBF. I did some balance transfer and as a thank you, they gave me the TV. Yay! No need to go and buy.

My 29" TV next to my 14"
I've turned ex-housemate's room into a media room. I've relocated the sofa and the huge book rack from my room into the media room. It’s quite nice since the window is facing wide open spaces and it’s nice and cool if I just pop open a window. Hmm, maybe I should have turned that room into my room instead. Nah, too lazy to break apart that damned huge bed.

So my living room will now be half den and half dining area. Yup, I am planning to get broadband so I don’t have to go to the cybercafés anymore. But I am not sure when this will happen. Maybe after the second full pay.

Ever since I had been dumped unceremoniously, I had been busy getting back into the grind. Does this mean I am already over The Ex? Not necessarily. Maybe my feelings for him were not that deep? Not necessarily. Dead horse, not getting any deader no matter how hard you whack it. I have accepted the death of the relationship and attempting to move on. Boy, I am having a hell of a time at the wake. Hehehe.

Last month, someone had Googled me. Evan Owens I mean. I thought I had a stalker. I was kinda excited/scared/thrilled. It's been a while since I had stalkers. Okay, that’s not true. I still have them, ehhehe.

So I decided to check it out. Google that name and see what comes up. By the way, I chose that name randomly. He was a character in my TV show script about a family of witches. It turned out that there is an actual person named Evan Owens.

The real Evan Owens
Of all the names I could have taken on, I chose the name of an actual living person. Not only that, he is an up-and-coming singer too. I guess I better start putting in a disclaimer somewhere in this blog that I am not the singer.

Or maybe I should just revert back to my other screen name. Yup, I used to go by a different name and had a different (defunct but making a comeback) blog that was quite the spicy, apparently. Anyone care to venture forth a guess? The first person to get it right gets a treat at Chili’s KLCC during Friday prayers. Hehehehhe.

Gingerbread

I am still not over Melinda Doolittle getting kicked off just before the finale. But I am at peace with the newly crowned American Idol. It's who I was expected and rooted for.

Did anyone catch the new season of The Apprentice? Um, when I say new, I actually mean the one currently showing on Malaysian TV and not the one showing in the States. Even though most people mistake me for American, I am living in Malaysia and have no access to high-speed Internet and would download episodes in advance and go around spoiling it for other people. Yes, I am talking about your friend, Prof Karen Walker! He told me Caridee won half way through the season shown on Channel V!! That bitch!!! Um, no offense to the people who downloads. I just got beef with people who walks around thinking it’s okay to spoil other people’s leisure time.

I saw the first episode of The Apprentice and one of the Project Managers were hawt! His name was Tareq (2nd guy on the left... I spoiled myself while looking for this pix, *sobs*). Hot stuff. Nice bod. Mensa member so you know at least one of his vital organs is huge. Heheheh. A witty conversation beats great sex any day. What am I talking about? Nothing beats sex. Even bad sex is better than a witty conversation. What did you expect from a slut?
Unfortunately for me, Tareq turned out to be an all-around bitch and not really intelligent. Too bad. He had the look already. Sigh. Maybe his other organ is huge that all the blood goes there, hence his brain was not functioning properly. I know, I know, I got sex imprinted in my brain.




Speaking of sex, one of my favorite shows has just been canceled. Veronica Mars, R.I.P. I loved the show. It was Buffy the Vampire Slayer without the supernatural element, Nancy Drew without being overly teenage-y, Charlie’s Angels without the overt sexuality and CSI without being too scientific. It’s about a girl, Veronica Mars, who is a super sleuth, investigating the murder of her best friend, her own rape and various other issues faced by her friends. She does this while maintaining a 4.0 average, handling the scorn of her peers for her father’s misjudgment, working part time at Java Hut and moonlighting as paparazzi for her father’s private investigation business. Phew.

Believe me, there is no show like it. It had a shaky sophomore season, as did most shows on this planet but I still had love for the show. Now, after only three seasons, it’s going to the big discard pile in heaven along with my other faves such as Buffy, Angel, Tru Calling, Charmed, Firefly, She Spies, Dark Angel and Roswell.

Here lies Veronica Mars. Never undercount the sassy.