Thursday, January 31, 2008


Switchfoot’s performing this Saturday at KL Convention Center!! And I am going to the concert!!! But more importantly, I am going with… care to take a wild guess? Yup, #1 Crush. Apparently, he is a big fan of Switchfoot but he failed to mention it to me before.

He said he did. I don’t recall any mention of Switchfoot. Anyways, I told him I am going and will be getting a free ticket coz of my new connections. I love my job. Ehehehhe.

Oh, and I was supposed to go with another friend but he had a work thing so I was in the market for a concert buddy. #1 Crush seemed like the perfect one right? Yup. But he could not really afford to buy the ticket due to prior commitments so I looked into it. Who knows, maybe I could get another free ticket.

Then I found out that the lady that was getting me the ticket had to work so I could possibly get hers. She said it’s possible so I told #1 Crush. Oh yeah, it’s not 100% set in stone yet. I am keeping my fingers crossed…

Friday, January 11, 2008

Into the Woods

Not to bitch at a new job at this early a stage but I kinda got some problems with work. Nothing too drastic or earth shattering but it's bugging the hell out of me. I know, I know, I could stand to be a little more proactive and stand up for myself and it's not like I'm such a pushover, it's just that I don't really like conflict and once a conflict emerges, work sitch will start to be uncomfortable and unbearable. Sigh.

Firstly, my pay is not that high. I got over that. But now that I might have to burn the midnight oil (I actually did a couple of times) and will have to work weekends, I am thinking that I got the short end of the stick here. Other people in the office gets a slightly smaller salary than mine but they got paid for overtime. This Sunday, I have to go outstation for a work thing and if I recall correctly, there's no meal allowance or anything allocated to me. Other colleagues, the ones that have to go out of the office all the time, gets some sort of allowance. This problem, I'll deal with later. This outstation thingy is a one-off thing I think. But working late might be a reality soon enough. I should get meal allowance or transport allowance or something.

Secondly, my colleagues are not doing their jobs. I would end up doing their jobs for them. The admin guy is never at his cubicle. And as soon as he goes and disappears, there would be a need for him. Errands and stuff. I'd be the one sent to go get a letter or a package or deliver something to another unit in the building. Nothing to do with my job right? Sigh. That's not the worst of it. This one other colleague, keeps insisting that I do her work for her. Yup, that's right.

She pretends to not know how to do stuff and out of the goodness of my heart, I'd help out. At first, I did not mind because I did not have anything to do and did not even have a computer yet so I helped out of sheer boredom. Now, I actually have somethings to do and yet she still asks me to do stuff for her. Ordinarily, I don't mind doing write-ups or Powerpoint presentations or whatever but if you want my help, you gotta do your work first, then I'll add on. Noooooooooooooooo. She wants me to write everything. Her excuse? "I'm not that good with Powerpoint" or "I don't know how to write a letter."

This, coming from a girl who's supposed to be the marketing person. How has she survived as the marketing person before this? Maybe she did what she's doing with me now, getting other people to do it for her. Sigh. Nice girl but she needs to do her own job. Hmm, come to think of it, I do recall other people, friends and whatnot, asking me to do the same thing for them. Why? Just because I know how to write? Everyone can write. I ain't that special. I know, I know, I should just tell these people to shove it up somewhere but as I did a few days ago, I'll deflect from helping. Busy with my own work. Hehheheh. Yup, I really don't like conflict. But no one gets to walk all over me and gets away with it. Doormat, I am not. I think...

Friday, January 4, 2008

Listening to Fear

The New Year is upon us once again. This has been quite a year for me, but not as tumultuous as 2006.

I started out the year with great friends, doing PR work for an oil & gas company, kinda seeing someone, kinda avoiding my mother… basically as good as it gets. After a couple of months, the ‘kinda seeing’ turned into an actual relationship. Things are looking up.

Not for long though. Just as my love life was stabilizing, my work life went down the drain. I made an error in judgment that led to me being fired. Okay, I was not fired. I was asked to leave. Technicality…

I was unemployed for a month before I was recruited by my fag hag’s twin sister. Lucky me. I thought I was going to be unemployed for months again. Luck was a lady they say and that lady was a bitch. Moody bitch at that. She got me the job but then decided to dissolve my relationship.

Yup, just as my life was getting back on track, I was dumped. The reason? He was afraid that he would forever be known a no good gold-digging tramp. I told him that was a lousy excuse. First of all, who cares what other people think and second of all, prove them all wrong. Prove to them that you’re not just using me for my money (even though I don’t have that much money). Sigh. It was like talking to a wall.

My life sank into a depression and with it, came the migraines. I had to take some emergency leave and stuff and that got me in a bit of hot water at work. I asked him to give me some money when I was unemployed but he refused to. I guess our time together meant nothing to him. The fact that I always went out of my way to help him also did not register at all. I was even more depressed. The migraines came back and brought some friends along with. My friends were there for me though. I am eternally grateful for them. And they were right about him all along. I just refused to believe it coz I was blinded by love. Sigh.

Just when I thought I was stuck in that depressed rut, along came him. The guy I’ve dubbed #1 Crush. In the few weeks I’ve known him, he managed to bring me out of my funk and I was able to function normally again. But then, I fell for him and that brought on another bout of depression. The good kind. The kind that I don’t mind because it’s all me and not caused by him.

Anyways, things at work were improving because the migraines and friends went away and I was able to go to work normally. #1 Crush and I were also doing great. I mean, we were getting along fine. Until my friends started ragging on us. Okay, so I made the tragic mistake of telling them how I felt. How was I supposed to know they’d not stop teasing me (and him) about it? Mercilessly. I don’t mind the teasing because it’s true. I heart #1 Crush. But he did not feel the same way about me. We’re just friends. He should not be subjected to such torment, especially since he has a lover already. Sigh.

So, towards the end of the year, I switched jobs yet again. I have grown to love my colleagues. My job is nice also. And have I mentioned that some of my colleagues are effing cute? And that I get to meet celebs like Sheikh Muszaphar? Sigh…

Anyways, thank you everyone who made my year a living hell and then turned it around and made it bearable again. To my ex-colleagues at the oil & gas company, even though it ended the way it did, I still look back fondly of our time together. I got to go to Singapore!

To my ex, thanks for our time together, even though now it felt like it was all a lie but a lie that I needed.

To my friends, I love you guys and thanks for being there for me, even though you guys are quite evil and nasty and devoid of human feelings.

To my fag hag and twin sis, thanks for hiring me and giving me a chance.

To my ex-colleagues, you guys made life at the office slightly pleasant. To my current colleagues, hopefully what we have now will last.

Lastly, to #1 Crush, thanks for coming into my life just when I needed it the most. I am not sure if you know this but you’ve made me more confident and slightly happier that I ever was. For that, I am eternally grateful. Hope you won’t take this the wrong way, but I love you…