Bad Girls

This is a short post/rambling. I really don't like moochers. Especially the ones who don't at all keep in touch and be constantly silent until one day, magically reappear as though nothing had happened.

I know a few people like that. My cousins, sadly. They almost always know when I have money. But when I was unemployed, they went under the radar. So far down that you can't even locate them using the standard locator spell.

Like today for example. My cousin SMSed and asked to borrow money. When I was not working and trying to make ends meet, I asked for his help. He could not help. But now, he wants me to help. So not fair. Actually, a lot of people who I have helped in the past did not even offer to extend help to me. I am so disappointed in them. I even asked some of these people to help me out a bit but they turned me down.

I am kinda pissed. But not up to a point that I would go beheading the nearest demon. All I can do is wish that the people who treats me this way just go away and vanish out of my life. I need people like Teddy and Prof Karen Walker in my life. The ones who stayed with me through it all, thick and thin, good times and bad times. Not just with me when I have money. I am through with people who take me for granted and then blames me for the lack of keeping in touch.

That's all for now folks... hope you all have a good weekend! :)

Gingerbread

I am still not over Melinda Doolittle getting kicked off just before the finale. But I am at peace with the newly crowned American Idol. It's who I was expected and rooted for.

Did anyone catch the new season of The Apprentice? Um, when I say new, I actually mean the one currently showing on Malaysian TV and not the one showing in the States. Even though most people mistake me for American, I am living in Malaysia and have no access to high-speed Internet and would download episodes in advance and go around spoiling it for other people. Yes, I am talking about your friend, Prof Karen Walker! He told me Caridee won half way through the season shown on Channel V!! That bitch!!! Um, no offense to the people who downloads. I just got beef with people who walks around thinking it’s okay to spoil other people’s leisure time.

I saw the first episode of The Apprentice and one of the Project Managers were hawt! His name was Tareq (2nd guy on the left... I spoiled myself while looking for this pix, *sobs*). Hot stuff. Nice bod. Mensa member so you know at least one of his vital organs is huge. Heheheh. A witty conversation beats great sex any day. What am I talking about? Nothing beats sex. Even bad sex is better than a witty conversation. What did you expect from a slut?
Unfortunately for me, Tareq turned out to be an all-around bitch and not really intelligent. Too bad. He had the look already. Sigh. Maybe his other organ is huge that all the blood goes there, hence his brain was not functioning properly. I know, I know, I got sex imprinted in my brain.




Speaking of sex, one of my favorite shows has just been canceled. Veronica Mars, R.I.P. I loved the show. It was Buffy the Vampire Slayer without the supernatural element, Nancy Drew without being overly teenage-y, Charlie’s Angels without the overt sexuality and CSI without being too scientific. It’s about a girl, Veronica Mars, who is a super sleuth, investigating the murder of her best friend, her own rape and various other issues faced by her friends. She does this while maintaining a 4.0 average, handling the scorn of her peers for her father’s misjudgment, working part time at Java Hut and moonlighting as paparazzi for her father’s private investigation business. Phew.

Believe me, there is no show like it. It had a shaky sophomore season, as did most shows on this planet but I still had love for the show. Now, after only three seasons, it’s going to the big discard pile in heaven along with my other faves such as Buffy, Angel, Tru Calling, Charmed, Firefly, She Spies, Dark Angel and Roswell.

Here lies Veronica Mars. Never undercount the sassy.

The Wish

It doesn't matter what I want
It doesn't matter what I need
It doesn't matter if I cry
Don't matter if I bleed
You've been on a road
Don't know where it goes or where it leads

It doesn't matter what I want
It doesn't matter what I need
If you've made up your mind to go
I won't beg you to stay
You've been in a cage
Throw you to the wind you fly away

It doesn't matter what I want
It doesn't matter what I need
It doesn't matter if I cry
Don't matter if I bleed
Feel the sting of tears
Falling on this face you've loved for years

I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don’t let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

Remember the good times that we had?
I let them slip away from us when things got bad
How clearly I first saw you smilin’ in the sun
Wanna feel your warmth upon me, I wanna be the one

I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don’t let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

I’m so tired but I can’t sleep
Standin’ on the edge of something much too deep
It’s funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word
We are screaming inside, but we can’t be heard

But I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don’t let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

I’m so afraid to love you, but more afraid to loose
Clinging to a past that doesn’t let me choose
Once there was a darkness, deep and endless night
You gave me everything you had, oh you gave me light

And I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don’t let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

And I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don’t let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
Weep not for the memories

Band Candy

I still haven’t heard anything from those three interviews. I am assuming the worst, except for that one interview with C*sm*p*int. Apparently, they are looking for a Communications Manager first, then only they’d hire the execs. These things take time so I think I’m still in the running to become America’s Next Top Model. Oops, wrong script. I am still in the running to be hired.

Next week, I have two interviews lined up. One in KL and the other in Penang. The one in KL is for Technical Writer. The office is somewhere near KLCC which is great because there’s an LRT station nearby. The one in Penang is for Research Assistant. Monday is KL interview and Friday is Penang interview.

I would be leaving for Penang on Thursday, stay in a hotel for the night, attend the interview next morning and get on a bus back to KL in the afternoon. Of course, if the KL people want to hire me, then I won’t even attend the Penang interview. I am not a big fan of relocation. Much.

What’s that I hear? L*m*t? What about L*m*t? Is it nearby? Like it was near K*ngs*r? I guess it is near, relatively speaking. What’s that? I could go meet ESS while I am up north? Yeah, I guess I could. I’ve told ESS about it but he doesn’t think it’s possible. He has a thing or might have a thing. I am not sure which one but he seems to think that there’s a possibility that I might be there and not be able to meet him. So I am putting the kibosh on that plan. And, no, Prof Karen Walker, I am not going to the Penang interview just so that I’d have a chance to go see ESS.

Not like it matters anyway. He’s quite a busy man these days. Too busy to communicate. Sometimes I feel like a single girl. Sigh. It’s the price you pay for having a long distance relationship. A fragile one at that, where another man could just sweep him off his feet and away from me in a blink of an eye. ESS is quite the looker and apparently the charmer as well. Sigh. What? Do I think he has somebody already and he doesn’t need me anymore? No I did not think that. Now I do. Dammit. My imagination is my own worst enemy. Shut up Imagination! I am sure he’s faithful (in the boyfriend/relationship sense, and not in the sexual sense, coz we are in an open relationship) and not looking for a better boyfriend to replace unworthy, ugly me.

Trust is key. When I do get to talk to him, he has not told me to take my love and shove it. What? Do I think he has someone already but is not telling me about him? Dammit Imagination! Did you have to call your cousin, Paranoia, and fill my head with crazy things? Shut up! Just shut up! Oooh, just like my favorite Black Eyed Peas song. Shut up, just shut up, shut up.

Beauty & The Beasts

The storm has not yet passed but it has calmed down a bit around here and I could see rays of light peeking through the murky, cloudy skies.

Some sentiments can't be changed. Information were passed on during an emotionally bad period. Information that would ordinarily be processed as trivia but was blown out of proportions by a paranoid, frenzied mind.

Even without the information, a lot of people are questioning the validity and the sanctity of it all. Storm's brewing big but with a little communication and understanding on both ends, I think we'll ride it out. For now...

Faith, Hope & Trick

I don't wanna say it. But I'm gonna. A storm's brewing offscreen. I am not quite sure what but I've got a few people talking at me lately and making me see things either I might already know but pushed aside in utter denial, or things that I failed to see because of blurred judgment.

Seeing things in a different light is not something to joke about. It would make a body question things that are, things that will be and things that had past. Feelings get in the way of logic. Trust would be questioned.

Trust. Sigh. I am truly at a crossroads. Trust is not something gained easily. Have I gained the trust? Have I given my trust? I don't really know. Who do I trust? Who do I trust more?

Nothing to be gained from the thunder that rumbled in the distance. Absolutely nothing. Well, maybe one party might gain something.

Have I prepared for the eventual storm? Not exactly, but I did rush out and bought some emergency storm survival kits. For now, I am taking comfort in the survival kits. Right now, it's CNN vs the Weather Channel. I don't know which one is reporting the actual facts and which one is propaganda. Sigh.

I wanna see if I could ride it out. The storm. Wait for it to dissipate. I am hopeful, but not too hopeful, that everything would work out in the end. I want it to work out in the end. To survive the storm. To live happily ever after.

The Puppet Show

I am having the worst couple of weeks ever. Well, okay, maybe not ‘ever’ but this has got to be in the top 3 for sure. After coming back from Merlion Country, everything was fine and dandy. Navy Guy and I were constantly communicating. I got some SGD left over from the trip (yay! Pocket money until salary time!). I got me 10 new perfumes to choose from (yup, went on a shopping spree and bought perfumes).

But then, I had to go back to work and things started going sour from there on out. There was a conference thingy that we had to help out and it was way out there in Putrajaya. However, it is not too far from the office so it’s not too bad. We got to stay there for one night. Suddenly, I am a high-flying jetsetter who goes around the world for my job. Me likey.

Now, for the glass half empty. The conference thingy was organized by a sub and not by my company. We were only meant to come in as backup support. However, we found that we had to work through the night while the team from the sub company actually went home! WTF?!

Also, I was suddenly appointed to be the repertoire. Um, I think that’s how it’s spelt. Ya know, the one who takes note of the seminar and do up the summaries. It is a very technical seminar. I do not have the skills and/or knowledge to summarize the seminar. Now, if the seminar was about f*gs, g*y sex, shopping, movies, entertainment or cooking, then maybe I would be a shoo-in.

I protested and asked to be relieved of the position. Nobody wanted to listen to my argument. I wanted to kill someone. Thank God the boss of the sub company is very cute and very nice. If not, I’d walked off already. Hehhehehe. *blushes*

Then I found out that they only booked us one room. Which is fine because there’s only two guys in my department. Yeah, right. Suddenly, I got news that there would be three more guys bunking with us. Son of a… OMG. At first I tried looking at it positively. One guy was positively hot. Hehehehehe. The others were, um, how do I put it nicely… not. One guy was quite the jackass. Just because he is more senior than the rest of us, that doesn’t mean he gets to have the single bed while the rest of us had to share beds or sleep on the floor.

Don’t even get me started on the smoking in a non-smoking room. It is alright, apparently, to smoke when there is two smokers and two non-smokers. The senior guy insisted that he should be able to smoke. By then, I was totally in bitchy mode so I just told them, “Crack open a window, I don’t want to choke on smoke to death!”

To be continued...

P/S – Sorry folks, had to interrupt the Karma article for this breaking bitchy fit.