June’s quite a big month for me. My nephew was born in this month, and so was I.
But this year, it’s a bit special. This is my 6th month working at the company. One more month, and I’d officially last longer at one job than all other previous jobs. Except for my first job of course. I worked there for more than 2 years. Yup, I had been moving from one job to another ever since that first company shut down.
I had been told, unofficially, that I would be confirmed. Yay! The letter had been drawn up and everything. I have seen it with my own eyes. Unfortunately, we are changing management, and the GM refused to sign the letter and wanted the new management to issue the letter. Unfortunately, the new management wants to put it on hold. So much for the ‘yay’ eh?
But I was told that it’s not just me. Everybody else is in the same boat. Phew!
Anyways, I am taking some time off to go back to my hometown to celebrate my nephew’s birthday. Although it won’t be for too long because the universe will implode if I am in the same room with my mom for more than five minutes.
This month is also when I am testing #1 Crush. To see what the thing between us is… just friends or more or a thing of convenience…
Showing posts with label #1 Crush. Show all posts
Showing posts with label #1 Crush. Show all posts
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Friday, May 30, 2008
Life Serial
The 28th had come and gone. No, we did not go out. He didn't contact me at all. I called him on Monday, asking if it was still on and he said it was.
Now that I had him on the line, I asked him why he was quiet for two weeks. Busy was the answer I got. He claimed to not have gotten my SMSes. Sigh.
He also said that he'd YM me the next day to discuss the details of the replacement birthday celebration dinner.
But of course, he never did contact me and we never did meet.
I've came up with a plan for me to back off whatever the thing is between us, at least for awhile. It seems like all the work came from me and not from him. Kinda like he is taking me for granted and that he doesn't really care.
Now I cannot know for sure what's going on inside his head but I figured it's best if we slowed things down. Maybe we've gotten too close. With the way things were going between us, it's not a bad idea. He's already not contacted me for a couple of weeks so I am used to being alone without him (in spirit anyways).
Just as I was braving the day implementing the new strategy, he YMed me. Even though I was offline. I was online but I was offline to him. So we chatted. No apologies for the silence. No apologies for the canceled date. Nothing. As expected of course.
What am I supposed to do now? As soon as I try to withdraw, he pull me back in...
I think I oughta stick with the plan. Backing off. A bit. Am not gonna pursue anymore. If he wants to meet up, he'll ask and we'll meet. If he wants to chat, he'll buzz me and we'll chat. Nothing more, nothing less. Am tired of being the only one who cares about this 'relationship'...
Now that I had him on the line, I asked him why he was quiet for two weeks. Busy was the answer I got. He claimed to not have gotten my SMSes. Sigh.
He also said that he'd YM me the next day to discuss the details of the replacement birthday celebration dinner.
But of course, he never did contact me and we never did meet.
I've came up with a plan for me to back off whatever the thing is between us, at least for awhile. It seems like all the work came from me and not from him. Kinda like he is taking me for granted and that he doesn't really care.
Now I cannot know for sure what's going on inside his head but I figured it's best if we slowed things down. Maybe we've gotten too close. With the way things were going between us, it's not a bad idea. He's already not contacted me for a couple of weeks so I am used to being alone without him (in spirit anyways).
Just as I was braving the day implementing the new strategy, he YMed me. Even though I was offline. I was online but I was offline to him. So we chatted. No apologies for the silence. No apologies for the canceled date. Nothing. As expected of course.
What am I supposed to do now? As soon as I try to withdraw, he pull me back in...
I think I oughta stick with the plan. Backing off. A bit. Am not gonna pursue anymore. If he wants to meet up, he'll ask and we'll meet. If he wants to chat, he'll buzz me and we'll chat. Nothing more, nothing less. Am tired of being the only one who cares about this 'relationship'...
Thursday, May 22, 2008
After Life
It's been a week since I saw #1 Crush. A week since his birthday. Ever since then, I got busy with work. And apparently, he is also very busy.
We've not talked. We've not YMed. We've not SMSed. Nothing.
I got worried. Something might've happened to him. I sent him one message last week and another this week. Both went unanswered. More worrying occurred.
Then yesterday, I accidentally blocked him on YM, ya know, while doing spring cleaning. Yes, I spring-clean my YM every now and then. Too many people on the list but I am not chatting that often...
Anyways, I just wanted to put him as offline but accidentally blocked him and he went missing from my YM. So I added him back. There was a sign on next to him name saying connection pending approval or something like that. By afternoon, that message was gone. That would mean he had approved me.
That would also mean he was online, at work and alive and well. And that would also mean he is ignoring my SMSes. He was also not chatting with me by choice. He was there in front of the computer and he could approve my request but he had no time to tell me that he was alright and that he was busy? Hmmm...
Anyways, now I am thinking that it's possible that whatever it is that I had with him have ended. Sigh. If only he'd tell me what's up. That it's over. Or that he truly is busy. Or he could no longer be friends with me. I was worried until the whole 'approve' thingy. Thought he was in an accident or sick or something...
Whatever it is, I have mentally prepared myself for the worst. Dayyymmmnnn. This time last year, I broke up with The Ex. Same time, different guy. Only this time, I am truly, madly, deeply in love with the guy. Sigh. Why can't these people wait until after my birthday to break up with me? I've never celebrated my birthday with the guy I am in love with... sigh...
We've not talked. We've not YMed. We've not SMSed. Nothing.
I got worried. Something might've happened to him. I sent him one message last week and another this week. Both went unanswered. More worrying occurred.
Then yesterday, I accidentally blocked him on YM, ya know, while doing spring cleaning. Yes, I spring-clean my YM every now and then. Too many people on the list but I am not chatting that often...
Anyways, I just wanted to put him as offline but accidentally blocked him and he went missing from my YM. So I added him back. There was a sign on next to him name saying connection pending approval or something like that. By afternoon, that message was gone. That would mean he had approved me.
That would also mean he was online, at work and alive and well. And that would also mean he is ignoring my SMSes. He was also not chatting with me by choice. He was there in front of the computer and he could approve my request but he had no time to tell me that he was alright and that he was busy? Hmmm...
Anyways, now I am thinking that it's possible that whatever it is that I had with him have ended. Sigh. If only he'd tell me what's up. That it's over. Or that he truly is busy. Or he could no longer be friends with me. I was worried until the whole 'approve' thingy. Thought he was in an accident or sick or something...
Whatever it is, I have mentally prepared myself for the worst. Dayyymmmnnn. This time last year, I broke up with The Ex. Same time, different guy. Only this time, I am truly, madly, deeply in love with the guy. Sigh. Why can't these people wait until after my birthday to break up with me? I've never celebrated my birthday with the guy I am in love with... sigh...
Monday, May 12, 2008
Bargaining Part 2
We did not go through with the original plan. Big celebratory dinner. Because both of us kinda broke. So he asked to reschedule it to pay day. Which would be in 16 days. 16 days would be too long and the last time I saw him was early April. I told him (and I was being bold with this) that I missed him and I wanna meet him still. Besides, I could give him his birthday present.
He said okay. We could meet up for a short while, for drinks. Yay! He did not say no. Yay again! Hehehehe.
So we met. He looked as ravishing as ever but he wore pants that kinda hide his nice tush. Dammit. We went to Carrefour and had drinks and talked. He said the weirdest thing to me... He asked me why I was so sexy... *blushes*
Then, Nelly Furtado came along and sang "Why do all good things come to an end?"
We parted ways. Yup, just a short meetup. I gave him his present. I was all nervous. He opened it and loved it! Yay! Phew! Then he asked when my birthday was. I am guessing that he wants to get me an awesome gift as well. Hehehehhe.
Before I got out of the car, I shook his hand and wished him happy birthday, then I got bold again and asked for a hug. I know, I know, I should have been spontaneous and just hugged him but we were both strapped in. Why the hell did I asked him that? Stupid me.
But he said that there were too many people around so we could not. He told me I could give him the hug later on when we met again for celebratory dinner. Yay!
He said okay. We could meet up for a short while, for drinks. Yay! He did not say no. Yay again! Hehehehe.
So we met. He looked as ravishing as ever but he wore pants that kinda hide his nice tush. Dammit. We went to Carrefour and had drinks and talked. He said the weirdest thing to me... He asked me why I was so sexy... *blushes*
Then, Nelly Furtado came along and sang "Why do all good things come to an end?"
We parted ways. Yup, just a short meetup. I gave him his present. I was all nervous. He opened it and loved it! Yay! Phew! Then he asked when my birthday was. I am guessing that he wants to get me an awesome gift as well. Hehehehhe.
Before I got out of the car, I shook his hand and wished him happy birthday, then I got bold again and asked for a hug. I know, I know, I should have been spontaneous and just hugged him but we were both strapped in. Why the hell did I asked him that? Stupid me.
But he said that there were too many people around so we could not. He told me I could give him the hug later on when we met again for celebratory dinner. Yay!
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Bargaining Part 1
#1 Crush's birthday is coming up. I've planned to have a celebratory dinner with him the night before his actual birthday. Ya know, so that if other people such as colleagues, family members or the boyfriend would wanna take him out to celebrate, they could. He'd be free to celebrate with them.
He has confirmed that the dinner is on. Yay! I am so happy. Unfortunately, his birthday came at such an unfortunate timing. I was told that some of the claims that was due to me is not actually claimable. Like the PWTC gig. 10 days worth of allowances gone down the drain, even though I already got some allowance from the parent company and also from the organisers. But when I asked my boss, she said I could still claim. Sigh.
So starting last week (and even the weekend), I am watching my spending and not going out as much so that I could go celebrate #1 Crush's birthday. Not that I wanna spend that much money, but at least a decent restaurant. It's not often I get to celebrate the birthday of someone I am in love with. Yes, that's right. Even after all these years, I've never been with anyone that long to celebrate a birthday or even an anniversary. Sigh.
I am still at a loss as to what to give #1 Crush for a birthday present. I am sure my undying love and loyalty doesn't count. Right? Hehehehe...
Yeah, even though he knows how I feel about him, it's kinda awkward to be saying it out loud.
I got him a DVD. Is that a good present? It's his favorite movie. Double Disc Special Edition Director's Cut. I actually had bought it a long time ago but when I bought it, I had #1 Crush in mind. And I think he's seen the DVD on my shelves whenever he came over. Is that tacky? Giving a present that's been bought a long time ago? Anyway, I am out of ideas so I am giving him that DVD and also perfume, But the perfume was something he had specifically asked me to get for him from the warehouse sale that I went to, so technically it could not be counted as a present.
I am so psyched!! Can't wait for Monday... I wanna hug him and kiss him... but I dunno if I would have the nerve to do so... maybe... I am so gonna need liquor... wish me luck! :)
By the way, tomorrow (11th) makes it exactly one year that I broke up with The Ex and one year that I have been single... Not too sure where he is or what he is doing... but I hope he's happy... okay, I don't, sue me... I hope he rot in purgatory but happily rotting in purgatory... hehehehe...
He has confirmed that the dinner is on. Yay! I am so happy. Unfortunately, his birthday came at such an unfortunate timing. I was told that some of the claims that was due to me is not actually claimable. Like the PWTC gig. 10 days worth of allowances gone down the drain, even though I already got some allowance from the parent company and also from the organisers. But when I asked my boss, she said I could still claim. Sigh.
So starting last week (and even the weekend), I am watching my spending and not going out as much so that I could go celebrate #1 Crush's birthday. Not that I wanna spend that much money, but at least a decent restaurant. It's not often I get to celebrate the birthday of someone I am in love with. Yes, that's right. Even after all these years, I've never been with anyone that long to celebrate a birthday or even an anniversary. Sigh.
I am still at a loss as to what to give #1 Crush for a birthday present. I am sure my undying love and loyalty doesn't count. Right? Hehehehe...
Yeah, even though he knows how I feel about him, it's kinda awkward to be saying it out loud.
I got him a DVD. Is that a good present? It's his favorite movie. Double Disc Special Edition Director's Cut. I actually had bought it a long time ago but when I bought it, I had #1 Crush in mind. And I think he's seen the DVD on my shelves whenever he came over. Is that tacky? Giving a present that's been bought a long time ago? Anyway, I am out of ideas so I am giving him that DVD and also perfume, But the perfume was something he had specifically asked me to get for him from the warehouse sale that I went to, so technically it could not be counted as a present.
I am so psyched!! Can't wait for Monday... I wanna hug him and kiss him... but I dunno if I would have the nerve to do so... maybe... I am so gonna need liquor... wish me luck! :)
By the way, tomorrow (11th) makes it exactly one year that I broke up with The Ex and one year that I have been single... Not too sure where he is or what he is doing... but I hope he's happy... okay, I don't, sue me... I hope he rot in purgatory but happily rotting in purgatory... hehehehe...
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
The Gift
May. A month full of events. Birthdays. An ex-fag hag. A few scandals. A friend. #1 Crush. Yes, you know where this was headed. Such smart readers. Oh, and two days before #1 Crush’s birthday, my ex and I broke up, exactly one year ago.
Don’t worry. I am over that. I have #1 Crush. Not that I using #1 Crush to get over my ex. Hmm… methinks it’s about time to name #1 Crush something else since I am sure that I am no longer crushing… any suggestions?
Anyways, I told you guys that I had been working super crazy and that I rarely get time off, even weekends off right? So I am taking time off in May. Just a few days. I still have plenty of replacement leave though.
I am taking time off specifically the day before #1 Crush’s birthday. And on the day itself. I wanna celebrate his birthday with dinner. Even though #1 Crush mentioned that he doesn’t celebrate his birthday, I am hoping he’d bend the rules for me. Yup, I told him that I’d love to take him out. He’ll consider. Hopefully we can get together. This would be the first time I actually celebrate a loved one’s birthday with them.
If he says no, or he’s too busy with work, then I get to be on leave still. Consolation prize but hey, still something right. I told him I’d take him out the day before the actual birthday so that he could spend his birthday with his friends or his boyfriend. *clutches chest* Dun worry, I’ll be okay…
Now. What do I get him for a birthday present? I already bought him Polo Black during the perfume warehouse sale last weekend but that was more him asking me to buy him something and not me buying it coz I wanted to.
Oh, speaking of perfumes, I called him Saturday to tell him what I bought for him. I normally would not disturb him on weekends as that was the time for him with his boyfriend *head aches*. Ugh, that kinda hurt.
But I already told him about it on Friday. I actually wanted to confirm if he wants it or not but he did not pick up the first time I called so I naturally assumed he was with the boyfriend. Hey, that did not hurt. *nose bleeds* Dammit.
But later in the afternoon, during lunch, he sent me a message so I called him and we talked for a bit. Today, he told me his boyfriend was actually listening in on the conversation. Crap. #1 Crush was being ominous and stopped communicating after that. Did he get in trouble? But why would he get in trouble? It was a very innocuous conversation. I am kinda worried though. This incident might put a crimp in my plans to celebrate his birthday later in the month…
UPDATE: It seems that I was worried for no apparent reason. All is fine... :)
Don’t worry. I am over that. I have #1 Crush. Not that I using #1 Crush to get over my ex. Hmm… methinks it’s about time to name #1 Crush something else since I am sure that I am no longer crushing… any suggestions?
Anyways, I told you guys that I had been working super crazy and that I rarely get time off, even weekends off right? So I am taking time off in May. Just a few days. I still have plenty of replacement leave though.
I am taking time off specifically the day before #1 Crush’s birthday. And on the day itself. I wanna celebrate his birthday with dinner. Even though #1 Crush mentioned that he doesn’t celebrate his birthday, I am hoping he’d bend the rules for me. Yup, I told him that I’d love to take him out. He’ll consider. Hopefully we can get together. This would be the first time I actually celebrate a loved one’s birthday with them.
If he says no, or he’s too busy with work, then I get to be on leave still. Consolation prize but hey, still something right. I told him I’d take him out the day before the actual birthday so that he could spend his birthday with his friends or his boyfriend. *clutches chest* Dun worry, I’ll be okay…
Now. What do I get him for a birthday present? I already bought him Polo Black during the perfume warehouse sale last weekend but that was more him asking me to buy him something and not me buying it coz I wanted to.
Oh, speaking of perfumes, I called him Saturday to tell him what I bought for him. I normally would not disturb him on weekends as that was the time for him with his boyfriend *head aches*. Ugh, that kinda hurt.
But I already told him about it on Friday. I actually wanted to confirm if he wants it or not but he did not pick up the first time I called so I naturally assumed he was with the boyfriend. Hey, that did not hurt. *nose bleeds* Dammit.
But later in the afternoon, during lunch, he sent me a message so I called him and we talked for a bit. Today, he told me his boyfriend was actually listening in on the conversation. Crap. #1 Crush was being ominous and stopped communicating after that. Did he get in trouble? But why would he get in trouble? It was a very innocuous conversation. I am kinda worried though. This incident might put a crimp in my plans to celebrate his birthday later in the month…
UPDATE: It seems that I was worried for no apparent reason. All is fine... :)
Monday, April 21, 2008
Weight of the World
Prof Karen Walker loves to stir things up. I don’t think he could sit by and watch things moving at a glacial pace.
He recently asked me a series of questions. Questions pertaining to #1 Crush.
Questions like “Where is this going?” and “What do you want from this?” and the million dollar question, “If he continues to treat you nicely and pay attention to you, will you stop looking?”
Questions that I could not really answer. Um, for those not in the know (or those just starting to read the blog), I am in love with #1 Crush (aptly named after the Romeo & Juliet song by Garbage) but unfortunately for me, he is currently in a relationship. I don’t even know if he likes me like how I like him or not. I know he enjoys spending time with me, if not we would not be meeting it up every now and again, just the two of us.
Anyways, I am not sure where this is going and what I want from this. Okay, I know what I want. Him. Plain and simple. But then things get complicated. Assuming that he digs me too, how would one proceed with that? I believe in karma. What goes around, comes around, as Ms Keys would belt out. What would stop someone else from breaking us up if that was how I got him in the first place?
Then, typically, Prof Karen Walker came out with a taunt.
“(*name censored for anonymity) is vacationing with (again, censored, anonymity). What have you got?”
Yeah, there’s this guy who’s in love with another guy but that guy is not single. Sounds familiar? Exactly like the situation I am in with #1 Crush. Hence the comparison. This guy did not care about anyone else and he set out to get his man. Prof Karen Walker have not said this out loud but I think he’s rooting for this guy. Maybe because the guy is doing something about it. He wants it, and he’ll work to achieve it. And the Prof has been telling me that I don’t communicate well and that I never say what I want.
How do I do this? Do I just tell #1 Crush about my feelings for him and attempt to break him and his boyfriend up? I have a problem with that scenario. Not the telling about feelings part but the breaking up of people part. Actually, #1 Crush knows of my feelings for him. We kinda talked about it early on. He is also a conversational wizard and managed to wring out of me the address of this blog. Since I write about my feelings here, including feelings about him, he has read them all and knows everything. He has no problems with it and had said that I am entitled to my feelings and he is flattered.
I guess Prof Karen Walker is the hands-on kinda guy. It must’ve baffled him to see me going at it like this.
It’s clear. I am not denying that I am in love. I am also not denying that I have no idea how #1 Crush feels about me or about all this. For all I know, he is quite happy with his current life and is not looking for a change. However, he is still in touch with me almost daily and when there’s a break in both our schedules, we’d meet up for some quality time together.
No matter what, I am thankful that he is in my life. Even if we’re destined to just be friends. I’ll take it. Be near him is good enough for me. Guess we now know the answer to the third question eh?
He recently asked me a series of questions. Questions pertaining to #1 Crush.
Questions like “Where is this going?” and “What do you want from this?” and the million dollar question, “If he continues to treat you nicely and pay attention to you, will you stop looking?”
Questions that I could not really answer. Um, for those not in the know (or those just starting to read the blog), I am in love with #1 Crush (aptly named after the Romeo & Juliet song by Garbage) but unfortunately for me, he is currently in a relationship. I don’t even know if he likes me like how I like him or not. I know he enjoys spending time with me, if not we would not be meeting it up every now and again, just the two of us.
Anyways, I am not sure where this is going and what I want from this. Okay, I know what I want. Him. Plain and simple. But then things get complicated. Assuming that he digs me too, how would one proceed with that? I believe in karma. What goes around, comes around, as Ms Keys would belt out. What would stop someone else from breaking us up if that was how I got him in the first place?
Then, typically, Prof Karen Walker came out with a taunt.
“(*name censored for anonymity) is vacationing with (again, censored, anonymity). What have you got?”
Yeah, there’s this guy who’s in love with another guy but that guy is not single. Sounds familiar? Exactly like the situation I am in with #1 Crush. Hence the comparison. This guy did not care about anyone else and he set out to get his man. Prof Karen Walker have not said this out loud but I think he’s rooting for this guy. Maybe because the guy is doing something about it. He wants it, and he’ll work to achieve it. And the Prof has been telling me that I don’t communicate well and that I never say what I want.
How do I do this? Do I just tell #1 Crush about my feelings for him and attempt to break him and his boyfriend up? I have a problem with that scenario. Not the telling about feelings part but the breaking up of people part. Actually, #1 Crush knows of my feelings for him. We kinda talked about it early on. He is also a conversational wizard and managed to wring out of me the address of this blog. Since I write about my feelings here, including feelings about him, he has read them all and knows everything. He has no problems with it and had said that I am entitled to my feelings and he is flattered.
I guess Prof Karen Walker is the hands-on kinda guy. It must’ve baffled him to see me going at it like this.
It’s clear. I am not denying that I am in love. I am also not denying that I have no idea how #1 Crush feels about me or about all this. For all I know, he is quite happy with his current life and is not looking for a change. However, he is still in touch with me almost daily and when there’s a break in both our schedules, we’d meet up for some quality time together.
No matter what, I am thankful that he is in my life. Even if we’re destined to just be friends. I’ll take it. Be near him is good enough for me. Guess we now know the answer to the third question eh?
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Spiral
Had been working for two weekends in a row. Normally I’d complain and bitch about it but this time I was happy to do it.
Book Fair at PWTC. The parent company joined us at the booth and actually gave us RM20 per day meal allowance. I also get to claim from my employers RM40 per day. That doesn’t include the RM20 per day I got as a bonus from the organizers because they were supposed to provide food but they did not manage to. All in all, it’s RM80 per day on top of my salary.
Plus, #1 Crush was there. There were so many things going on between us. Lunches, dinners, karaokes, bowling. There was even cooking of dinner. He was cooking at my place. J
Yes, I am a happy gurl. Although the book fair is over and life resumed back to its normal ways, I still smile when recalling the book fair. We spent so much time together in that one week than we’ve ever done in the one year we’ve been friends. Sigh.
Oh, and Marketing Girl quit. I bet my boss is doing a happy dance. She told me and a colleague that she’d do whatever it takes to make sure MG quit.
Hmm, two mini paragraphs of #1 Crush and I moved on to work stuff? Weird. I don’t really feel the need to talk about what went on. Too much things to blog? Not really. Hmmm…
I have to say this though. I am getting more comfortable with him and letting my guard down. I mentioned karaoke right? I’ve always tried to and successfully avoided him for karaokes because I am shy. I don’t let just anyone hear me sing. Next up is clubbing. Yes, I’ve been avoiding him in the clubs too. I dunno why but I am shy. I don’t really dance, even though I love to dance. He’s been seeking me out in the clubs but we’ve never crossed paths. Thank Goddess.
Oh, also, I’ve been getting more and more jealous. Of other people flirting with him. Of course I can’t control it and can’t stop them from flirting. The thing that makes it worse is that #1 Crush flirts back. Sigh.
#1 Crush is extremely charming and good looking. Quite a number of guys and girls fall for him. Including this one gay guy working in front of my booth. Of course I can’t tell him off, to tell him to stop flirting with #1 Crush. Sigh.
#1 Crush was not being helpful to the sitch coz he also flirts back and was asking for the fag’s number. I told him I would not give him the number because I was jealous. Yup, that’s right. I told him. Dunno whether I oughta feel proud that I was forthcoming with the info or I should feel embarrassed. After all, #1 Crush is not mine. I should not be jealous. We’re supposed to be just friends. Sigh.
Then, there was this incident with a friend who wanted so badly to meet #1 Crush. Of course I balked. Not so much from jealousy… okay, jealous. But also coz I have told them of my feelings for #1 Crush and I did not want any of it repeated to #1 Crush.
But this friend went around telling my other friends his intentions of wanting to meet #1 Crush. I shouldn’t balk at that right? Wrong. He also told my friends he would not mind if #1 Crush wanted to do him. He told me himself that he wanted to meet #1 Crush but only meet. But then he finished his statement by saying “I don’t think I am #1 Crush’s taste anyways.” Announcing intentions much?
#1 Crush is good looking and I don’t blame the guy for getting an itch down there but come on. Like Tyra Banks said, “If you’re a bitch, hide it”. If you really wanna go down this road, don’t tell me lar. He knows how I feel and yet he’s flaunting it to my face. Sigh.
So much for not writing much about #1 Crush eh?
Book Fair at PWTC. The parent company joined us at the booth and actually gave us RM20 per day meal allowance. I also get to claim from my employers RM40 per day. That doesn’t include the RM20 per day I got as a bonus from the organizers because they were supposed to provide food but they did not manage to. All in all, it’s RM80 per day on top of my salary.
Plus, #1 Crush was there. There were so many things going on between us. Lunches, dinners, karaokes, bowling. There was even cooking of dinner. He was cooking at my place. J
Yes, I am a happy gurl. Although the book fair is over and life resumed back to its normal ways, I still smile when recalling the book fair. We spent so much time together in that one week than we’ve ever done in the one year we’ve been friends. Sigh.
Oh, and Marketing Girl quit. I bet my boss is doing a happy dance. She told me and a colleague that she’d do whatever it takes to make sure MG quit.
Hmm, two mini paragraphs of #1 Crush and I moved on to work stuff? Weird. I don’t really feel the need to talk about what went on. Too much things to blog? Not really. Hmmm…
I have to say this though. I am getting more comfortable with him and letting my guard down. I mentioned karaoke right? I’ve always tried to and successfully avoided him for karaokes because I am shy. I don’t let just anyone hear me sing. Next up is clubbing. Yes, I’ve been avoiding him in the clubs too. I dunno why but I am shy. I don’t really dance, even though I love to dance. He’s been seeking me out in the clubs but we’ve never crossed paths. Thank Goddess.
Oh, also, I’ve been getting more and more jealous. Of other people flirting with him. Of course I can’t control it and can’t stop them from flirting. The thing that makes it worse is that #1 Crush flirts back. Sigh.
#1 Crush is extremely charming and good looking. Quite a number of guys and girls fall for him. Including this one gay guy working in front of my booth. Of course I can’t tell him off, to tell him to stop flirting with #1 Crush. Sigh.
#1 Crush was not being helpful to the sitch coz he also flirts back and was asking for the fag’s number. I told him I would not give him the number because I was jealous. Yup, that’s right. I told him. Dunno whether I oughta feel proud that I was forthcoming with the info or I should feel embarrassed. After all, #1 Crush is not mine. I should not be jealous. We’re supposed to be just friends. Sigh.
Then, there was this incident with a friend who wanted so badly to meet #1 Crush. Of course I balked. Not so much from jealousy… okay, jealous. But also coz I have told them of my feelings for #1 Crush and I did not want any of it repeated to #1 Crush.
But this friend went around telling my other friends his intentions of wanting to meet #1 Crush. I shouldn’t balk at that right? Wrong. He also told my friends he would not mind if #1 Crush wanted to do him. He told me himself that he wanted to meet #1 Crush but only meet. But then he finished his statement by saying “I don’t think I am #1 Crush’s taste anyways.” Announcing intentions much?
#1 Crush is good looking and I don’t blame the guy for getting an itch down there but come on. Like Tyra Banks said, “If you’re a bitch, hide it”. If you really wanna go down this road, don’t tell me lar. He knows how I feel and yet he’s flaunting it to my face. Sigh.
So much for not writing much about #1 Crush eh?
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Tough Love
Work’s getting me down. Pressure. It’s not good for me. Understatement. I know. But I am prone to have migraines. Too much pressure and I’ll get the worst kind of migraine. Sigh.
I’d love to be able to just quit. I had even considered going back to my hometown and work with my mother. Yeah, it’s really that bad. Um, for those not in the know, I had a huge fight with my mom and we’re not really in good terms with each other for over a year and a half now. But that’s a totally different story.
Anyways, I have been given a task to do some sort of marketing thingy which had absolutely nothing to do with my job scope. Actually, I was put in charge. Now, I don’t really mind because if I go out for events like these, I could claim meal allowance. 10 days worth of meal allowance is quite a lot and I could use that kind of money.
Plus, #1 Crush will also be there. Heheheheh. Yes, I look towards the brighter side of things. I can’t look at the bad. It gives me a headache. Anyways, he’s been on the quiet side these past few days. Not sure what’s up. I miss him. Miss chatting with him. Sigh.
Oops, sidetracked. We had a meeting today to discuss the events and a colleague spoke up. She was not thrilled about doing events. She even applied for leave. My boss chewed her up and spat her out. I wished I could help her and state my case as well but my colleague dug a hole the size of a grave and jumped in.
She actually said that the marketing thingy is not a marketing exec’s job. Unfortunately for her, it really is a marketing job. My boss told her that she’s being unreasonable and that she really should take charge. Boss pointed out that me and the other two guys could cite that excuse and refuse to work but Marketing Girl could not. Boss went on a rant for half an hour. I tried diverting the word lashing and discuss the event but I could not divert it.
The guys and I were blushing like mad and our ears were red. It was effing uncomfortable. Marketing Girl was quiet like a mouse while Boss kept on lashing with her wicked mouth. Finally, Boss just told her to hand in her resignation letter coz Marketing Girl kept saying she can’t do the marketing thingy coz she’s shy and embarrassed to be doing such work. Again, digging own grave. Sigh.
I felt bad coz Boss could have lashed at Marketing Girl in private and just kept the meeting on point. Sometimes I think Boss just could not think straight and is powered by her hormones.
I don’t know whether Marketing Girl will quit or not. I hope not. I kinda like her a bit. I miss #1 Crush. Yes, yes, had to put it in there. Sigh. Our ‘relationship’ is kinda different, I can’t contact him. He contacts me. I don’t do waiting well but I have learned and understood his patterns. If I deal the hand first, I get zip. Always waiting. Always alone. No, wait, that’s a Slayer. Sigh…
I’d love to be able to just quit. I had even considered going back to my hometown and work with my mother. Yeah, it’s really that bad. Um, for those not in the know, I had a huge fight with my mom and we’re not really in good terms with each other for over a year and a half now. But that’s a totally different story.
Anyways, I have been given a task to do some sort of marketing thingy which had absolutely nothing to do with my job scope. Actually, I was put in charge. Now, I don’t really mind because if I go out for events like these, I could claim meal allowance. 10 days worth of meal allowance is quite a lot and I could use that kind of money.
Plus, #1 Crush will also be there. Heheheheh. Yes, I look towards the brighter side of things. I can’t look at the bad. It gives me a headache. Anyways, he’s been on the quiet side these past few days. Not sure what’s up. I miss him. Miss chatting with him. Sigh.
Oops, sidetracked. We had a meeting today to discuss the events and a colleague spoke up. She was not thrilled about doing events. She even applied for leave. My boss chewed her up and spat her out. I wished I could help her and state my case as well but my colleague dug a hole the size of a grave and jumped in.
She actually said that the marketing thingy is not a marketing exec’s job. Unfortunately for her, it really is a marketing job. My boss told her that she’s being unreasonable and that she really should take charge. Boss pointed out that me and the other two guys could cite that excuse and refuse to work but Marketing Girl could not. Boss went on a rant for half an hour. I tried diverting the word lashing and discuss the event but I could not divert it.
The guys and I were blushing like mad and our ears were red. It was effing uncomfortable. Marketing Girl was quiet like a mouse while Boss kept on lashing with her wicked mouth. Finally, Boss just told her to hand in her resignation letter coz Marketing Girl kept saying she can’t do the marketing thingy coz she’s shy and embarrassed to be doing such work. Again, digging own grave. Sigh.
I felt bad coz Boss could have lashed at Marketing Girl in private and just kept the meeting on point. Sometimes I think Boss just could not think straight and is powered by her hormones.
I don’t know whether Marketing Girl will quit or not. I hope not. I kinda like her a bit. I miss #1 Crush. Yes, yes, had to put it in there. Sigh. Our ‘relationship’ is kinda different, I can’t contact him. He contacts me. I don’t do waiting well but I have learned and understood his patterns. If I deal the hand first, I get zip. Always waiting. Always alone. No, wait, that’s a Slayer. Sigh…
Monday, March 17, 2008
The Body
Work’s a bitch. Lately. Gone are the days where it’s fun and games. It’s now tense and boring and bitchy. But I won’t talk about that coz I am not directly involved.
But believe me. The underlings are in for the fight of their lives against the management. Oooh, the plot sickens…
I wanna bitch about work that’s affecting me. The part where I don’t get a life and supposed to work 24/7. Sigh.
I am still working seven days a week. Getting tired and restless. I need a break but I could not. I need my weekends. Unfortunately I have to work weekends as well and it’s not even my primary job. I hate being the reliable one.
Some friends have commented that I looked like I’ve lost weight. Can fatigue cause weight loss? If it could, then I might have slimmed down a bit. My pants are literally falling off of my waist… if only there was a cute guy around when it actually comes down to the knees… hehehehe…
Speaking of cute guys, had a date with #1 Crush… it went well. He showed up. First sign of the date going well. I believe this was our first movie date. Lessee… we saw Beowulf with friends. We saw Harry Potter with friends too. We went and saw Horton Hears A Who. His choice. I would have picked Spiderwick but Horton is okay for me too.
Oh, and he gave me three dictionaries. THREE. Free. I was looking for a dictionary for my unit and my boss gave me money to go get a couple and I told him about it. He brought em and gave me for free, even though I could’ve paid him the money. Altogether now, awwwww…
Sigh… anyways, like I said, the date went great. I always have a good time with him. Of course, he looked as hot as ever. Took all of my will power not to pinch his cheeks. On the face lar. Haiyo. Not his ass. Okay, maybe his ass too. A bit. Okay, a lot. He noticed I was drooling over his nicely shaped ass so he turned around so that I would not see the ass. Big mistake coz now his um, thingy, is bulging in my face. Sigh…
Anyways, I was not the only one who was checking out asses. He was checking out mine too. Or at least I think he was. He said that I should lose the backpack so that he could see the curviness of where the small of the back meets the ass. And he poked me on the stomach on more than one occasion. Why? The boy is a chubby chaser lar, he likes em round. Hehehehe.
Hmm… he’s not in town anymore. Outstation because of work. When work stopped being hectic today, I realized that I missed him a lot. I know he’s taken and that I am grasping at air but I can’t help it. But we all know my luck is never good in this department. Guess I should count my blessings that a hot guy is even talking to me eh?
But believe me. The underlings are in for the fight of their lives against the management. Oooh, the plot sickens…
I wanna bitch about work that’s affecting me. The part where I don’t get a life and supposed to work 24/7. Sigh.
I am still working seven days a week. Getting tired and restless. I need a break but I could not. I need my weekends. Unfortunately I have to work weekends as well and it’s not even my primary job. I hate being the reliable one.
Some friends have commented that I looked like I’ve lost weight. Can fatigue cause weight loss? If it could, then I might have slimmed down a bit. My pants are literally falling off of my waist… if only there was a cute guy around when it actually comes down to the knees… hehehehe…
Speaking of cute guys, had a date with #1 Crush… it went well. He showed up. First sign of the date going well. I believe this was our first movie date. Lessee… we saw Beowulf with friends. We saw Harry Potter with friends too. We went and saw Horton Hears A Who. His choice. I would have picked Spiderwick but Horton is okay for me too.
Oh, and he gave me three dictionaries. THREE. Free. I was looking for a dictionary for my unit and my boss gave me money to go get a couple and I told him about it. He brought em and gave me for free, even though I could’ve paid him the money. Altogether now, awwwww…
Sigh… anyways, like I said, the date went great. I always have a good time with him. Of course, he looked as hot as ever. Took all of my will power not to pinch his cheeks. On the face lar. Haiyo. Not his ass. Okay, maybe his ass too. A bit. Okay, a lot. He noticed I was drooling over his nicely shaped ass so he turned around so that I would not see the ass. Big mistake coz now his um, thingy, is bulging in my face. Sigh…
Anyways, I was not the only one who was checking out asses. He was checking out mine too. Or at least I think he was. He said that I should lose the backpack so that he could see the curviness of where the small of the back meets the ass. And he poked me on the stomach on more than one occasion. Why? The boy is a chubby chaser lar, he likes em round. Hehehehe.
Hmm… he’s not in town anymore. Outstation because of work. When work stopped being hectic today, I realized that I missed him a lot. I know he’s taken and that I am grasping at air but I can’t help it. But we all know my luck is never good in this department. Guess I should count my blessings that a hot guy is even talking to me eh?
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Blood Ties
My luck has not been good lately. I guess the leprechauns forgot to pay me a visit or something. I lost my digital camera on an outing. My money literally vanished from my wallet. Either that, or someone dipped his hand into my wallet and stole it. Hope a Vengeance Demon, I mean, Justice Demon would serve up some justice there.
Anyways, the unlucky streak came again when I got stood up by #1 Crush. Yup, you heard right. He’s not as perfect as I had said huh? Of course not. No one is perfect. Sigh. But he’s quite close… hehehehe… okay, so maybe not close… I am biased…
We made plans to meet up Sunday for a matinee and lunch, even though he was going to Ipoh on Saturday and have to attend his company’s annual dinner Sunday night. Yes, he was squeezing me in his busy sched. Yeah, I was all with the “Awww…” too…
I had slight reservation about it though coz Saturdays are normally my Guys Night Out with the guys and we normally stay up until the wee hours of the morning. I might not be able to wake up in the morning because we were meeting up at 10. And I was right. We hung out until 5.30 in the morning and I dragged myself out of bed to go to Kelana Jaya LRT station and I arrived by 9.40. Waited until almost 10.30 and I send him an SMS.
He called back and said that he was sleeping and he got in at 6 am. He then asked me why I did not message him when I was coming. We already confirmed at 10 so I did not feel the need to be a secretary. So I went back home and he went back to bed. I was slightly tiffed coz I had to wake up early on a Sunday and waited for nothing. But I was more crushed because I did not get to spend time with him. Huhuhu…
He did apologize though. On Monday, he apologized again. And wanted to make it up to me. I told him a movie date would suffice so we made plans to hang out Saturday afternoon. Which led to the whole Switchfoot thing.
Yes, now we’re on Switchfoot. My colleague had been totally avoiding the subject, every time I asked her about it. She insisted that tickets would be available. I kept asking and she kept blowing me off. I had a feeling that the ticket might not be available. She did not pick up my calls the night before and on Saturday. I told #1 Crush of the sitch, that the tickets might not be available. Soooo did not wanna disappoint him. We made a B plan of going to the movies instead.
The lady did not follow through on her promise and she told me I had to go there and use my media pass and I had to masquerade #1 Crush as an intern. I did not like the odds so I called #1 Crush. He was of the same opinion. So I asked him if he still wanted to hang with me and go to the movies. He sounded hesitant, then finally saying his friends are gathering for karaoke and that karaoke had been his B plan all along. Sigh. Thought he’d wanna take the opportunity to make it up to me for standing me up the weekend before.
He’d rather hang out with his friends karaoke-ing. Who was I to stop him? But there’s this voice at the back of my mind keeps telling me that there’s a reason why he’d blow me off again, even after standing me up. Maybe I was just deluding myself into thinking that he likes me and likes hanging out with me. I totally enjoy his company but he might not feel the same way. I hope that’s not the case but with the stuff that has happened, I don’t really know for sure. Am so confused…
Anyways, the unlucky streak came again when I got stood up by #1 Crush. Yup, you heard right. He’s not as perfect as I had said huh? Of course not. No one is perfect. Sigh. But he’s quite close… hehehehe… okay, so maybe not close… I am biased…
We made plans to meet up Sunday for a matinee and lunch, even though he was going to Ipoh on Saturday and have to attend his company’s annual dinner Sunday night. Yes, he was squeezing me in his busy sched. Yeah, I was all with the “Awww…” too…
I had slight reservation about it though coz Saturdays are normally my Guys Night Out with the guys and we normally stay up until the wee hours of the morning. I might not be able to wake up in the morning because we were meeting up at 10. And I was right. We hung out until 5.30 in the morning and I dragged myself out of bed to go to Kelana Jaya LRT station and I arrived by 9.40. Waited until almost 10.30 and I send him an SMS.
He called back and said that he was sleeping and he got in at 6 am. He then asked me why I did not message him when I was coming. We already confirmed at 10 so I did not feel the need to be a secretary. So I went back home and he went back to bed. I was slightly tiffed coz I had to wake up early on a Sunday and waited for nothing. But I was more crushed because I did not get to spend time with him. Huhuhu…
He did apologize though. On Monday, he apologized again. And wanted to make it up to me. I told him a movie date would suffice so we made plans to hang out Saturday afternoon. Which led to the whole Switchfoot thing.
Yes, now we’re on Switchfoot. My colleague had been totally avoiding the subject, every time I asked her about it. She insisted that tickets would be available. I kept asking and she kept blowing me off. I had a feeling that the ticket might not be available. She did not pick up my calls the night before and on Saturday. I told #1 Crush of the sitch, that the tickets might not be available. Soooo did not wanna disappoint him. We made a B plan of going to the movies instead.
The lady did not follow through on her promise and she told me I had to go there and use my media pass and I had to masquerade #1 Crush as an intern. I did not like the odds so I called #1 Crush. He was of the same opinion. So I asked him if he still wanted to hang with me and go to the movies. He sounded hesitant, then finally saying his friends are gathering for karaoke and that karaoke had been his B plan all along. Sigh. Thought he’d wanna take the opportunity to make it up to me for standing me up the weekend before.
He’d rather hang out with his friends karaoke-ing. Who was I to stop him? But there’s this voice at the back of my mind keeps telling me that there’s a reason why he’d blow me off again, even after standing me up. Maybe I was just deluding myself into thinking that he likes me and likes hanging out with me. I totally enjoy his company but he might not feel the same way. I hope that’s not the case but with the stuff that has happened, I don’t really know for sure. Am so confused…
Friday, February 1, 2008
Checkpoint
I am writing this from the office. Yes, I have to work!! It's Federal Territory Day and I have to work!! I even have to work Saturday and Sunday!
No big really coz I get to replace these three days at a different time. But I freaked out a bit about working Saturday coz of the Switchfoot concert. Coz of the going to the concert with a certain someone.
I told him to go ahead to the concert without me if I ended up working late Saturday but he refused to go without me, for reasons known only to him. But I am going to be all 'glass half full' and say that he is being sweet. Altogether now... Awwww...
When I asked my boss about it, she snapped at me for having excuses when it comes to work. In front of people. So I waited for her to go back to her room, then asked her again, telling her about the concert and that I am going with that special someone. Yes, yes, I told her but skipped on the details. She assumed it's a girl. An actual girl. What... #1 Crush is a man... for the most part... hehehehe...
We checked the time and found that the event was only until 12. Thank Goddess. So it's still on. I hope #1 Crush won't fall asleep or anything and stand me up again. Oh, wait, I haven't told you guys this story yet. Well, I'm gonna. Watch this space.
Oh, and yes, the tickets have yet to materialize but my colleague assures me that the tickets are accounted for. We have to go to the convention center and hook up with her friend to get it. Hopefully there's no problem. Otherwise #1 Crush might get pissed. *crosses finger*
No big really coz I get to replace these three days at a different time. But I freaked out a bit about working Saturday coz of the Switchfoot concert. Coz of the going to the concert with a certain someone.
I told him to go ahead to the concert without me if I ended up working late Saturday but he refused to go without me, for reasons known only to him. But I am going to be all 'glass half full' and say that he is being sweet. Altogether now... Awwww...
When I asked my boss about it, she snapped at me for having excuses when it comes to work. In front of people. So I waited for her to go back to her room, then asked her again, telling her about the concert and that I am going with that special someone. Yes, yes, I told her but skipped on the details. She assumed it's a girl. An actual girl. What... #1 Crush is a man... for the most part... hehehehe...
We checked the time and found that the event was only until 12. Thank Goddess. So it's still on. I hope #1 Crush won't fall asleep or anything and stand me up again. Oh, wait, I haven't told you guys this story yet. Well, I'm gonna. Watch this space.
Oh, and yes, the tickets have yet to materialize but my colleague assures me that the tickets are accounted for. We have to go to the convention center and hook up with her friend to get it. Hopefully there's no problem. Otherwise #1 Crush might get pissed. *crosses finger*
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Triangle
Switchfoot’s performing this Saturday at KL Convention Center!! And I am going to the concert!!! But more importantly, I am going with… care to take a wild guess? Yup, #1 Crush. Apparently, he is a big fan of Switchfoot but he failed to mention it to me before.
He said he did. I don’t recall any mention of Switchfoot. Anyways, I told him I am going and will be getting a free ticket coz of my new connections. I love my job. Ehehehhe.
Oh, and I was supposed to go with another friend but he had a work thing so I was in the market for a concert buddy. #1 Crush seemed like the perfect one right? Yup. But he could not really afford to buy the ticket due to prior commitments so I looked into it. Who knows, maybe I could get another free ticket.
Then I found out that the lady that was getting me the ticket had to work so I could possibly get hers. She said it’s possible so I told #1 Crush. Oh yeah, it’s not 100% set in stone yet. I am keeping my fingers crossed…
He said he did. I don’t recall any mention of Switchfoot. Anyways, I told him I am going and will be getting a free ticket coz of my new connections. I love my job. Ehehehhe.
Oh, and I was supposed to go with another friend but he had a work thing so I was in the market for a concert buddy. #1 Crush seemed like the perfect one right? Yup. But he could not really afford to buy the ticket due to prior commitments so I looked into it. Who knows, maybe I could get another free ticket.
Then I found out that the lady that was getting me the ticket had to work so I could possibly get hers. She said it’s possible so I told #1 Crush. Oh yeah, it’s not 100% set in stone yet. I am keeping my fingers crossed…
Monday, November 19, 2007
Out of My Mind
Has anybody seen Beowulf? That has got to be the gayest movie I've seen since Alexander. The hero guy kept being naked. What's up with that? Yes, I went to see that with #1 Crush (and three other friends). It's not that big a deal. I saw Harry Potter with him (and four other friends). But this time, we got to sit next to each other. Not by my planning of course. Someone else was in charge of the tickets and handed me mine and #1 Crush his.
Prof Karen Walker kept asking me where my hands were, like I'd do anything underhanded. Dude, #1 Crush had been to my place and we had been in closer proximity than that. Alone even. Nothing happened. Contrary to popular belief, I am capable of restraint. Sigh.
Anyways, I am not going to talk about that night or the fact that #1 Crush is good at bowling (which is something I look for in a partner, sigh). I wanna talk about my job. New job. I've been offered a job at the news agency that I interviewed for. The money offered is still the same as my current pay but since it is a start in the right direction of the career that I envisioned having, I guess I am willing to take it like a man.
I have submitted my two weeks notice. As predicted, my boss has piled on work for me and expects miracles AKA me finishing em all of before I leave. Hopefully I can. I don't wanna cause trouble for my supervisor who helped hired me in the first place. She was the one who pushed me to go for this new job. She totally understood me. Even before I could fathom making any decision.
In December, I'll be a web editor and I'll be working in a new environment and with new colleagues. Oh good God, I think I might throw up a little bit. Ooh, that reminds me. I gotta get me a housemate. Anyone looking for a room to rent in Cheras? :)
Prof Karen Walker kept asking me where my hands were, like I'd do anything underhanded. Dude, #1 Crush had been to my place and we had been in closer proximity than that. Alone even. Nothing happened. Contrary to popular belief, I am capable of restraint. Sigh.
Anyways, I am not going to talk about that night or the fact that #1 Crush is good at bowling (which is something I look for in a partner, sigh). I wanna talk about my job. New job. I've been offered a job at the news agency that I interviewed for. The money offered is still the same as my current pay but since it is a start in the right direction of the career that I envisioned having, I guess I am willing to take it like a man.
I have submitted my two weeks notice. As predicted, my boss has piled on work for me and expects miracles AKA me finishing em all of before I leave. Hopefully I can. I don't wanna cause trouble for my supervisor who helped hired me in the first place. She was the one who pushed me to go for this new job. She totally understood me. Even before I could fathom making any decision.
In December, I'll be a web editor and I'll be working in a new environment and with new colleagues. Oh good God, I think I might throw up a little bit. Ooh, that reminds me. I gotta get me a housemate. Anyone looking for a room to rent in Cheras? :)
Friday, November 9, 2007
The Replacement
The job interviews went quite well. The KL one was a bit off. Somehow I come across as being intimidated by the interviewer, even though this was my third time being interviewed by him.
The one in PJ was relatively better. The interviewer was kinda hot and he was kinda gay. I dunno whether the fact he was hot or he was gay or what, but I was slightly more comfortable in that interview. Or maybe because he was speaking English. Hmm...
The interview even went on for more than one hour. #1 Crush SMSed me, asking where I was. I did not realize that it was close to 6 already. The interviewer seemed reluctant to let me go though. Kept stalling. Ordinarily, I'd raise my eyebrow and be slightly curious but I was kinda late and the commuter train is not known for being on time so I was eager to leave.
I got to Subang Parade around 6.30. He looked so fine. Of course. We walked around a bit before heading to TGIF for dinner. We finally got a chance to eat our favorite food. Ribs. He wanted to order the JD glazed ribs at first but changed his mind and ordered the normal BBQ ribs. He also asked for a non-smoking table, even though he smokes.
Why? Apparently he was thinking of me. Isn't that sweet? Makes a boy fall in love. Wait. Already did. Fall even more. I don't smoke. I don't drink alcohol. If he took the JD-glazed one, I wouldn't be able to have some. He even rebuffed my claim that alcohol burns once cooked. He said some still lingers. So caring. Altogether now... awwwww....
After dinner, we headed out. He had a couple of errands to do before sending me home. We took the Federal Highway home. He popped in a CD which featured love songs and love songs only. Toni Braxton. Mariah Carey. BoyzIIMen. George Benson. O.M.G. I love Nothing's Gonna Change My Love For You. Always sing it at karaoke. He was singing along to some songs. I kinda joined but I kept my voice level under his because he sings like an angel and my singing voice is bad.
Unfortunately for me, there was a Siti Nurhaliza song in the CD and I completely forgotten my reservations and sang normally. I noticed #1 Crush not singing from time to time but I did not make anything of it until the song ended and he said that my singing voice is nice. What the... he was listening to me singing. Noooo!!! Oh, the horrors!! Wait, he said my singing voice is nice???
And why is he piling on the compliments? Dammit. My singing voice is not nice. I have been fortunate that he had been too busy to join me and my friends for karaoke. I am embarassed to unleash my singing voice in front of him. But apparently it's nice so I don't have to pray he'd be busy during karaoke sessions anymore. Just pray that he'd be busy during clubbing time. I ain't ready for him to see me dance. I am not good. Oooh, that reminds me. Last couple of weeks, I went clubbing with friends and so did he. He went looking for me on the dance floor. Lucky I had moved on and went upstairs. I don't think I could have danced if I knew he was around. Yes, yes, I am weird that way.
Where was I? Oh, yes, love songs. All the way to Cheras. Sigh. Then, he missed the exit near Midvalley. I told him so and he said he did not wanna pay the toll. I shrugged. He was taking the long way home. I get to spend more time with him. Wait. Is that his plan all along? Hmmm. Nah. I could not be that lucky. He probably did not know that route to my place. He knew that one way only. Still, I ain't complaining. More time with him is always good. Get to see him sing and be goofy. God, he is so adorable when he's goofy. Just wish I could reach across and pinch his cheek. The one on the face lar people. I am in love, not in lust.
Anywho, gotta stop gushing now. Remember, #1 Crush knows of this blog and will probably read this. Even though it's sweet of him to pretend he knows nothing of it when I deny I have a blog. :)
The one in PJ was relatively better. The interviewer was kinda hot and he was kinda gay. I dunno whether the fact he was hot or he was gay or what, but I was slightly more comfortable in that interview. Or maybe because he was speaking English. Hmm...
The interview even went on for more than one hour. #1 Crush SMSed me, asking where I was. I did not realize that it was close to 6 already. The interviewer seemed reluctant to let me go though. Kept stalling. Ordinarily, I'd raise my eyebrow and be slightly curious but I was kinda late and the commuter train is not known for being on time so I was eager to leave.
I got to Subang Parade around 6.30. He looked so fine. Of course. We walked around a bit before heading to TGIF for dinner. We finally got a chance to eat our favorite food. Ribs. He wanted to order the JD glazed ribs at first but changed his mind and ordered the normal BBQ ribs. He also asked for a non-smoking table, even though he smokes.
Why? Apparently he was thinking of me. Isn't that sweet? Makes a boy fall in love. Wait. Already did. Fall even more. I don't smoke. I don't drink alcohol. If he took the JD-glazed one, I wouldn't be able to have some. He even rebuffed my claim that alcohol burns once cooked. He said some still lingers. So caring. Altogether now... awwwww....
After dinner, we headed out. He had a couple of errands to do before sending me home. We took the Federal Highway home. He popped in a CD which featured love songs and love songs only. Toni Braxton. Mariah Carey. BoyzIIMen. George Benson. O.M.G. I love Nothing's Gonna Change My Love For You. Always sing it at karaoke. He was singing along to some songs. I kinda joined but I kept my voice level under his because he sings like an angel and my singing voice is bad.
Unfortunately for me, there was a Siti Nurhaliza song in the CD and I completely forgotten my reservations and sang normally. I noticed #1 Crush not singing from time to time but I did not make anything of it until the song ended and he said that my singing voice is nice. What the... he was listening to me singing. Noooo!!! Oh, the horrors!! Wait, he said my singing voice is nice???
And why is he piling on the compliments? Dammit. My singing voice is not nice. I have been fortunate that he had been too busy to join me and my friends for karaoke. I am embarassed to unleash my singing voice in front of him. But apparently it's nice so I don't have to pray he'd be busy during karaoke sessions anymore. Just pray that he'd be busy during clubbing time. I ain't ready for him to see me dance. I am not good. Oooh, that reminds me. Last couple of weeks, I went clubbing with friends and so did he. He went looking for me on the dance floor. Lucky I had moved on and went upstairs. I don't think I could have danced if I knew he was around. Yes, yes, I am weird that way.
Where was I? Oh, yes, love songs. All the way to Cheras. Sigh. Then, he missed the exit near Midvalley. I told him so and he said he did not wanna pay the toll. I shrugged. He was taking the long way home. I get to spend more time with him. Wait. Is that his plan all along? Hmmm. Nah. I could not be that lucky. He probably did not know that route to my place. He knew that one way only. Still, I ain't complaining. More time with him is always good. Get to see him sing and be goofy. God, he is so adorable when he's goofy. Just wish I could reach across and pinch his cheek. The one on the face lar people. I am in love, not in lust.
Anywho, gotta stop gushing now. Remember, #1 Crush knows of this blog and will probably read this. Even though it's sweet of him to pretend he knows nothing of it when I deny I have a blog. :)
Sunday, November 4, 2007
Real Me
My contract has just been renewed for the next three months. After that, I will be up for the permanent position of Technical Writer (coz my supervisor's quitting) but nothing is certain since the company's opening up the spot to the public. I figured my chances of getting that job is pretty slim so I am on the lookout for new jobs.
I guess the planet's lined up in my favor or something because I got two interviews set up. Via my friends. They heard about a job opening at their office and submitted my resume to them. I'll be attending the interviews tomorrow. One interview is in KL, nearer to my current office and the other one is in PJ (kinda near to #1 Crush).
I hope I get the one in KL because it is slightly easier for me to get to work. But the one in PJ would allow me to hang out with #1 Crush after work. Heheehe. I need to priotise my thingies right? #1 Crush is a priority to me too.
Anyways, I am seeing him tomorrow after my PJ interview. Am looking forward to that as well. We haven't seen each other for almost month. I miss him a lot. Hopefully nothing will come up and he had to cancel on me. Wish me luck! :)
Oh, and wish me luck for my job interviews too! Heheheh...
I guess the planet's lined up in my favor or something because I got two interviews set up. Via my friends. They heard about a job opening at their office and submitted my resume to them. I'll be attending the interviews tomorrow. One interview is in KL, nearer to my current office and the other one is in PJ (kinda near to #1 Crush).
I hope I get the one in KL because it is slightly easier for me to get to work. But the one in PJ would allow me to hang out with #1 Crush after work. Heheehe. I need to priotise my thingies right? #1 Crush is a priority to me too.
Anyways, I am seeing him tomorrow after my PJ interview. Am looking forward to that as well. We haven't seen each other for almost month. I miss him a lot. Hopefully nothing will come up and he had to cancel on me. Wish me luck! :)
Oh, and wish me luck for my job interviews too! Heheheh...
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Buffy vs Dracula
I had something else all written up. I was gonna tell you guys about my weekend. Went clubbing at La Queen. Almost bumping into #1 Crush (and the boyfriend). Open houses. Cute hosts. Etc etc etc.
But now, there is bigger news. I gotta learn to keep my mouth shut. Or at least keep it shut about some stuff. #1 Crush has finally persuaded me to give him the address to this blog. Yup, the one where I detailed our ‘dates’ and my feelings towards him and not to mention everything else that was going on in my life.
Sigh. Like I could say ‘no’ to him for long. I’d go to the moon and back if he asked me to. Sigh. Again.
Anyways, I was writing up a post when he messaged me over YM, asking me why I was quiet. Nonchalantly, I told him I was writing up a post on my blog for the events that happened during the weekend. So he asked to read it. Again. Yup, I had mentioned my blog to him once and he asked for it but I refused back then.
Somehow or rather, my ability to say ‘no’ to him had gone down the drain and I gave in. But I made him swear that he’d remain a friend to me no matter what. Who knows? Some people don’t really wanna get close to someone, especially since they are taken and that someone is harboring an all-consuming love for them.
He read it… well, the index page anyways, and he said that it was fine. Touching. It’s normal. I am entitled to my own feelings and opinions. Guess his reaction was kinda expected. My friends are not subtle when hinting about my feelings for him and I am pretty sure (from our interactions and conversations) that he had known about the torch that I bear for him. Ooh, bursting into song moment.
*sings* The torch I bear is torching me… (guess correctly what song this is and I’ll buy dinner…)
But now he knows everything, from the ole canoodle to things in my heart to things my conscience is saying. Hopefully things would not change much between us. I so don’t wanna lose him. Oooh, maybe I should not have said that coz #1 Crush might be reading this. Why can’t I fall for a cute, romantic, nice, funny, matured, sexy voiced, independent AND single boy? Had to fall for the unavailable ones eh? Story of my life…
But now, there is bigger news. I gotta learn to keep my mouth shut. Or at least keep it shut about some stuff. #1 Crush has finally persuaded me to give him the address to this blog. Yup, the one where I detailed our ‘dates’ and my feelings towards him and not to mention everything else that was going on in my life.
Sigh. Like I could say ‘no’ to him for long. I’d go to the moon and back if he asked me to. Sigh. Again.
Anyways, I was writing up a post when he messaged me over YM, asking me why I was quiet. Nonchalantly, I told him I was writing up a post on my blog for the events that happened during the weekend. So he asked to read it. Again. Yup, I had mentioned my blog to him once and he asked for it but I refused back then.
Somehow or rather, my ability to say ‘no’ to him had gone down the drain and I gave in. But I made him swear that he’d remain a friend to me no matter what. Who knows? Some people don’t really wanna get close to someone, especially since they are taken and that someone is harboring an all-consuming love for them.
He read it… well, the index page anyways, and he said that it was fine. Touching. It’s normal. I am entitled to my own feelings and opinions. Guess his reaction was kinda expected. My friends are not subtle when hinting about my feelings for him and I am pretty sure (from our interactions and conversations) that he had known about the torch that I bear for him. Ooh, bursting into song moment.
*sings* The torch I bear is torching me… (guess correctly what song this is and I’ll buy dinner…)
But now he knows everything, from the ole canoodle to things in my heart to things my conscience is saying. Hopefully things would not change much between us. I so don’t wanna lose him. Oooh, maybe I should not have said that coz #1 Crush might be reading this. Why can’t I fall for a cute, romantic, nice, funny, matured, sexy voiced, independent AND single boy? Had to fall for the unavailable ones eh? Story of my life…
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Primeval
It’s Thursday. One more day till Eid. One more day of boredom in the office. #1 Crush has gone back to his hometown. Since yesterday. I miss him a lot.
It’s even worse today coz all of my friends are no longer online. Most of them has left the city already. That’s right. I am staying in town. Not going back to celebrate with my family. Same shit. Issues with my mother.
This time, it’s even more dramatic. My mother won’t go through menopause alone so she dragged everybody into her drama. She said she was pissed off at everyone so she would be spending raya at her sister’s place in Pekan. My dad would be in Kuala Lipis, celebrating with his mother, with my brother and niece in tow.
My sister decided to celebrate in Kuantan, with the nephew. I refused to choose a side so I have decided to stick it out in KL and celebrate Raya alone.
Sigh. Now back to the issue with my mom. Nothing I do pleases her. Everything is wrong in her eyes. Worst of all, she keeps telling the whole wide world about it. About everything that she sees wrong with me. I just can’t take it anymore.
One day, I’ll just tell her off. But not anytime soon of course. I don’t want to be evil to my own mother. Hence the staying away part. I miss #1 Crush. I miss his humor, the chats that we have everyday over YM. Oopsy, got a bit sidetracked.
In other news, the receptionist at work AKA the Fag Hag, has told me her desire to marry me, even though she is fully aware that we both have one common denominator. The predilection for sucking cock. I am sure she’ll get over this idea after the holidays. But if she doesn’t, it’ll be good for me. She knows what she is getting into and she is not complaining. According to her, I am good to the ladies. Duh. I am one of the ladies.
But I guess this could solve my “When you getting married?” problem… she could keep doing whoever it is that she’s doing and I could continue to pine for #1 Crush… I mean, I could see anybody I want… can’t believe I might be actually getting married… I am going to be a beautiful bride…
Hmm, wonder who’s gonna be my bridesmaid… oooh, what will we name the kids... I’ve always like the name Lilly…
It’s even worse today coz all of my friends are no longer online. Most of them has left the city already. That’s right. I am staying in town. Not going back to celebrate with my family. Same shit. Issues with my mother.
This time, it’s even more dramatic. My mother won’t go through menopause alone so she dragged everybody into her drama. She said she was pissed off at everyone so she would be spending raya at her sister’s place in Pekan. My dad would be in Kuala Lipis, celebrating with his mother, with my brother and niece in tow.
My sister decided to celebrate in Kuantan, with the nephew. I refused to choose a side so I have decided to stick it out in KL and celebrate Raya alone.
Sigh. Now back to the issue with my mom. Nothing I do pleases her. Everything is wrong in her eyes. Worst of all, she keeps telling the whole wide world about it. About everything that she sees wrong with me. I just can’t take it anymore.
One day, I’ll just tell her off. But not anytime soon of course. I don’t want to be evil to my own mother. Hence the staying away part. I miss #1 Crush. I miss his humor, the chats that we have everyday over YM. Oopsy, got a bit sidetracked.
In other news, the receptionist at work AKA the Fag Hag, has told me her desire to marry me, even though she is fully aware that we both have one common denominator. The predilection for sucking cock. I am sure she’ll get over this idea after the holidays. But if she doesn’t, it’ll be good for me. She knows what she is getting into and she is not complaining. According to her, I am good to the ladies. Duh. I am one of the ladies.
But I guess this could solve my “When you getting married?” problem… she could keep doing whoever it is that she’s doing and I could continue to pine for #1 Crush… I mean, I could see anybody I want… can’t believe I might be actually getting married… I am going to be a beautiful bride…
Hmm, wonder who’s gonna be my bridesmaid… oooh, what will we name the kids... I’ve always like the name Lilly…
Thursday, October 4, 2007
The Yoko Factor
A lot of things have happened between me and #1 Crush these past couple of weeks. I did not really have time to blog about em, mostly because I had been busy.
Not busy with work in the office. But busy with #1 Crush. He and I constantly communicate over YM during office hours. Guess I am lucky that I don’t really have any work to do coz we’d be going at it from morning until it’s time for him (or me) to leave the office.
Ever since our second date at that sushi place, #1 Crush and I had seen each other two more times. The first was at my place for a group buka puasa and the second was near his office for buka puasa.
I hosted a buka puasa gathering (which I do every year) and invited my closest friends. He came at about 2pm, which was way too early. He actually helped me prepare the dishes and kept me company. It was sweet of him to do so.
For the third date, I had to take the commuter train to go to his office area. It’s only fair. He traveled quite far to go to my office area for our second date. We had a seafood dinner and a secret recipe cheesecake dessert. Actually, the third date was supposed to be on the day before but he had to cancel at the last minute because something came up. Of course I was upset as hell but I got over it.
The replacement date was kinda short notice. He was supposed to stay in the office and work (and claim overtime) but he insisted that I come over that side of the world and break fast with him. He would then take me to his office and I’d wait until he’s done with work for him to send me home. I thought it was sweet and highly romantic. He’s involving me in his work life and he was willing to juggle me and work so that we could spend time together before the long Raya break.
Sigh. I think I am falling for him hard. What? I’ve fallen? Yup, I have. Dear God.
I really intended to take things slow with him, mostly he has a boyfriend and I don’t really know if he sees me the way I see him. Unfortunately, with our constant communication and our dates, it’s getting harder and harder to take things slow. Especially with him piling on the charms and the pick-up lines on me. Wait, why would he be piling on the charms and pick-up lines on me? Is he interested in me too? Argh. I need a drink. This is so confusing.
Not busy with work in the office. But busy with #1 Crush. He and I constantly communicate over YM during office hours. Guess I am lucky that I don’t really have any work to do coz we’d be going at it from morning until it’s time for him (or me) to leave the office.
Ever since our second date at that sushi place, #1 Crush and I had seen each other two more times. The first was at my place for a group buka puasa and the second was near his office for buka puasa.
I hosted a buka puasa gathering (which I do every year) and invited my closest friends. He came at about 2pm, which was way too early. He actually helped me prepare the dishes and kept me company. It was sweet of him to do so.
For the third date, I had to take the commuter train to go to his office area. It’s only fair. He traveled quite far to go to my office area for our second date. We had a seafood dinner and a secret recipe cheesecake dessert. Actually, the third date was supposed to be on the day before but he had to cancel at the last minute because something came up. Of course I was upset as hell but I got over it.
The replacement date was kinda short notice. He was supposed to stay in the office and work (and claim overtime) but he insisted that I come over that side of the world and break fast with him. He would then take me to his office and I’d wait until he’s done with work for him to send me home. I thought it was sweet and highly romantic. He’s involving me in his work life and he was willing to juggle me and work so that we could spend time together before the long Raya break.
Sigh. I think I am falling for him hard. What? I’ve fallen? Yup, I have. Dear God.
I really intended to take things slow with him, mostly he has a boyfriend and I don’t really know if he sees me the way I see him. Unfortunately, with our constant communication and our dates, it’s getting harder and harder to take things slow. Especially with him piling on the charms and the pick-up lines on me. Wait, why would he be piling on the charms and pick-up lines on me? Is he interested in me too? Argh. I need a drink. This is so confusing.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Where the Wild Things are
I have been pretty busy lately. With friends, with work, with guys, hehehehe. I had another post lined up after the previous post but it took me quite a while to finish writing it.
There had been so much happening between me and #1 Crush that I could not really pinpoint anything into a post.
Anyways, he suddenly grew a cold front on me. Starting Friday. Had to suffer to some serious silence that day. The weekend was also unbearable. He was even silent on Monday. Guess we were burning too brightly too soon too fast. Sigh.
Anyways, he was apparently avoiding me. But he was answering our group emails. My friends were teasing me mercilessly about my crush on him. Yes, it was written in the emails that were also sent to #1 Crush.
I assumed he was ticked off by the teasings. Or he could be skittish because he has a boyfriend and he did not need that kind of gossip milling about. So that was why I leapt to the conclusion that he was bothered by it and he was avoiding me.
I asked him why he was quiet. It took a while but he finally replied and he said that he had nothing to say to me. I guess I was right. My fairy tale had come to an end. Or so I think. I was upset. It did not help that my mom was making my life hell when I went back to my hometown during the weekend. Sigh.
I finally decided to ask him upfront. Was he really bothered by the teasing? He said he did not mind. He said he was simply busy. I did not believe him. It had to bother him to be teased for something like this. I am no prize, I know that. He, on the other hand, is a great catch. Sigh, yet again.
I decided to kinda leave him alone after that. And I so did not guilt trip him at all. However, the next day, he started messaging me like evevrything was fine and nothing had happened. In fact, he asked me out. Okay, technically he did not. We were talking about breaking fast. He wanted some sushi and I asked him whether he was he preferred Sushi King or Genki Sushi. He said he doesn't know but he goes to Genki more often. I said I haven't had Genki and he should take me there some time. He agreed. He said he was breaking fast with some friends that night (yesterday nite) so he wanted to take me out tonite!
Yes, that's right. I am seeing him for dinner tonight! Yay! Wish me luck! :)
There had been so much happening between me and #1 Crush that I could not really pinpoint anything into a post.
Anyways, he suddenly grew a cold front on me. Starting Friday. Had to suffer to some serious silence that day. The weekend was also unbearable. He was even silent on Monday. Guess we were burning too brightly too soon too fast. Sigh.
Anyways, he was apparently avoiding me. But he was answering our group emails. My friends were teasing me mercilessly about my crush on him. Yes, it was written in the emails that were also sent to #1 Crush.
I assumed he was ticked off by the teasings. Or he could be skittish because he has a boyfriend and he did not need that kind of gossip milling about. So that was why I leapt to the conclusion that he was bothered by it and he was avoiding me.
I asked him why he was quiet. It took a while but he finally replied and he said that he had nothing to say to me. I guess I was right. My fairy tale had come to an end. Or so I think. I was upset. It did not help that my mom was making my life hell when I went back to my hometown during the weekend. Sigh.
I finally decided to ask him upfront. Was he really bothered by the teasing? He said he did not mind. He said he was simply busy. I did not believe him. It had to bother him to be teased for something like this. I am no prize, I know that. He, on the other hand, is a great catch. Sigh, yet again.
I decided to kinda leave him alone after that. And I so did not guilt trip him at all. However, the next day, he started messaging me like evevrything was fine and nothing had happened. In fact, he asked me out. Okay, technically he did not. We were talking about breaking fast. He wanted some sushi and I asked him whether he was he preferred Sushi King or Genki Sushi. He said he doesn't know but he goes to Genki more often. I said I haven't had Genki and he should take me there some time. He agreed. He said he was breaking fast with some friends that night (yesterday nite) so he wanted to take me out tonite!
Yes, that's right. I am seeing him for dinner tonight! Yay! Wish me luck! :)
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