This Year's Girl

Yup, crush on #1 Crush not lessening, even after four days of not being in touch. When I say ‘in touch’, I mean chatting on YM or email. Yes, we haven’t formally exchanged numbers. I don’t want to rush into it. I wanna take it slow. He is actually taken AKA has a boyfriend. I don’t wanna wreck a disco (as opposed to a masjid for the normal straight Muslim couple) and I am not even sure if he feels anything for me.

Early Monday morning, as soon as I sat myself down at the office cubicle and turned on my YM, his message window immediately popped up, scaring the snot out of me. He said that I’d been so quiet lately and he asked me what was up.

The last we chatted was on Wednesday, last week. He had been asking to read my blog. Not this one. The other one. I had told him that I was revamping the blog and it would not be ready until later. He pouted and kept asking for it. I did not wanna reveal my sexploits that way to him. That’s what deathbeds are for! I wanna have something special with this one, even though that might not happen and toning down the crazy is the way to go.

Anyways, he asked me one final time before he abruptly logged off and went home. Did not like how that ended. What if that was the last time we’d ever spoken and we left it hanging like that? Not acceptable. He did not even chat with me on Thursday, even though I sent him a message. Sigh. I did not think he’d be this petulant. This is why I need to shy away from the younger ones. Lucky for me, my friends and I have a Merdeka BBQ that night so I took the afternoon off to go make food and prepare stuff. I was kinda busy and forced myself to be busy coz when I stopped for one second, my mind would wander back to #1 Crush and I’d remember the last thing we did – me denying his repeated requests for my blog, and him abruptly logging off – and I did not like it.

So when he messaged me Monday morning and said that, I did not really know what to think. I guess he was not really bothered by me not giving my blog and that he was not really petulant after all. He was probably just busy that day. Phew.

We were chatting up a storm on YM. I have nothing to do at work so I could chat my fingers off. He has work to do but he insisted that he could still chat. As long as he doesn’t get into trouble… so after a while of chatting, I asked him out. For dinner. I know, I know. He’s taken but we could just go out in the capacity of friends. Or not. Whichever one works.

He turned me down again. Yes, I’ve asked before. Persistent bugger, that is me. I know he had to go do something with his car Monday night so he could not have dinner with me. He said his Tuesday night was also full. I was beginning to sense a rejection coming so I stopped asking directly and went with another approach. I just asked him if he’d passed by Midvalley or Times Square during his commute. He said he did not and he did not like to go into KL to brave the traffic. He also mentioned that his nights were mostly spent with his straight friends.

Great. Another rejection. So I just told him to not mind me and just continue to chat about something else. But then, he said that he’s free Wednesday. The boyfriend’s working nights so he could go out and enjoy himself. Did he just ask me out on Wednesday? I think he did.

Before I squeal like a high school girl just asked to the prom, I asked him the venue. Stumper. We did not know how to meet up. Sigh. There goes the date. He then just volunteered to take the train to Times Square since everywhere else is a lot harder. I told him to not do that because it’s troublesome for him but he insisted. Made a girl feel special…

But then, I got a very good idea. I could take the train to where he’s staying and then he’d pick me up and we could go to a hypermarket nearby where there’d be restaurants. He concurred. But he said “OK lor…”

Dude, if you don’t want to, just say so. I maybe head over heels in love with you, I don’t need and/or want pity date. But he insisted that he wanted it. Really. Okay. Girl goes to prom scream time. *gurly shriek*

Someone finger me coz I think I am dreaming. No, not three fingers. One’s fine. Thank you. Dear God, is this really happening? I know I should take it easy and not overreact and really have to work on not thinking too much into it. But I can’t help it. If I were in his shoes, I’d never go out with me. At least not without a group setting. Definitely not one-on-one. Yup, I know he knows I fancy him. My friends were sooooo not subtle when they were teasing me about my crush, right in front of him and #1 Crush is definitely not dumb. Just young and full of cum… heheheh…

Cannot wait for Wednesday night. God, I hope I don’t stutter… Wish me luck!!