Amends

I am okay. Seriously. Not as broken up about it as I thought I would be. I mean, I did have the whole ‘Why Me?’ heaving and crying thing. For one night only. Cue Teddy, I mean, Jennifer Hudson.

Thanks to all the well-wishers: Froggie, Paul, Alvin, Prof Karen Walker, Musang, Teddy and countless other friends for being there for me and attempted to make me feel better. I think my doing better also has something to do with the fact that I have a job now. I am pretty busy at work. So I guess my wandering mind doesn’t really have the time to um, wander.

I am avoiding Heartbreak Divas such as Sarah McLachlan, Toni Braxton, Alison Krauss etc and listening to angsty stuff from Kelly Clarkson, hippity-hop stuff from them Pussycat Dolls and mellow stuff from Carrie Underwood. Oh, not forgetting Avril. My phone used to have Alicia’s If I Ain’t Got You, PCD’s Stickwitu and a bunch of other sickly sweet love songs. But now that I am not in that situation, I don’t need to be reminded of what I’ve lost.

Speaking of songs, have you guys heard the new Kelly Clarkson? It is fantabulous. Speaks to my soul. Although I am not that angry but Never Again does make me feel empowered and better. It’s in the sidebar btw, the first song, if you guys are interested to listen to it.

Did you guys know that Kelly was dumped by some music exec back before Breakaway was released? I just found out. No wonder girlfriend’s album was so raw and angsty and pissed. Apparently, she is still pissed. Listen to Never Again and you’ll know what I mean. I hope I won’t be like that, carrying around a grudge and anger for years. I have gotten over some of my more painful breakups and I know I’ll survive this one as well.

Ooh, the new Maroon 5 is also nice, and some of the lyrics are kinda fitting for me to. Some. They were not that good live on the American Idol result show. Speaking of, anyone caught Elliot Yamin live? He is so cute but I prefer him without the shag carpet on his head. He sounds good but that song is a little too familiar though. Ooh, Melinda Doolittle got canned from Idol just one week before the finale! Dammit! I love her! She’s good and consistent! She IS the American Idol! Let’s face it, Blake is cute but he can’t really pull off singing a song normally coz he’d sound generic.

What do people call the thing that he does? Bebop? I shall call it Bebop. Bebopping that Bon Jovi song was great. I have it as my SMS tone. Hehehhe. But other than that, if he doesn’t pull a Bebop thingy… yawwwwnnn. Jordin, I like. She’s quite good. I love her singing ‘I Who Have Nothing’. I wanted girl on girl action. The last time this happened was when Diana Degarmo took on Fantasia. I hope she wins. Jordin I mean, now that my girl Ms Doo-A-Lot is out.

P/S – ESS will now be referred to as The Ex. He asked me to stay friends forever but he’s developed this cold front/wall around him to insulate or distance himself from me. Sigh.

Lover's Walk

Someone commented to me that I am a problem magnet. My life can never be completely problem-free. I completely agree. When I had guy problems, work was fine. Then when I had a boyfriend, work was like hell on hell. Then I was 'let go' from the company and suffered two problems - unemployment and no money. But I got my guy by my side and I was happy. Kinda.

Then, I got meself a job. Well, whaddayaknow, I got dumped. That's right, ladies and ladies, ESS, my beloved platonic boyfriend has left me. For reasons I am inclined to not tell since I've had enough discussing about it with him. He seems to think it's for the best. We're back to square one now. Being friends. Maybe we were never meant to be lovers, especially since one partner did not find the other attractive. Sigh.

Anyways, I guess everybody who thought this was a disaster waiting to happen got it right. Thank God there was no monetary wager, otherwise I'd lose.

I tried so hard to make it work. I've never tried this hard before. But I failed. It's all my fault actually. I tried to get him to commit to me. And not seek out other guys. It's okay for sex, but not for love. He could not commit to me. Maybe I am too controlling? Too pathetic? Too needy? Too bossy? Gives too much? Not fat enough? Not fair enough? About a million other things that I am not to him. I could not even make him happy coz it was apparent that he had been unhappy these past couple of months.

I miss him. He doesn't miss me. He said that he is over me. Over love. Over it all. He is so Katharine McPhee. Well, I am Avril. I had thought long and hard about what song that would definitely capture my state of mind right now. Of course perennial fave Siti Nurhaliza came to mind but her songs are too sad. I am sad sure, but not that sad. Kelly Clarkson maybe? She's too edgy and kinda righteously angry. Since You Been Gone? So not me. Avril's My Happy Ending. Not too sappy, not too sad, not too angry. Acceptance. Saw it coming. Not blaming. Still in love. Know there's no happy ending. Sigh. Here's to us, ESS! And here's to you finding what you're looking for...

Let's talk this over
It's not like we're dead
Was it something I did?
Was it something you said?
Don't leave me hanging
In a city so dead
Held up so high
On such a breakable thread

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

It's nice to know that you were there
Thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done

Band Candy

I still haven’t heard anything from those three interviews. I am assuming the worst, except for that one interview with C*sm*p*int. Apparently, they are looking for a Communications Manager first, then only they’d hire the execs. These things take time so I think I’m still in the running to become America’s Next Top Model. Oops, wrong script. I am still in the running to be hired.

Next week, I have two interviews lined up. One in KL and the other in Penang. The one in KL is for Technical Writer. The office is somewhere near KLCC which is great because there’s an LRT station nearby. The one in Penang is for Research Assistant. Monday is KL interview and Friday is Penang interview.

I would be leaving for Penang on Thursday, stay in a hotel for the night, attend the interview next morning and get on a bus back to KL in the afternoon. Of course, if the KL people want to hire me, then I won’t even attend the Penang interview. I am not a big fan of relocation. Much.

What’s that I hear? L*m*t? What about L*m*t? Is it nearby? Like it was near K*ngs*r? I guess it is near, relatively speaking. What’s that? I could go meet ESS while I am up north? Yeah, I guess I could. I’ve told ESS about it but he doesn’t think it’s possible. He has a thing or might have a thing. I am not sure which one but he seems to think that there’s a possibility that I might be there and not be able to meet him. So I am putting the kibosh on that plan. And, no, Prof Karen Walker, I am not going to the Penang interview just so that I’d have a chance to go see ESS.

Not like it matters anyway. He’s quite a busy man these days. Too busy to communicate. Sometimes I feel like a single girl. Sigh. It’s the price you pay for having a long distance relationship. A fragile one at that, where another man could just sweep him off his feet and away from me in a blink of an eye. ESS is quite the looker and apparently the charmer as well. Sigh. What? Do I think he has somebody already and he doesn’t need me anymore? No I did not think that. Now I do. Dammit. My imagination is my own worst enemy. Shut up Imagination! I am sure he’s faithful (in the boyfriend/relationship sense, and not in the sexual sense, coz we are in an open relationship) and not looking for a better boyfriend to replace unworthy, ugly me.

Trust is key. When I do get to talk to him, he has not told me to take my love and shove it. What? Do I think he has someone already but is not telling me about him? Dammit Imagination! Did you have to call your cousin, Paranoia, and fill my head with crazy things? Shut up! Just shut up! Oooh, just like my favorite Black Eyed Peas song. Shut up, just shut up, shut up.

Dead Man's Party

I had a very interesting weekend. Went on a road trip. Bonded with Teddy. Had a relevation about something close to my heart. Fun, fun, fun. Except for the revelation part. That got me stumped to no end. Sigh.

We went to Teddy’s hometown because he had some business to take care off. I was a little hesitant because I was gonna meet Teddy’s mom. I am usually not really good with someone older. I don’t know how to act around them I guess.

But my fears were unfounded. Teddy’s mom rocks! I love her. I wish my own mom was like her. Cool and fun, but still very mom-like. They were like best friends, Teddy and his mom. I was like that with me own mom, before I upped and left for America. Now, she has chosen my brother as her favorite son and she just uses me as target practice for her killer scathing remarks. Sigh.

Anyways, it was fun and I don't think I've ever been to Ku*la K*ngs*r before. The drive back was an eye-opener. Teddy confessed that he is not good with the long distance driving and he kept saying that he was sleepy. I was supposed to drive in his place but there was no rest stop for miles. We played 20 Questions and Sharing Secrets to keep him awake. Interesting info but I was sworn, at knife point, to never repeat any of it. Ever. It was a nice road trip. Not at all Thelma & Louise. More Romy & Michelle.

ESS was quiet that day. Apparently, he played video games until 6 in the morning and slept the whole day. Sigh. Oh, and he also told me that he's not coming to KL any time soon. Financial stuff. If only I have money and a job, I could have gone to L*m*t, if he wants me to. But I don't have money at the moment. I hope we are strong enough to survive this long-distance-not-seeing-each-other-at-all, especially since I am sensing thunder rumbling in the distance.

Anne

ESS has told me yesterday that he could not swing by KL next weekend because there is a N*vy Open Day something so he has to stay in L*m*t and work. Dammit. Was so looking forward to spending time with him. He could not come this weekend also because it's too soon a notice. What's a girl to do? :(

I am going on a road trip tomorrow with Teddy to Kuala K*ngs*r. Teddy has a thing and he needed someone to go with him. Yay! Road trip! I love road trips!

And I thought since I would be in the general area of Perak, I'd get to see ESS. Two birds. One stone. However, Teddy mentioned that it's about one hour's journey to KK from L*m*t. And as pointed out by ESS, I was insane to assume that he would wanna ride a bike and risk breaking his back just to meet me there. I am not L'oreal. I am not worth it.

Oh well, guess I am not gonna get to see my man until next month then. Sigh.

Becoming Part 2

After my interview, I went to Times Square to meet up with a guy. He had traveled from Melaka to spend a few days with me. With ‘permission’ from ESS of course.

I had known this guy for a year now. He finally asked if he could come to KL to meet up with me. It’s not like I have anything or anyone better to do so I agreed to play hostess.

It had been raining pussies and bitches when I got done with my interview. I was soaking wet when I arrived in Times Square. But I was not worried. It’s not like I really need to impress Melaka Guy or anything. My heart belonged to another. Yes, Melaka Guy was told of ESS’ existence. Melaka Guy also has a husband. And a boyfriend. Yup, two of them. Now, before I continue and before people pass judgment and think that we are just two cheating scums, let me remind people that I am in an open relationship and ESS has said that he did not mind. I don’t know about Melaka Guy’s guys though. Hmmm.

While we were there, we decided to catch The Reaping. Pretty good. Hilary Swank was kinda channeling Jennifer Garner’s Sydney Bristow at times. I think the movie’s twist was the thing that saved it from slight mediocrity.

Anyways, he kept insisting, before we actually met, that this is just a social visit. A friendly visit. He just wanted to finally meet up after one year of online acquaintancing. So, guess who made the first move when we went in the cinema? No! Not me! It was him. But when I wanted to reciprocate, he pushed my hands away. Tease much?

When we got back to my place, he kept his distance. So I figured he was honoring what he said and he had a lapse of judgment in the cinema, for about 5 minutes. I think he tried his hardest to not fall for my charm and sexiness (yeah, right) but he failed. Actually, I did not even think he had a thing for me as I am not a sexy beast. Even when he kept saying how much he is into my body and stuff, I still thought he was pulling my leg. All because he said that he did not wanna fool around.

Yeah. Right. Most of what he said can be thrown out the window. Like the whole not wanting to fool around thing. And not kissing anyone who he just met. Also not bottoming for anyone else except for the husband. *wink, wink*

He’s the only guy that has seen all aspect of my life. My good friends. My work friends. My bad singing. My mediocre bowling. My liking shoot-em-up arcades. My cooking. My competitiveness when it comes to boardgames. My movies. My DOA gaming. Okay, okay, except for family and blogging. He wanted to read this blog but I did not give him the URL. He’s already been exposed to so much. Not even ESS has been exposed to all that. ESS has the blog though so I want ESS alone to have that.

One thing that kinda ticked me off was the presumptuousness of him. No, he’s not arrogant. Only a little bit. Especially when it comes to feelings. He seemed to think that I was jealous when he was speaking to my friend. Oh come on. I so was not jealous. At all. I am far prettier. I am not worried about losing him to that friend. Heheheh.

He told me that he knows that I was jealous. I so did not want to burst his bubble. I let him think that. If he were ESS, that friend would have been admitted to the emergency ward on account of multiple scratches and loss of hair and scalp.

We’re just friends, who happened to be flirty and got jiggy with it. I am not really one to fall so easily, unless it’s ESS. Hehehehe. Also, I have ESS already. Come on! Sigh.

Speaking of, ESS basically left me alone all weekend long. So as to not disturb my romantic weekend. Romantic my ass. I am off the market. This grade-A sirloin is not for sale anymore.

I was a little sad and frustrated. It seemed like ESS did not even care that I was spending that much intimate time with the guy. Who knows what could happen eh? If the shoes were on the other feet, I would have interrupted them many, many times, just to remind him that he has a loving boyfriend and that he should just get it on, instead of getting lovey dovey.

That being said, I have to confess that I like the guy. I like the fact that I could take him to hang out with my friends without the world ending. I like the fact that he is not opposed to a civil union. I also like the guy was not exactly shy when showing his affections for me in public, discreetly of course, and in front of my friends. Some of my friends actually thought that ESS and I were history and that Melaka Guy was my new boyfriend. WTF?!

I also confess that I kinda told the guy that I like him. Of course, this was after the guy told me he liked me. Do I love him? No. I love ESS. Care? I guess I do care about him a little. But do I want a ring from him? Nope. Do I foresee anything more than just friends with benefits? No. He did say he doesn’t mind that my friends thought of him as my boyfriend. I mind. My boyfriend is in L*m*t. End of story.

I Only Have Eyes For You

Second interview went quite well. This post is an editorial assistant post and sounded like something I am very interested in. However, they cannot match my current salary. I'll know by tomorrow if I am shortlisted or not.

My nephew is okay. He's not hospitalized. So I am going for that Cosmop*int interview but I have to call them first to find out exactly what job I am being interviewed for. I did the resume drop thingy at the recent career fair and they called me but did not specify a job. Hmmm.

ESS is being a little too quiet these days. He claims he's busy with stuff. I am remembering my (silent) promise to him and I'll behave and not question him too much. What? I can't change? :P

Out of pure boredom, I went to blogthings and did this quiz. I got a B!

Your Vocabulary Score: B

You have a zealous love for the English language, and many find your vocabulary edifying. Don't fret that you didn't get every word right, your vocabulary can be easily ameliorated!

How's Your Vocabulary?

Oooh, I was in Borders last weekend, waiting for ESS, and I grabbed a book and read it. It was very funny. I completely spaced on the title now but I do remember it's about funny quotes. Here's one:

A nun came to see her Mother Superior for a confession. "Forgive me, for I have sinned. Sin of the flesh. Father Thomas came to me last night and told me that I have the Gates of Heaven between my legs. He said that he has the Key to Heaven so he inserted it in." The Mother Superior screamed in response, "Bastard! He told me it was the Trumpet of Gabriel! I had been blowing on it all these years!"

Bewitched, Bothered, Bewildered

The weekend flew by so quickly. ESS is now in J*h*r with his family. We watched the movie Jangan Pandang Belakang, which was quite scary. However, the makers of the movie did not know a good thing when they see it and had to ruin the scare factor/eerie ambiance of the movie (read: loud noises, wooden acting, OTT make-up).

Something happened between ESS and I before we got to watch the movie. Nope, nothing naughty. Get your minds out of the gutter. The bus was late so he was also late. He arrived barely one hour before the movie. But that’s not the thing. I got a message from him, asking whether it was okay for his ‘friend’ to hang out with us.

I threw a hissy fit. No, it’s not okay for his ‘friend’ to join us. I hardly get to see ESS. Now that he is coming to town, I gotta share him with some hussy? Don’t think so. Just as I was about to go into complete Drama Mama mode, it hit me. I realized that I had been a selfish prick. Of course ESS had other ‘friends’ and he’d wanna meet them. He’s been coming over to see me only these past few times.

So I told him to go ahead and meet the guy and to come on back to my place after they were done. Of course, my heart was aching when I told him that but what’s a gurl to do? I won’t be the boyfriend who keeps his man on a leash, not letting him see anyone. Plus, we’re in an open relationship. He should be free to meet and do anyone he wants.

The thing that made me threw a hissy fit and had a heart aneurysm was that we had planned this earlier. Then, he thought he’d include an outsider into our date. That stings a bit. If we had not planned anything yet, I would not have minded as much. It would hurt, but not as bad.

In the end, ESS did not go through with the meet-up. He said he did not tell the other bitch, I mean, guy, about our plans. The guy asked him what his plans was and ESS immediately sought my approval. Which I gave but I told him to count me out. He said he’s not gonna do that. I insisted but he insisted that he’s on his way to Times Square to meet me. Alone.

When he arrived, ESS was baffled when I was in a bit of a sour mode. I had an epiphany. Again. God, I am so Season Six Buffy. Anyways, I was not as important as the ‘friend’. Our date and time together was not quite special that he was considering letting his ‘friend’ hang with us. I was devastated. I guess I have a long ways to go before I am #1 in his heart. Sigh.

But I got over it eventually. He came alone to Times Square. He did not invite the ‘friend’ to hang with us in the end. However, he did not wear our wedding band. Talk about adding salt to injury. I took mine off coz he was not wearing his. He demanded that I gave him the ring to wear in place of his ring because he totally spaced in the midst of the chaos that was last minute packing.

But I gotta say this though. Nothing changed between us. At least for my part. Still sticking with him, still loving him no matter what. Got to work harder I guess to finally reign supreme as #1 in his heart. I hope I would be blessed with inspirations as to how I could achieve this.

Phases

I am in Times Square right now, waiting fr ESS to show. We're going to watch Jangan Pandang Belakang. It's been like a tradition or a must for us to meet up and watch a Malay horror movie. Our first date, we watched Puaka Tebing Biru, then we caught Chermin. Now, it's Jangan Pandang Belakang.

ESS is in town only for the night. He is stopping by on his way back to his hometown for his brother's engagement or wedding or something that I totally spaced right about now. So sad, only getting to see him for one night. *turns on Jennifer Hudson mode* "One night only... one night only... that's all we have..." I so can't pull of that afro/helmet thingy that she was sportin'. Sigh.

Anyways, I asked ESS several times about that thing that he wrote, which I thought was dedicated to me but now I am not so sure coz it could be directed to anyone. He is totally non-committal and gave me the run-around. There are a few things I think is happening here.

If he did write that with me in mind, then yay! But what's with the cryptic and utter refusal to answer me straight? Although I understood why he could not answer straight, it's coz he is gay, muahahahhaha. Anyways, methinks someone's having the case of the nerves and don't really wanna commit, or at least verbalize the commitment because he'd been hurt before (and subsequently blamed for the failed relationship). Either that, or he has the ego the size of One Utama and would never admit his feelings before the other person admits it first. Hmmm. I think it's the latter. Classic chaser syndrome.

If he did not write it with me in mind, then I am in deep shit. I've already emotionally invested in this relationship. Not too mention monetary. Oh. My. God. Do you know how much our combined total phone bill came up to last month? Jennifer Lopez was totally lying. Love does cost. (Thanks to Teddy from teddytales) for the pop culture reference).

Oh well. I am not gonna let this bother me. Nor the ominous prediction/dire warning that I received from Prof Karen Walker (which kinda bothered ESS and I think he got a bit upset, the poor guy). I am sticking to my man no matter what. Or at least until he finds The One that he is seeking (or he already has, judging from the criptic post) and drops me like a ton of bricks. Hence his ringtone is now Stickwitu by the awesome Pussycat Dolls.

"Nobody's gonna love me better, I must stick wit u forever. Nobody's gonna take me higher. I must stick wit u. You know how to appreciate me, I must stick wit u my baby. Nobody ever make me feel this way, I must stick wit u."

P/S - Somehow, the vision of me wearing tight, ripped clothing with animal prints seemed so wrong also. Hmm, is there anything I could rock? Sigh.

Innocence

Anybody watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer would know of one Riley Finn. Buffy's second boyfriend. Her first boyfriend (and true love) was Angel, the vampire with a soul. Angel left her and headed for Los Angeles after the battle with the Mayor of Sunnydale (who had turned into a huge demon snake thingy) because he wanted her to have a chance at a normal life (and also for him to headline his own television series).

After that, in Season 4, Buffy kinda sorta fell for Riley Finn, the corn-fed Iowa boy who seemed to be a nice, normal TA. He was, however, part of a covert government ops to capture and study demons.

After a tumultuous courting, complete with blood, gore, fighting, drug addiction, danger addiction and ego bruising, Riley left Buffy and went back to his military roots. Buffy never saw it coming. To her, Riley was safe. Riley could not hurt her like Angel did. To Riley, he never actually had Buffy. Mostly because Buffy tended to go for the dark and brooding. He would always second guess Buffy's attraction for him. At one point, he even refused to get treatment for the drugs in his system (unknowingly taking them via food, laced by the military) because he was afraid that Buffy would leave him once he reverts to being a Regular Joe.

Sounds familiar? OMG. When have I become a Riley? I want to be a Slayer, or a self-absorbed witch. Hell, I'll take a werewolf any day over Riley Finn, Captain Cardboard. But in this situation, I am Riley. ESS is Buffy. Sigh.

I am the one who constantly ask that question. Why is he with me when I know I am not his type? Would he still love me if I change? Would today be the day some other chubs would sweep him off his feet?

Yup, much like Riley. His fears of losing Buffy was monumental. When Dracula came to town and put the moves on Buffy, he took it hard and took it personally. So did I. When someone from the Merlion City came to town and put the moves on him. Sigh.

Anyways, I promise to be less paranoid and cut ESS (who shall forever be known as Buffy to my Riley) some slack. ESS wrote this thing and I kinda read it. If I read it right and he did write it with me in mind, then I really got to treat him right and stop being paranoid and accusing him of things that he had not done yet. Even if that was not meant for me, I'd still try to be a better boyfriend.

P/S - Happy One Month Anniversary ESS! Or should I say 1st Monthiversary! Hopefully there will be more monthiversaries to come!

PP/S - I know it's dumb to celebrate monthiversary but if you know how hard it was to get this relationship off the ground, all the drama, the heartaches and headaches that we had to go through, then you'd understand. *cough* prof karen walker *cough*

Bad Eggs

I had a post all written out but the USB connector for this PC at the cybercafe is broken. Literally. It's like someone crushed it with a hammer. Dammit. Now I have to come up with something completely fresh. There was a bit of a drama/trouble in paradise which would explain the Siti Nurhaliza song posted in the last post. Hehehe. Yes, I am overly dramatic. And yes, that song is dedicated to a certain someone.

Anyways, I wanna talk about the weekend. I hung out with two new people. One is apparently a very famous bear type guy from the Merlion Country and the other is not so famous chub from Kuala S*lang*r. Both are friends of Prof Karen Walker.

We went to Baskin Robbins because it was the 31st of the month and Baskins has the 31% discount every 31st of the month. So we made our way to the Baskins in Queen's Park where we pigged out. After that, we went to Ampang Point for a bit of bowling, which I had not done in quite some time. Then, we went to MBO to catch Pan's Labyrinth.

Now, on to the newbies. Merlion Bear was not too bad. Quite a nice guy. Except for the fact that he is jonesing for some hot action with ESS. A fact that he did not bother to disguise at all. Which irks me to no end. Just coz we're in an open relationship and that we could do anyone we want, doesn't make it less painful to know. A little tact could have been nice. Sigh.

The other guy, well, I dunno where to begin. Gotta be careful what I say about him coz he's Prof Karen Walker's scandal. Hehehe. I finally got a chance to see Karen in action, complete with suave charm. No wonder he's called the Heartbreaker. Mariah much?

Anyways, I could tell that this guy was totally in love with Karen. The fact that Karen failed to notice and piled on the charm. Usually he'd notice things about other people but this time, when it comes to his own thing, he is surprisingly slow to see it coming.

Lessee, the guy was so fucking annoying that I had to refrain myself from actually kicking him in the face. But since I did not really get a chance to talk with him much, so it was not a big deal. Mostly coz I was SMSing ESS. Hehhehe. Suddenly, we got talking about talk shows and Oprah and then Tyra and naturally move onto America's Next Top Model topic.

Of course I follow ANTM. I love em bitchy antics. He too watches and he blurts out the name of the winner of Cycle 6. I know, so not the drama coz Cycle 6 is not the current season. But I am not blessed with high speed Internet to download and I don't have frens who download ANTM. I avoid spoilers coz Cycle 6 is showing on Channel V.

Maybe he did not mean to blurt it out. I told him that he had effectively ruined my Monday nights. He did not get it and told me who was in the final two. That stupid son of a... WTF?! This is so reminiscent of The Apprentice that one time. I was watching the finale to see who's gonna win. There was like half an hour left of the finale when my friend told me that the black guy had won. I was royally pissed. I wasted my night watching that. Not too mention my life. I could have just got on the Net and find out. But I like the anticipation and the nerve-wrecking tension. *^*&^%&

Don't even get me started on his attitude. Not that I am the nicest person or anything. But at least I don't go around making snide remarks about everything. It was turning me off majorly. Hey, I'm all about living it up and having nice things and all, but sometimes you just gotta slum it. Sheesh. Hopefully this guy won't repeat these 'offences' the next time he is in town. And hopefully Karen would be able to teach him how to live in the world amongst people, in between making out of course. Muahahahha.

By the way, Karen has this idea in his head that me and ESS has done the deed. Which we had not. We were in Tesco and I mentioned that the boxers on display looked exactly like ESS' boxers. He seemed to think that one of us is lying about the not sleeping together thingy. We sleep in boxers and we walked around at home in our boxers. That is how I know what color his boxers are. Not from some other activity. :P

What's My Line, Part 1

Yesterday, I was called for an interview. I was quite ecstatic. However, when I got to the office, they said that it was not actually an interview. But more of a getting to know session. If I had known, I would not have bothered to dress up. Kidding.

So basically they wanted to get to know me. They were asking me questions like "Do you karaoke?" and "Do you listen to the radio?" which threw me off a little bit. Eventually, they explained the significance of the questions. Boy, do they got the right gurl. I am Mdm Karaoke Extraordinaire. Just finished a session with ESS on Saturday. Voice was still hoarse and raspy.

They felt I was already qualified, or over qualified and they wanted to see me personally. The actual formal interview would be mid-April, complete with tests. God, I hate these tests. There's no studying for it beforehand. You either know how to answer em (aka bluff) or you don't. But they did give me tips already on the tests and the interview. Hmm, good omen? Wish me luck.

ESS is back in L*m*t and he is not feeling well. A bit of fever, cough and cold. I think it's coz we were in the rain for a bit on Saturday. He thinks it's coz his body is readjusting to the straight way of life, instead of the faggy goodness of the weekend. Methinks he misses me. But then, that might be too much of a wishy-washy schmaltzy wishful thinking on my part. Sigh.

The Dark Age

Other than one minor detail that is pissing me off to no end, the weekend was great! Despite the fact that I am jobless. Obviously. Anyways, the Emotional Support Spouse (new name for Navy Guy, fitting ain't it?) was in town since Friday night.

We met in Times Square and had dinner at Johnny's Steamboat, which was our first date restaurant. Okay, maybe not the actual first date. Our actual first date was... man, it's complicated. Anyways, I'm making an executive decision and call Johnny's as our first dinner/date. So it was fitting that we went to Johnny's for our first time out as a betrothed couple.

Then we saw Chermin, featuring Deanna Yusuf in her first role in like 10 years or so. It was kinda okay, not really as scary as the other horror movies. Maybe coz the scare factor in the movie is gorgeous Deanna. So not the scary. But quite a good movie. Hmm, methinks it's a trend now for us. Always watching horror movies. Malay horror movies. Am not complaining. Now I got me a buddy to watch em with! Yay!

Any event, we went for a karaoke session in Imbi the next day, where he forced me to sing in high Ning Baizura notes (which attributed to my sore throat and raspy voice today). We also went clubbing Saturday Night at Nuskool in Melia Hotel. These also seem to be the trend with us.

Okay, now for the nitty gritty. The first night we spent as a betrothed couple. Get your minds out of the gutter, people! Remember, open relationship with no sex here. I found out quite a few things about ESS:

1. He kicks in his sleep. My feet. The foot of the bed. Teddy's DVDs. Oops, sorry Teddy. They're still good. Swear to God.

2. He crosses his legs in his sleep. Like me. I have been told by people that I do that in my sleep and ESS does that too.

3. He is a cuddly sleeper. He likes to cuddle. I was pleasantly surprised. He fell asleep before I did. He was snoring away like there was no tomorrow. I moved closer to him and rested one shoulder onto his shoulder. For a while. When I moved away to be on my side, he jumped across the gap between us and landed half his body on top of mine. He did that the whole night! Swear to God! As soon as I try to adjust my body to the weight on top of me (so that blood could circulate), he gave room a bit for me. When I started to shift my position, a foot would come flying to me. Or his arm. Or his butt. Yup, you read right. A few times he smacked me with his butt. Speaking of which, something naughty happened during this time also. I was quite shocked. Quite taken back. Quite turned on. It was so unexpected. So nice. So weird. Coz ESS was sleeping soundly. I think he was dreaming of that cute daddy at the bowling alley in Times Square. Heck, I am not complaining. Hehehhe. (p/s - if ESS asks any of you, tell him I said nothing about this and hopefully he won't understand what I've written coz he warned me not to tell anyone. I am not telling yeah? Just hinting but I know most of you can guess what happened. Yum-my)

4. He is hot. Am not saying this just coz he might be reading or to appease him. It's a fact. A lot of people told me that he is very good looking. Um, this next statement might sound a little shallow... I bagged me a pretty one! Yay! Does this mean I am pretty too? Hmm, I don't think so. Oh, crap. Now I wonder why he is with me. Such ugliness as opposed to his prettiness. Everyone, from girls to guys to fags to slims to chubs, they all lusted after him. Makan hati mak tau! Huhuhu. Guess that's the price you pay when you marry someone a hell lot hotter than you. Sigh. I don't wanna flaunt the relationship and the matching rings that we're wearing (yup, I got us some bling. Okay, cheap bling. Okay, so not the bling. Temporary rings. Not silver with a rock embedded in it. I am unemployed! Cut me some slack), but people are just flirting with him left and right. I had half a mind to leave the club and just go home but I stuck it out in the end. Sigh.

5. He is quite adventurous when it comes to food, unlike some Malays I know. He can eat at all my favorite restaurants and likes whatever I put into his mouth. Food. Beverage. Not that thing... oh forget it...

6. He loves me. Or at least I think he does. I hope he does. People were throwing themselves at him but in the end, he comes back to me. Of course, when he's back at work in L*m*t, I would never know what or who he does. But then again, I also have my fair share of sexcapades here in KL yeah? Hehhehe.