Sunday, September 23, 2007

New Moon Rising

Amidst all these talk of crushes and dates and work and stuff, I finally realized that one significant date is just around the corner. The Ex’s birthday. Yup, I am going down memory lane.

My niece’s birthday falls in September also and I had planned to take her (and her brother and my sister) to Sunway Lagoon. So since The Ex’s birthday falls a week before hers, I thought I could take him with, thus introducing him to my family.

However, since it is Ramadan, that plan got scrapped and I’d take them out in October. Unfortunately, we broke up so all that plan went to the big hole in the sky.

Even though we had known each other for a short time and we were officially together for an even shorter time period, it felt like a lifetime.

Happy Birthday. May you mature as you age and may you be happy with whoever it is that you are with. Hope you find whatever it is that was lacking in me…

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Where the Wild Things are

I have been pretty busy lately. With friends, with work, with guys, hehehehe. I had another post lined up after the previous post but it took me quite a while to finish writing it.

There had been so much happening between me and #1 Crush that I could not really pinpoint anything into a post.

Anyways, he suddenly grew a cold front on me. Starting Friday. Had to suffer to some serious silence that day. The weekend was also unbearable. He was even silent on Monday. Guess we were burning too brightly too soon too fast. Sigh.

Anyways, he was apparently avoiding me. But he was answering our group emails. My friends were teasing me mercilessly about my crush on him. Yes, it was written in the emails that were also sent to #1 Crush.

I assumed he was ticked off by the teasings. Or he could be skittish because he has a boyfriend and he did not need that kind of gossip milling about. So that was why I leapt to the conclusion that he was bothered by it and he was avoiding me.

I asked him why he was quiet. It took a while but he finally replied and he said that he had nothing to say to me. I guess I was right. My fairy tale had come to an end. Or so I think. I was upset. It did not help that my mom was making my life hell when I went back to my hometown during the weekend. Sigh.

I finally decided to ask him upfront. Was he really bothered by the teasing? He said he did not mind. He said he was simply busy. I did not believe him. It had to bother him to be teased for something like this. I am no prize, I know that. He, on the other hand, is a great catch. Sigh, yet again.

I decided to kinda leave him alone after that. And I so did not guilt trip him at all. However, the next day, he started messaging me like evevrything was fine and nothing had happened. In fact, he asked me out. Okay, technically he did not. We were talking about breaking fast. He wanted some sushi and I asked him whether he was he preferred Sushi King or Genki Sushi. He said he doesn't know but he goes to Genki more often. I said I haven't had Genki and he should take me there some time. He agreed. He said he was breaking fast with some friends that night (yesterday nite) so he wanted to take me out tonite!

Yes, that's right. I am seeing him for dinner tonight! Yay! Wish me luck! :)

Monday, September 10, 2007


And now, for the bad stuff… see, I am of looking at things from every angle and not just from a peachy keen, lovey dovey manner…

Everything was perfect. He was nice, funny, romantic, cute, handsome, adorable and he even paid for dinner. Which was wrong coz technically I was supposed to pay. I am the older one and I was the one that asked him out, not the other way around. Me likey…

He has a boyfriend. I do seem to attract the ones with boyfriends huh? Sigh.

I had always knew he had one but I guess it never really registered until I was on the date with him. I had asked him to go to a somewhat closer place and he said that his boyfriend works there and he really did not want us to be bumping into him. Which was a little weird to me because if we were going out in the capacity of ‘friends’, the boyfriend would have known about it and would not have minded if we bumped into him.

Anyways, he insisted so we went elsewhere. Then, during the drive back to my place, his phone rang but he did not pick up. He said it was someone from another country who kept bugging him. Then his phone rang again, this time a different ring tone. He did not pick up or even bother checking the phone.

I asked him about it and he dismissed it entirely and just said that it was the boyfriend. Another weird. It seemed like we were on an actual date and that the boyfriend had no idea what was going on. I like the first part of that sentence but the second part just made me out to be some sort of man-stealing tramp.

Ordinarily I don’t mind that coz I have played with many, many ‘married’ guys but this is a legitimate crush and I did not meet him when I (or him) was cruising for some action.

But then again, he said yes to the date. It’s not like he was forced into it. Right? Right?

Does this mean that this was an actual date? Especially with that SMS at the end of the night? Only time will tell I guess. Don’t wanna put my hopes up but I was all smiles the next day. Sigh…

Friday, September 7, 2007

Who Are You

So the date went smoothly. Not stuttering or anything. There were definite signs that this was not just a one sided thing. But I refuse to be optimistic. I have been burned before, for playing with custom-made Navy matches. This time, it’s heavy duty firestarter. Any small spark could cause a ripple effect and everything would be engulfed in flames.

Anyways, here are the blow-by-blow (not literally) account of the date. I stayed an extra hour in the office because we were supposed to meet at 8. I left by 7 because the air conditioning had been turned off, if not I’d stay longer. I SMSed #1 Crush and told him I was on my way.

I arrived at 7.40pm. I waited 10 minutes before I message him. He called me just before 8, saying that he was parked on the other side of the road. Dear God, I had forgotten how sexy his deep manly voice was. Sigh. With bats in my stomach, I made my way across the street. Had a serious case of hyperventilation.

We went to a fast food chain for dinner. He wanted to order food but ran it by me to see if I wanted to share it with him. Either it was the sweetest thing or he just doesn’t eat that much or he is used to sharing his food with people. Hmmm… anyways, we ordered chicken wings (which he had indicated he wanted to have since the afternoon), soup of the day (which he also wanted and kinda talked me into it as well), the seafood platter (which I really wanted but he did not because he just had an allergic reaction to something the day before and he is still recovering but he wolfed down half the plate anyways) and we had a pitcher of Pepsi (I asked for pitcher, he asked for Pepsi even though he don’t really drink carbonated stuff coz it gives him the hiccups).

We talked about everything and anything. Childhood stuff. Growing up stuff. My time in America. His life before we met. Did I mention he is soooo cute and have the cheekbones so high it could touch the sky? Sigh…

Anyways, whilst we did all the talking and chatting, there was also flirtatious banter going back and forth. Definitely Sex & The City territory. I blushed many, many times. Not that he could see it coz I am dark-skinned but I was blushing like crazy.

After dinner, we were at a loss of what to do next. He did not want to send me off just yet. I did not wanna go home either. So we drove around for a while, just talking and singing along to his mixed CD of sappy love songs by male vocalists. Well, he was singing. I was recording him using my phone. Did I mention that he has a nice sexy deep manly voice? He could be reading the phone book and I’d be all horny… heheheh…

Then, Endless Love came on and we did a duet. I was Diana Ross of course. Somehow I always ended up singing the female bits whenever there’s a duet. Anyways, I normally don’t sing in front of strangers but I went ahead and sang with him. Showed how comfortable I was with him. Okay, so I wanna have his babies, what’s the big?

Once we were near my area, I asked if he wanted to hang out more. He declined, citing that he had to go pick up someone. He promised that we’d go out again. I asked him to turn on the lights in the car so that I could take his picture. Yup, I’d been trying to snap him but the highway was dark. After I got a nice clear pic, I asked him to lean up to me and snap a pic of us together. After a handshake, he drove off and I walked back to my flat thus ending one of the nicest date I’ve ever had in all my 21 years of living… okay, okay… 25… fine, 29… good God, a lady is never supposed to reveal her age. Lucky I ain’t a lady eh…

Oh, about an hour later, he called me. However, I was in the other room and my phone was on silent mode so I did not hear the call. Since I did not pick up, he sent me an SMS.

“R u asleep already? Don’t masturbate to those pix k? Hehe. Good nite and thanx for the lovely nite. Sorry we did not get to go anywhere. There wasn’t enough time. We’ll do this again ok?”

O. M. G. O. D.

I’d only bother sending a follow up SMS if I really like the guy. I hope he sent the message coz he likes me…

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

This Year's Girl

Yup, crush on #1 Crush not lessening, even after four days of not being in touch. When I say ‘in touch’, I mean chatting on YM or email. Yes, we haven’t formally exchanged numbers. I don’t want to rush into it. I wanna take it slow. He is actually taken AKA has a boyfriend. I don’t wanna wreck a disco (as opposed to a masjid for the normal straight Muslim couple) and I am not even sure if he feels anything for me.

Early Monday morning, as soon as I sat myself down at the office cubicle and turned on my YM, his message window immediately popped up, scaring the snot out of me. He said that I’d been so quiet lately and he asked me what was up.

The last we chatted was on Wednesday, last week. He had been asking to read my blog. Not this one. The other one. I had told him that I was revamping the blog and it would not be ready until later. He pouted and kept asking for it. I did not wanna reveal my sexploits that way to him. That’s what deathbeds are for! I wanna have something special with this one, even though that might not happen and toning down the crazy is the way to go.

Anyways, he asked me one final time before he abruptly logged off and went home. Did not like how that ended. What if that was the last time we’d ever spoken and we left it hanging like that? Not acceptable. He did not even chat with me on Thursday, even though I sent him a message. Sigh. I did not think he’d be this petulant. This is why I need to shy away from the younger ones. Lucky for me, my friends and I have a Merdeka BBQ that night so I took the afternoon off to go make food and prepare stuff. I was kinda busy and forced myself to be busy coz when I stopped for one second, my mind would wander back to #1 Crush and I’d remember the last thing we did – me denying his repeated requests for my blog, and him abruptly logging off – and I did not like it.

So when he messaged me Monday morning and said that, I did not really know what to think. I guess he was not really bothered by me not giving my blog and that he was not really petulant after all. He was probably just busy that day. Phew.

We were chatting up a storm on YM. I have nothing to do at work so I could chat my fingers off. He has work to do but he insisted that he could still chat. As long as he doesn’t get into trouble… so after a while of chatting, I asked him out. For dinner. I know, I know. He’s taken but we could just go out in the capacity of friends. Or not. Whichever one works.

He turned me down again. Yes, I’ve asked before. Persistent bugger, that is me. I know he had to go do something with his car Monday night so he could not have dinner with me. He said his Tuesday night was also full. I was beginning to sense a rejection coming so I stopped asking directly and went with another approach. I just asked him if he’d passed by Midvalley or Times Square during his commute. He said he did not and he did not like to go into KL to brave the traffic. He also mentioned that his nights were mostly spent with his straight friends.

Great. Another rejection. So I just told him to not mind me and just continue to chat about something else. But then, he said that he’s free Wednesday. The boyfriend’s working nights so he could go out and enjoy himself. Did he just ask me out on Wednesday? I think he did.

Before I squeal like a high school girl just asked to the prom, I asked him the venue. Stumper. We did not know how to meet up. Sigh. There goes the date. He then just volunteered to take the train to Times Square since everywhere else is a lot harder. I told him to not do that because it’s troublesome for him but he insisted. Made a girl feel special…

But then, I got a very good idea. I could take the train to where he’s staying and then he’d pick me up and we could go to a hypermarket nearby where there’d be restaurants. He concurred. But he said “OK lor…”

Dude, if you don’t want to, just say so. I maybe head over heels in love with you, I don’t need and/or want pity date. But he insisted that he wanted it. Really. Okay. Girl goes to prom scream time. *gurly shriek*

Someone finger me coz I think I am dreaming. No, not three fingers. One’s fine. Thank you. Dear God, is this really happening? I know I should take it easy and not overreact and really have to work on not thinking too much into it. But I can’t help it. If I were in his shoes, I’d never go out with me. At least not without a group setting. Definitely not one-on-one. Yup, I know he knows I fancy him. My friends were sooooo not subtle when they were teasing me about my crush, right in front of him and #1 Crush is definitely not dumb. Just young and full of cum… heheheh…

Cannot wait for Wednesday night. God, I hope I don’t stutter… Wish me luck!!

Saturday, September 1, 2007

Goodbye Iowa

My crush on #1 Crush is not showing signs of lessening. It’s getting more intense by the minute. He is not making things easy for me (not on purpose, I don’t think). If I don’t email him in the morning, he’d email me first.

He had been asking for my YM. Apparently chatting is easier than emailing. I think emailing is the way to go so that it could be drawn out for a longer period of time. Hehehhehe…

Anyways, I added him to my YM the night before and I turned on my YM at work, after much encouragement by the receptionist. His ID says he was offline but less than a minute after I turned on my YM, he sent me a message. We’ve been chatting for the better part of the afternoon.

Have I mentioned that he is cute? Even when chatting and/or emailing? Sighh...