Friday, September 26, 2008

Hell's Bells

Last year, I stayed in KL for Raya because my family went to three separate places for Raya. Rather than choosing a side, I chose me.

This year, the whole family will be at my grandma’s in Kuala Lipis, so I will join them there as well. Got the whole week off but I would only travel Tuesday afternoon. Yes, I am not really keen on going back home to see the whole family. My own family I can deal.

I may sound insensitive or something but it’s really boring over there. No DVD, no internet, no privacy. Sharing two bathrooms between 40 people is not something I really wanna do. The sleeping arrangement’s bad also. We are all strewn about the living room, sleeping on the floor.

One thing kinda good about that is that all the boys sleep that way. And some of my cousins are kinda hot. Hheheheh.

I just wanna arrive right before the eve of the festivities and then leave fairly quickly. There’s nothing and no one to do there. I don’t have the patience to go fishing. I might be into going hunting though. Yup, my uncle goes hunting and has a semi-automatic rifle. I’ve used the gun before and I proved to be the most adept amongst the guys.

Hmm, come to think of I was also adept at fishing… well, what passes as fishing anyways… my brother and father are the fishing enthusiasts. But I caught a fish that was apparently huge and a big deal. My brother said that he had been fishing for five years and had yet to catch one and I caught a huge one on my first time out. Beginner’s luck methinks.

Anyways, I was so bored there that I sometimes volunteer to go into the kitchen and help out. Okay, okay, I love cooking but none of them needs to know that. Sigh.

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri, Maaf Zahir Batin to everyone! :)

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

As You Were

Told you guys I went back to see mi familia during the merdeka weekend right? Took the kids out for a movie and a bit of shopping for Raya clothes. Yes, yes, I haven’t been back in a while and I am making it up with the shopping spree.

I booked the movie in advanced from KL. Wow, the wonders of the Internet eh? I even got to cut cue and went straight to the reservation window. My niece thought I was cheating and I got some nasty looks from the patrons but I was in the right. Apparently people in Kuantan don’t use the Internet to book movie tickets.

Speaking of my niece, she’s all grown up. At 12. I did not know this but she’s had her period already! Daymn. I can see physical changes like her boobs are getting bigger but I did not know about the period thing and that she has arm pit hair! I was helping her into a nice dress that I thought would look good on her for Raya and I asked her to raise her arms. She did not want to coz she told me she has hair there. Shocker.

Yes, yes, I haven’t been back to visit for the longest time. I think I haven’t visited once this year. I missed a lot.

Regarding that cliffnotes version of a post that I made previously… number 4 where it says I am seeing someone… scratch that… back to the drawing board… sometimes I feel like I am not made to be with someone. Apparently everything’s designed in pairs right? Soulmates and what not? I think in the whole grand design of things, I got left out. Maybe I was just a lump of clay that was left over from creating everything else but only enough for one entity so I am all alone…

Of course, a post is never complete without #1 Crush news… no change since the last post. Both of us kept quiet and haven’t contacted each other. My guess? He is busy. I saw him online a couple of times but he never said hi or anything. I tried this thing where I made myself appear offline for a couple of days and then made myself appear online. Did not work. He still did not say hi. Oh well.

He did send me an SMS like earlier in the week though. Of course I was ecstatic. Unfortunately, that was it. There’s not much else left in our relationship. He had told me that it was too expensive to go out with me. It’s not that I am expensive but I hardly get to see him so whenever I do get to see him, I’d want it to be special. Then, Prof Karen Walker said that he thinks it’s the cause of me not seeing him that much. The expensive meals. Coz he was afraid to go out with me more often since I only go to expensive restaurants.

That’s bull. I am not expensive. I cook. I eat at roadside stalls. I only eat out at expensive eateries when I am out with good friends or with a special someone. Sure, I do love to dine out at Chili’s or Tony Roma’s but I hardly ever do, unless I am with someone. Normally on weekends. Since I can go to a mamak restaurant any time I want to, when I go out with him or friends, I’d rather go to some place fancier. Sigh.

Apparently, that kind of thinking is the cause of me not going out with #1 Crush as much and now, he’s put the kibosh on us hanging out. Unless he has the cash to go out. Sigh. Since I don’t know when he’d have the cash to spare, he’s gonna have to ask me out. The chances of that happening? Hmmm, lessee… highly unlikely… it’s either me asking or me hinting and nudging until he asks…

Anywho, I think my posts about #1 Crush will be less and less. It’s definitely not working out. Yes I am in love with him and everyone else pales in comparison to him. Of course that’s biased ole me talking. But it’s the truth.

I don’t know for sure how he feels about me. I think he cares, possibly even loves me but to a different degree that how I feel about him. I’d die for him but I don’t think he’d die for me.


Monday, September 8, 2008

Older and Far Away

Cliff Notes of My So Called Life...

1. Work – Busy. As per usual. Almost no time for social life and for friends. Sigh. But according ‘The Devil Wears Prada’, that means I am doing well at work.
2. Colleagues – Am getting closer to a bunch of them since I am almost always at the office. Apparently, these nightshifters have a system that they’ve worked out and I fit right in.
3. Colleagues – The recently married colleague that I mentioned before, (no, not you Teddy, recently married colleague is a girl. Well, I can see why Teddy got confused…), about her not spending time with me after she got married? We’re closer now and her husband’s cool. I like spending time with them and they like spending time with me. They even let me take their car to go to work last weekend!
4. Dating – am seeing someone…
5. Guys – why the hell do I attract all these young’uns?? I am barely 21! Okay, okay, 9 years ago, barely 21… I don’t understand this thing where I keep getting younger guys. Okay, so #1 Crush is young too but at least he’s quite matured. I have no energy to raise a child. That is why I am single and gay. Sigh.
6. #1 Crush – speaking of, he’s gone AWOL again… it’s like a vicious cycle… I’ve told you guys about his new rule right? The one where I am not allowed to ask him out? Unless he is brimming with the green stuff? Well, I guess that would be like… never… sigh… I miss him… I guess it would be a burden going out so I won’t ask anymore… as to not burden him…
7. Went back to hometown to see the familia over the Merdeka weekend. Things with me mom is slightly better but she is still the same ole mom, still nagging, still criticizing, still scrutinizing… sigh…
8. Have been spending a lot of time in the office lately… sometimes I do have legitimate work but most of the time I stick around for the company… living alone is getting to me apparently…