Seeing Red

I am going out of town this weekend. Yup, the workaholic's finally threw the towel in and decided to have fun.

Going on a treasure that would take me to Awana Kijal in Terengganu. I had someone cover my weekend shifts, although it was a hard decision to make since I am basically giving up money but what the hell...

Originally, I wanted to bring my colleagues to my mom's restaurant for lunch on Sunday and then head back to KL. So I thought I oughta take Monday off to stay back with my family while the rest of them go back to KL. I won't be able to go back for Raya Haji anyways.

I called my family and they said my nephew was hospitalized coz there's a virus in his blood. So it was quite the coincidence that I wanted to go home then. Hmm, fate? *shrugs*

Virus in the blood... freaky to think about... I had planned to take them out for Madagascar 2 but since one of em is hospitalized, I guess I'll be spending my time back home in the hospital...

Dead Things

Jealous Guy from work is talking to me. Weird much?

He is in the same unit as me. Actually, there’s only him and me in the unit. And the bitchy boss. There really is no need for jealousy.

I did not get it at first. Why would he be all jealous of me? We do different kind of work. It’s not like we’re ever competing for the same award or the same promotion.

Anyways, a good friend of mine, which is a colleague from a different department, warned me about Jealous Guy. Apparently, JG has been mouthing off to him about me. Bad things about me. Unfortunately for him and quite fortunate for me, this colleague (and most of the people working there) is a good friend of mine. At the very least, I get along with most of them.

So he told me what JG had told him. I did not know what to make of it. He’s not a fag. He’s married with a kid. But he mouths off like a fag.

Then, another colleague/friend told me that JG had been mouthing off, in front of him, to my boss. Third time’s the charm. He mouthed off again to another colleague and of course, I was informed of the incident.

I kept quiet. I concentrated on my work and made sure I covered my tracks. Now, he is in trouble with the boss and her Mini-Me. I likey. He has this habit of blaming everybody else for him slacking off and not doing work. I was one of the victims. But he can’t use me as an excuse/punching bag anymore. Boss got all the emails and knows I am doing my work. Yay! Karma’s a bitch…

But he is talking to me now. I don’t know what to make of it. I am guessing he needs to borrow money from me. Yes, he borrows money from me on a monthly basis. Which is why I am so not understanding why he is dissing me to my good friends. Anyways, this gravy train has left the station and I ain’t helping him anymore.

Ooh, he is also trying to make nice with a lot of the other colleagues. See, after they’ve seen his bad behavior, with me and with others he blamed for him coming in to a 9-6 daily shift at noon and leaving by 3 to go catch a movie or karaoke and not being able to finish his work on time… wow, that’s a loooong sentence… did not even finish it yet… where was I?

Oh, yes, other colleagues have been avoiding him like the plague. He did not care at first because he was kinda on good terms with the boss. Now that the boss has an entirely evil Mini-Me, he has been cast out and that was when the trouble started for him. But he totally had it coming.

After people see that he is not a nice guy, and that I am nicer, they did not care for him as much. As a matter of fact, some people downright hate him. Sigh. The problem is I have to work with him so I don’t really have the luxury of cold-shouldering him. Sigh. But I am slightly enjoying the fact that his life is miserable right now. What? It’s not like I ratted him out for being late! It was someone else but naturally he thought it was me. Like, whatever! I have not caused him any harm so I ain’t evil for smiling at his misfortune. Wait, maybe I am evil because I smile at his misfortune that is not caused by me. I am confused. Either way, I am enjoying seeing him squirm in front of the boss, trying to weasel his way out of problems that he himself caused.

All the Way

June’s quite a big month for me. My nephew was born in this month, and so was I.

But this year, it’s a bit special. This is my 6th month working at the company. One more month, and I’d officially last longer at one job than all other previous jobs. Except for my first job of course. I worked there for more than 2 years. Yup, I had been moving from one job to another ever since that first company shut down.

I had been told, unofficially, that I would be confirmed. Yay! The letter had been drawn up and everything. I have seen it with my own eyes. Unfortunately, we are changing management, and the GM refused to sign the letter and wanted the new management to issue the letter. Unfortunately, the new management wants to put it on hold. So much for the ‘yay’ eh?

But I was told that it’s not just me. Everybody else is in the same boat. Phew!

Anyways, I am taking some time off to go back to my hometown to celebrate my nephew’s birthday. Although it won’t be for too long because the universe will implode if I am in the same room with my mom for more than five minutes.

This month is also when I am testing #1 Crush. To see what the thing between us is… just friends or more or a thing of convenience…

Bargaining Part 1

#1 Crush's birthday is coming up. I've planned to have a celebratory dinner with him the night before his actual birthday. Ya know, so that if other people such as colleagues, family members or the boyfriend would wanna take him out to celebrate, they could. He'd be free to celebrate with them.

He has confirmed that the dinner is on. Yay! I am so happy. Unfortunately, his birthday came at such an unfortunate timing. I was told that some of the claims that was due to me is not actually claimable. Like the PWTC gig. 10 days worth of allowances gone down the drain, even though I already got some allowance from the parent company and also from the organisers. But when I asked my boss, she said I could still claim. Sigh.

So starting last week (and even the weekend), I am watching my spending and not going out as much so that I could go celebrate #1 Crush's birthday. Not that I wanna spend that much money, but at least a decent restaurant. It's not often I get to celebrate the birthday of someone I am in love with. Yes, that's right. Even after all these years, I've never been with anyone that long to celebrate a birthday or even an anniversary. Sigh.

I am still at a loss as to what to give #1 Crush for a birthday present. I am sure my undying love and loyalty doesn't count. Right? Hehehehe...

Yeah, even though he knows how I feel about him, it's kinda awkward to be saying it out loud.

I got him a DVD. Is that a good present? It's his favorite movie. Double Disc Special Edition Director's Cut. I actually had bought it a long time ago but when I bought it, I had #1 Crush in mind. And I think he's seen the DVD on my shelves whenever he came over. Is that tacky? Giving a present that's been bought a long time ago? Anyway, I am out of ideas so I am giving him that DVD and also perfume, But the perfume was something he had specifically asked me to get for him from the warehouse sale that I went to, so technically it could not be counted as a present.

I am so psyched!! Can't wait for Monday... I wanna hug him and kiss him... but I dunno if I would have the nerve to do so... maybe... I am so gonna need liquor... wish me luck! :)

By the way, tomorrow (11th) makes it exactly one year that I broke up with The Ex and one year that I have been single... Not too sure where he is or what he is doing... but I hope he's happy... okay, I don't, sue me... I hope he rot in purgatory but happily rotting in purgatory... hehehehe...

Spiral

Had been working for two weekends in a row. Normally I’d complain and bitch about it but this time I was happy to do it.

Book Fair at PWTC. The parent company joined us at the booth and actually gave us RM20 per day meal allowance. I also get to claim from my employers RM40 per day. That doesn’t include the RM20 per day I got as a bonus from the organizers because they were supposed to provide food but they did not manage to. All in all, it’s RM80 per day on top of my salary.

Plus, #1 Crush was there. There were so many things going on between us. Lunches, dinners, karaokes, bowling. There was even cooking of dinner. He was cooking at my place. J

Yes, I am a happy gurl. Although the book fair is over and life resumed back to its normal ways, I still smile when recalling the book fair. We spent so much time together in that one week than we’ve ever done in the one year we’ve been friends. Sigh.

Oh, and Marketing Girl quit. I bet my boss is doing a happy dance. She told me and a colleague that she’d do whatever it takes to make sure MG quit.

Hmm, two mini paragraphs of #1 Crush and I moved on to work stuff? Weird. I don’t really feel the need to talk about what went on. Too much things to blog? Not really. Hmmm…

I have to say this though. I am getting more comfortable with him and letting my guard down. I mentioned karaoke right? I’ve always tried to and successfully avoided him for karaokes because I am shy. I don’t let just anyone hear me sing. Next up is clubbing. Yes, I’ve been avoiding him in the clubs too. I dunno why but I am shy. I don’t really dance, even though I love to dance. He’s been seeking me out in the clubs but we’ve never crossed paths. Thank Goddess.

Oh, also, I’ve been getting more and more jealous. Of other people flirting with him. Of course I can’t control it and can’t stop them from flirting. The thing that makes it worse is that #1 Crush flirts back. Sigh.

#1 Crush is extremely charming and good looking. Quite a number of guys and girls fall for him. Including this one gay guy working in front of my booth. Of course I can’t tell him off, to tell him to stop flirting with #1 Crush. Sigh.

#1 Crush was not being helpful to the sitch coz he also flirts back and was asking for the fag’s number. I told him I would not give him the number because I was jealous. Yup, that’s right. I told him. Dunno whether I oughta feel proud that I was forthcoming with the info or I should feel embarrassed. After all, #1 Crush is not mine. I should not be jealous. We’re supposed to be just friends. Sigh.

Then, there was this incident with a friend who wanted so badly to meet #1 Crush. Of course I balked. Not so much from jealousy… okay, jealous. But also coz I have told them of my feelings for #1 Crush and I did not want any of it repeated to #1 Crush.

But this friend went around telling my other friends his intentions of wanting to meet #1 Crush. I shouldn’t balk at that right? Wrong. He also told my friends he would not mind if #1 Crush wanted to do him. He told me himself that he wanted to meet #1 Crush but only meet. But then he finished his statement by saying “I don’t think I am #1 Crush’s taste anyways.” Announcing intentions much?

#1 Crush is good looking and I don’t blame the guy for getting an itch down there but come on. Like Tyra Banks said, “If you’re a bitch, hide it”. If you really wanna go down this road, don’t tell me lar. He knows how I feel and yet he’s flaunting it to my face. Sigh.

So much for not writing much about #1 Crush eh?

Tough Love

Work’s getting me down. Pressure. It’s not good for me. Understatement. I know. But I am prone to have migraines. Too much pressure and I’ll get the worst kind of migraine. Sigh.

I’d love to be able to just quit. I had even considered going back to my hometown and work with my mother. Yeah, it’s really that bad. Um, for those not in the know, I had a huge fight with my mom and we’re not really in good terms with each other for over a year and a half now. But that’s a totally different story.

Anyways, I have been given a task to do some sort of marketing thingy which had absolutely nothing to do with my job scope. Actually, I was put in charge. Now, I don’t really mind because if I go out for events like these, I could claim meal allowance. 10 days worth of meal allowance is quite a lot and I could use that kind of money.

Plus, #1 Crush will also be there. Heheheheh. Yes, I look towards the brighter side of things. I can’t look at the bad. It gives me a headache. Anyways, he’s been on the quiet side these past few days. Not sure what’s up. I miss him. Miss chatting with him. Sigh.

Oops, sidetracked. We had a meeting today to discuss the events and a colleague spoke up. She was not thrilled about doing events. She even applied for leave. My boss chewed her up and spat her out. I wished I could help her and state my case as well but my colleague dug a hole the size of a grave and jumped in.

She actually said that the marketing thingy is not a marketing exec’s job. Unfortunately for her, it really is a marketing job. My boss told her that she’s being unreasonable and that she really should take charge. Boss pointed out that me and the other two guys could cite that excuse and refuse to work but Marketing Girl could not. Boss went on a rant for half an hour. I tried diverting the word lashing and discuss the event but I could not divert it.

The guys and I were blushing like mad and our ears were red. It was effing uncomfortable. Marketing Girl was quiet like a mouse while Boss kept on lashing with her wicked mouth. Finally, Boss just told her to hand in her resignation letter coz Marketing Girl kept saying she can’t do the marketing thingy coz she’s shy and embarrassed to be doing such work. Again, digging own grave. Sigh.

I felt bad coz Boss could have lashed at Marketing Girl in private and just kept the meeting on point. Sometimes I think Boss just could not think straight and is powered by her hormones.

I don’t know whether Marketing Girl will quit or not. I hope not. I kinda like her a bit. I miss #1 Crush. Yes, yes, had to put it in there. Sigh. Our ‘relationship’ is kinda different, I can’t contact him. He contacts me. I don’t do waiting well but I have learned and understood his patterns. If I deal the hand first, I get zip. Always waiting. Always alone. No, wait, that’s a Slayer. Sigh…

Intervention

Bowling is a favorite activity of mine. That, and sex. Okay not really sex. Okay, yes, sex. Not really. Oh, I’m sure you get it…

Bowling. Yes. I love bowling. I was first introseduced to bowling in 1996 I think. But I did not get into the full swing (pun intended) of it until I went to America. Bowling was cheap there.

On Tuesdays and Wednesday nights, after 9 pm, it was 99 cents per game. On Thursdays, it was 25 cents per game (but you gotta pay cover charge of 5 bucks). Fridays and Saturdays are Cyber Bowling where you bowl in the dark or UV light and the bowling balls change color. That’s USD7 for two whole hours.

Anyways, that’s where I got hooked. Plus, there was nothing else to do in Pueblo (the town where I was studying at). I don’t do like going to straight clubs and I don’t drink. It was either the movies or bowling. Or study or work.

Now, I ain’t saying I am good but I ain’t bad either. Heheheheh. Ever since I got back from America, I’ve had this resolution. I wanted to bowl a game of over 200. I had achieved 201 in 2001 and then in 2002 I got 202. I beat my own highest score.

Last Saturday, I finally achieved it. My resolution. I bowled a game of 211!! It took me 6 years but I finally got it!! Yay me!!!

Now that the celebration’s over, I gotta bowl a game of 220 next… wonder if that would take me another 6 years…

P/S – Work sitch is no better but at least my Director dismissed the whole drama as another one of my boss’ craziness.

Forever

I got into trouble at work. I had been working 7 days a week for a few weeks now. So I asked for time off Wednesday and Friday (Thursday was Public Holiday). My boss okayed it so I hung out at home on those days.

Unfortunately for me, my boss did a Jason Bourne and conveniently forgot that she okayed my leave. She went into full bitch mode. She sent me email criticising my work performance and stuff. She even cc'ed to the Big Boss. She even said that I did a disappearing act on Wednesday. WTF??

I am in a pickle. I could not really answer the email in way that I want. Like "Yo bitch! What's eatin' your panties?" or something to that effect. I know she criticise my work because I did not come in to the office. She said that the website is outdated and that I am responsible. Sure, I admit to it but only from this week. Coz I took time off.

It's like she's hell bent on ruining my life for taking time off. I guess I did not read the fine print that said once I signed on to work there, I'm expected to work 24/7.

She's only doing this because I took time off. Just last week, she sung me praises for a job well done. This week, it's outdated and bad? Come on.

And she even went as far as saying that I am a lazy fuck who just copy off of another website and not update original stuff from our own team. My team does Malay while the website is in English. Come on! It doesn't make sense to mix the lingo.

I have answered her email. Diplomatic as hell. I wish I could just come clean and told her the truth but I still need this job. However, since my respect for her is completely gone (and now I know her true, true colors), would I really wanna work there?

Can anybody give me a job? I give good head... I mean, I am a good worker...

Should I really work from home (which I did, but of course I only update in the evening)? Even though it's my day off? What is it with me and not being able to hold down a steady job? Sigh.

The Body

Work’s a bitch. Lately. Gone are the days where it’s fun and games. It’s now tense and boring and bitchy. But I won’t talk about that coz I am not directly involved.

But believe me. The underlings are in for the fight of their lives against the management. Oooh, the plot sickens…

I wanna bitch about work that’s affecting me. The part where I don’t get a life and supposed to work 24/7. Sigh.

I am still working seven days a week. Getting tired and restless. I need a break but I could not. I need my weekends. Unfortunately I have to work weekends as well and it’s not even my primary job. I hate being the reliable one.

Some friends have commented that I looked like I’ve lost weight. Can fatigue cause weight loss? If it could, then I might have slimmed down a bit. My pants are literally falling off of my waist… if only there was a cute guy around when it actually comes down to the knees… hehehehe…

Speaking of cute guys, had a date with #1 Crush… it went well. He showed up. First sign of the date going well. I believe this was our first movie date. Lessee… we saw Beowulf with friends. We saw Harry Potter with friends too. We went and saw Horton Hears A Who. His choice. I would have picked Spiderwick but Horton is okay for me too.

Oh, and he gave me three dictionaries. THREE. Free. I was looking for a dictionary for my unit and my boss gave me money to go get a couple and I told him about it. He brought em and gave me for free, even though I could’ve paid him the money. Altogether now, awwwww…

Sigh… anyways, like I said, the date went great. I always have a good time with him. Of course, he looked as hot as ever. Took all of my will power not to pinch his cheeks. On the face lar. Haiyo. Not his ass. Okay, maybe his ass too. A bit. Okay, a lot. He noticed I was drooling over his nicely shaped ass so he turned around so that I would not see the ass. Big mistake coz now his um, thingy, is bulging in my face. Sigh…

Anyways, I was not the only one who was checking out asses. He was checking out mine too. Or at least I think he was. He said that I should lose the backpack so that he could see the curviness of where the small of the back meets the ass. And he poked me on the stomach on more than one occasion. Why? The boy is a chubby chaser lar, he likes em round. Hehehehe.

Hmm… he’s not in town anymore. Outstation because of work. When work stopped being hectic today, I realized that I missed him a lot. I know he’s taken and that I am grasping at air but I can’t help it. But we all know my luck is never good in this department. Guess I should count my blessings that a hot guy is even talking to me eh?

I Was Made to Love You

Work’s been a bitch lately. I haven’t had a proper weekend in weeks. I hate that. I need my cutie sleep.

It’s even worse when election time rolled around. I had to work on nomination day, which was a Sunday, and have been working since. This coming weekend, I am gonna be working too.

One of my closest friends is having a birthday dinner and I thought I could not attend. He sounded so disappointed. My boss had told me she expected me to stay until 10pm everyday in case. But it’s been a few days of the election campaigning and everything seems to be okay. So I got to go home at 7 or so and I also got to go home early in time for the dinner. Thank God.

And unfortunately, I can’t take a break after the election still. I am being attached to one of the divisions at the parent company for two weeks. Sigh. Guess my break will be due in April. Until then, let’s hope I don’t keel over and die…

Checkpoint

I am writing this from the office. Yes, I have to work!! It's Federal Territory Day and I have to work!! I even have to work Saturday and Sunday!

No big really coz I get to replace these three days at a different time. But I freaked out a bit about working Saturday coz of the Switchfoot concert. Coz of the going to the concert with a certain someone.

I told him to go ahead to the concert without me if I ended up working late Saturday but he refused to go without me, for reasons known only to him. But I am going to be all 'glass half full' and say that he is being sweet. Altogether now... Awwww...

When I asked my boss about it, she snapped at me for having excuses when it comes to work. In front of people. So I waited for her to go back to her room, then asked her again, telling her about the concert and that I am going with that special someone. Yes, yes, I told her but skipped on the details. She assumed it's a girl. An actual girl. What... #1 Crush is a man... for the most part... hehehehe...

We checked the time and found that the event was only until 12. Thank Goddess. So it's still on. I hope #1 Crush won't fall asleep or anything and stand me up again. Oh, wait, I haven't told you guys this story yet. Well, I'm gonna. Watch this space.

Oh, and yes, the tickets have yet to materialize but my colleague assures me that the tickets are accounted for. We have to go to the convention center and hook up with her friend to get it. Hopefully there's no problem. Otherwise #1 Crush might get pissed. *crosses finger*

Into the Woods

Not to bitch at a new job at this early a stage but I kinda got some problems with work. Nothing too drastic or earth shattering but it's bugging the hell out of me. I know, I know, I could stand to be a little more proactive and stand up for myself and it's not like I'm such a pushover, it's just that I don't really like conflict and once a conflict emerges, work sitch will start to be uncomfortable and unbearable. Sigh.

Firstly, my pay is not that high. I got over that. But now that I might have to burn the midnight oil (I actually did a couple of times) and will have to work weekends, I am thinking that I got the short end of the stick here. Other people in the office gets a slightly smaller salary than mine but they got paid for overtime. This Sunday, I have to go outstation for a work thing and if I recall correctly, there's no meal allowance or anything allocated to me. Other colleagues, the ones that have to go out of the office all the time, gets some sort of allowance. This problem, I'll deal with later. This outstation thingy is a one-off thing I think. But working late might be a reality soon enough. I should get meal allowance or transport allowance or something.

Secondly, my colleagues are not doing their jobs. I would end up doing their jobs for them. The admin guy is never at his cubicle. And as soon as he goes and disappears, there would be a need for him. Errands and stuff. I'd be the one sent to go get a letter or a package or deliver something to another unit in the building. Nothing to do with my job right? Sigh. That's not the worst of it. This one other colleague, keeps insisting that I do her work for her. Yup, that's right.

She pretends to not know how to do stuff and out of the goodness of my heart, I'd help out. At first, I did not mind because I did not have anything to do and did not even have a computer yet so I helped out of sheer boredom. Now, I actually have somethings to do and yet she still asks me to do stuff for her. Ordinarily, I don't mind doing write-ups or Powerpoint presentations or whatever but if you want my help, you gotta do your work first, then I'll add on. Noooooooooooooooo. She wants me to write everything. Her excuse? "I'm not that good with Powerpoint" or "I don't know how to write a letter."

This, coming from a girl who's supposed to be the marketing person. How has she survived as the marketing person before this? Maybe she did what she's doing with me now, getting other people to do it for her. Sigh. Nice girl but she needs to do her own job. Hmm, come to think of it, I do recall other people, friends and whatnot, asking me to do the same thing for them. Why? Just because I know how to write? Everyone can write. I ain't that special. I know, I know, I should just tell these people to shove it up somewhere but as I did a few days ago, I'll deflect from helping. Busy with my own work. Hehheheh. Yup, I really don't like conflict. But no one gets to walk all over me and gets away with it. Doormat, I am not. I think...

Listening to Fear

The New Year is upon us once again. This has been quite a year for me, but not as tumultuous as 2006.

I started out the year with great friends, doing PR work for an oil & gas company, kinda seeing someone, kinda avoiding my mother… basically as good as it gets. After a couple of months, the ‘kinda seeing’ turned into an actual relationship. Things are looking up.

Not for long though. Just as my love life was stabilizing, my work life went down the drain. I made an error in judgment that led to me being fired. Okay, I was not fired. I was asked to leave. Technicality…

I was unemployed for a month before I was recruited by my fag hag’s twin sister. Lucky me. I thought I was going to be unemployed for months again. Luck was a lady they say and that lady was a bitch. Moody bitch at that. She got me the job but then decided to dissolve my relationship.

Yup, just as my life was getting back on track, I was dumped. The reason? He was afraid that he would forever be known a no good gold-digging tramp. I told him that was a lousy excuse. First of all, who cares what other people think and second of all, prove them all wrong. Prove to them that you’re not just using me for my money (even though I don’t have that much money). Sigh. It was like talking to a wall.

My life sank into a depression and with it, came the migraines. I had to take some emergency leave and stuff and that got me in a bit of hot water at work. I asked him to give me some money when I was unemployed but he refused to. I guess our time together meant nothing to him. The fact that I always went out of my way to help him also did not register at all. I was even more depressed. The migraines came back and brought some friends along with. My friends were there for me though. I am eternally grateful for them. And they were right about him all along. I just refused to believe it coz I was blinded by love. Sigh.

Just when I thought I was stuck in that depressed rut, along came him. The guy I’ve dubbed #1 Crush. In the few weeks I’ve known him, he managed to bring me out of my funk and I was able to function normally again. But then, I fell for him and that brought on another bout of depression. The good kind. The kind that I don’t mind because it’s all me and not caused by him.

Anyways, things at work were improving because the migraines and friends went away and I was able to go to work normally. #1 Crush and I were also doing great. I mean, we were getting along fine. Until my friends started ragging on us. Okay, so I made the tragic mistake of telling them how I felt. How was I supposed to know they’d not stop teasing me (and him) about it? Mercilessly. I don’t mind the teasing because it’s true. I heart #1 Crush. But he did not feel the same way about me. We’re just friends. He should not be subjected to such torment, especially since he has a lover already. Sigh.

So, towards the end of the year, I switched jobs yet again. I have grown to love my colleagues. My job is nice also. And have I mentioned that some of my colleagues are effing cute? And that I get to meet celebs like Sheikh Muszaphar? Sigh…

Anyways, thank you everyone who made my year a living hell and then turned it around and made it bearable again. To my ex-colleagues at the oil & gas company, even though it ended the way it did, I still look back fondly of our time together. I got to go to Singapore!

To my ex, thanks for our time together, even though now it felt like it was all a lie but a lie that I needed.

To my friends, I love you guys and thanks for being there for me, even though you guys are quite evil and nasty and devoid of human feelings.

To my fag hag and twin sis, thanks for hiring me and giving me a chance.

To my ex-colleagues, you guys made life at the office slightly pleasant. To my current colleagues, hopefully what we have now will last.

Lastly, to #1 Crush, thanks for coming into my life just when I needed it the most. I am not sure if you know this but you’ve made me more confident and slightly happier that I ever was. For that, I am eternally grateful. Hope you won’t take this the wrong way, but I love you…

Shadow

It's been two weeks. I kinda like it here. Mostly because of my colleagues. We get along fairly well and they're a fun, crazy bunch.

Work is pretty okay so far. All I'm doing in the office is exploring Facebook. Heheheh. Don't worry. That's actually part of my job.

Did I mention that Sheikh Muszaphar dropped by the office? Oh. My. God. He's hot. Me likey... :)

Fool For Love

I’ve started at this job for a week now. The first few days went on boringly because I have not gotten a PC yet. However, on Thursday, they gave me a temporary laptop. My job is Web Content Editor, and yet I am bound to the desk? What about the weekends? The website won’t get updated? Hmmm…

The other company has given me an official offer. I now know how much I would be making if I were to accept the job offer. I am feeling slightly confused. Do I go for the money or do I go for the career?

My friends have told me that a career is better than taking more money. I kinda agree but right now, those extra bucks would be a lot of help for me. Sigh. I just don’t know what to do. Okay, I guess I know what I should do but I am wondering whether I am doing the right thing or…

No Place Like Home

I have submitted my resignation. This Friday would be my last day at work. I'll start work at my new office on Monday. Yay. It's a web content editor position at a news agency. A step towards my goal in becoming a writer. Or at least it seems to be. I was all excited and stuff, well, except for the pay, kinda same with the one I am earning now.

Today, I got news that I am being offered a job by the other company I interviewed for. Remember? Told you guys I went on two interviews on my day off and then I went and had dinner with #1 Crush? Ooh. Awkward. Um, longer story there but now focused on work.

Anyways, I kinda told the news agency that I'm taking the job but I was told that the other company might be giving me a lot more money. Sigh. These things tend to happen to me. Either I am jobless or have many job offers. Nah, kidding. But I am confused now. Do I go for the money? Or do I schlepp it and follow my dreams?

On the one hand, I'd be getting back to my Corporate Comms roots, which also have some form of writing. Also, I'd be a lot closer to Subang, if you know what I mean. Hehehehe. Oh, oh, gotta focus. Extremely cute boss? That's a good thing right? Okay, okay, he also seems very cool and open and quite gay. :)

On the other hand, traveling by KTM Komuter is a hassle. The news agency thing is also something I am interested in. Kinda. Sigh. Have to think. By Thursday I gotta make up my mind. HELP!!!

Out of My Mind

Has anybody seen Beowulf? That has got to be the gayest movie I've seen since Alexander. The hero guy kept being naked. What's up with that? Yes, I went to see that with #1 Crush (and three other friends). It's not that big a deal. I saw Harry Potter with him (and four other friends). But this time, we got to sit next to each other. Not by my planning of course. Someone else was in charge of the tickets and handed me mine and #1 Crush his.

Prof Karen Walker kept asking me where my hands were, like I'd do anything underhanded. Dude, #1 Crush had been to my place and we had been in closer proximity than that. Alone even. Nothing happened. Contrary to popular belief, I am capable of restraint. Sigh.

Anyways, I am not going to talk about that night or the fact that #1 Crush is good at bowling (which is something I look for in a partner, sigh). I wanna talk about my job. New job. I've been offered a job at the news agency that I interviewed for. The money offered is still the same as my current pay but since it is a start in the right direction of the career that I envisioned having, I guess I am willing to take it like a man.

I have submitted my two weeks notice. As predicted, my boss has piled on work for me and expects miracles AKA me finishing em all of before I leave. Hopefully I can. I don't wanna cause trouble for my supervisor who helped hired me in the first place. She was the one who pushed me to go for this new job. She totally understood me. Even before I could fathom making any decision.

In December, I'll be a web editor and I'll be working in a new environment and with new colleagues. Oh good God, I think I might throw up a little bit. Ooh, that reminds me. I gotta get me a housemate. Anyone looking for a room to rent in Cheras? :)

The Replacement

The job interviews went quite well. The KL one was a bit off. Somehow I come across as being intimidated by the interviewer, even though this was my third time being interviewed by him.

The one in PJ was relatively better. The interviewer was kinda hot and he was kinda gay. I dunno whether the fact he was hot or he was gay or what, but I was slightly more comfortable in that interview. Or maybe because he was speaking English. Hmm...

The interview even went on for more than one hour. #1 Crush SMSed me, asking where I was. I did not realize that it was close to 6 already. The interviewer seemed reluctant to let me go though. Kept stalling. Ordinarily, I'd raise my eyebrow and be slightly curious but I was kinda late and the commuter train is not known for being on time so I was eager to leave.

I got to Subang Parade around 6.30. He looked so fine. Of course. We walked around a bit before heading to TGIF for dinner. We finally got a chance to eat our favorite food. Ribs. He wanted to order the JD glazed ribs at first but changed his mind and ordered the normal BBQ ribs. He also asked for a non-smoking table, even though he smokes.

Why? Apparently he was thinking of me. Isn't that sweet? Makes a boy fall in love. Wait. Already did. Fall even more. I don't smoke. I don't drink alcohol. If he took the JD-glazed one, I wouldn't be able to have some. He even rebuffed my claim that alcohol burns once cooked. He said some still lingers. So caring. Altogether now... awwwww....

After dinner, we headed out. He had a couple of errands to do before sending me home. We took the Federal Highway home. He popped in a CD which featured love songs and love songs only. Toni Braxton. Mariah Carey. BoyzIIMen. George Benson. O.M.G. I love Nothing's Gonna Change My Love For You. Always sing it at karaoke. He was singing along to some songs. I kinda joined but I kept my voice level under his because he sings like an angel and my singing voice is bad.

Unfortunately for me, there was a Siti Nurhaliza song in the CD and I completely forgotten my reservations and sang normally. I noticed #1 Crush not singing from time to time but I did not make anything of it until the song ended and he said that my singing voice is nice. What the... he was listening to me singing. Noooo!!! Oh, the horrors!! Wait, he said my singing voice is nice???

And why is he piling on the compliments? Dammit. My singing voice is not nice. I have been fortunate that he had been too busy to join me and my friends for karaoke. I am embarassed to unleash my singing voice in front of him. But apparently it's nice so I don't have to pray he'd be busy during karaoke sessions anymore. Just pray that he'd be busy during clubbing time. I ain't ready for him to see me dance. I am not good. Oooh, that reminds me. Last couple of weeks, I went clubbing with friends and so did he. He went looking for me on the dance floor. Lucky I had moved on and went upstairs. I don't think I could have danced if I knew he was around. Yes, yes, I am weird that way.

Where was I? Oh, yes, love songs. All the way to Cheras. Sigh. Then, he missed the exit near Midvalley. I told him so and he said he did not wanna pay the toll. I shrugged. He was taking the long way home. I get to spend more time with him. Wait. Is that his plan all along? Hmmm. Nah. I could not be that lucky. He probably did not know that route to my place. He knew that one way only. Still, I ain't complaining. More time with him is always good. Get to see him sing and be goofy. God, he is so adorable when he's goofy. Just wish I could reach across and pinch his cheek. The one on the face lar people. I am in love, not in lust.

Anywho, gotta stop gushing now. Remember, #1 Crush knows of this blog and will probably read this. Even though it's sweet of him to pretend he knows nothing of it when I deny I have a blog. :)

Real Me

My contract has just been renewed for the next three months. After that, I will be up for the permanent position of Technical Writer (coz my supervisor's quitting) but nothing is certain since the company's opening up the spot to the public. I figured my chances of getting that job is pretty slim so I am on the lookout for new jobs.

I guess the planet's lined up in my favor or something because I got two interviews set up. Via my friends. They heard about a job opening at their office and submitted my resume to them. I'll be attending the interviews tomorrow. One interview is in KL, nearer to my current office and the other one is in PJ (kinda near to #1 Crush).

I hope I get the one in KL because it is slightly easier for me to get to work. But the one in PJ would allow me to hang out with #1 Crush after work. Heheehe. I need to priotise my thingies right? #1 Crush is a priority to me too.

Anyways, I am seeing him tomorrow after my PJ interview. Am looking forward to that as well. We haven't seen each other for almost month. I miss him a lot. Hopefully nothing will come up and he had to cancel on me. Wish me luck! :)

Oh, and wish me luck for my job interviews too! Heheheh...

Graduation Day Part 1

Work sucks. I can’t go to the toilet for five minutes without my boss checking up on me. Sigh. My current project is a bit complicated and I am kinda stumped. It so doesn’t help that the headache that I have been having came back and brought some friends along with. Even my eyeballs are hurting. Sigh.

I have made a new fag hag at the office. The office receptionist. She knows I am crushing on this one tall cute Chinese guy and she keeps updating me on his movements. She’ll call me if he comes in, goes to smoke or toilet. Hehehe. Not that I asked her to, mind you. She seems to think that we both would make a good couple.

I’ve noticed that he had been checking me out. At first, the receptionist was kinda skeptical. Eh, why is everyone skeptical about me being checked out? Am I that fugly? Anyways, I decided to let her see it with her own eyeballs. I hung out at the reception area and voila, Tall Cute Chi Guy came by and went smoking. When he returned, he checked me out. The receptionist saw it too. Ever since that day, she’s been pushing him on me.

Have you ever get the feeling that you’ve met someone before but you really can’t place where you’ve met him? And you know you’d remember him because he’s so cute and hot and tall? I’ve been feeling that way ever since I first met the guy. I think we were lovers in our previous lives. I know I’d remember meeting him or if I did him already. He has this look on him, like he knows me from somewhere and wanted to talk to me about it but he never does. Playing hard to get, is what the receptionist says. Sigh.