Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Buffy vs Dracula

I had something else all written up. I was gonna tell you guys about my weekend. Went clubbing at La Queen. Almost bumping into #1 Crush (and the boyfriend). Open houses. Cute hosts. Etc etc etc.

But now, there is bigger news. I gotta learn to keep my mouth shut. Or at least keep it shut about some stuff. #1 Crush has finally persuaded me to give him the address to this blog. Yup, the one where I detailed our ‘dates’ and my feelings towards him and not to mention everything else that was going on in my life.

Sigh. Like I could say ‘no’ to him for long. I’d go to the moon and back if he asked me to. Sigh. Again.

Anyways, I was writing up a post when he messaged me over YM, asking me why I was quiet. Nonchalantly, I told him I was writing up a post on my blog for the events that happened during the weekend. So he asked to read it. Again. Yup, I had mentioned my blog to him once and he asked for it but I refused back then.

Somehow or rather, my ability to say ‘no’ to him had gone down the drain and I gave in. But I made him swear that he’d remain a friend to me no matter what. Who knows? Some people don’t really wanna get close to someone, especially since they are taken and that someone is harboring an all-consuming love for them.

He read it… well, the index page anyways, and he said that it was fine. Touching. It’s normal. I am entitled to my own feelings and opinions. Guess his reaction was kinda expected. My friends are not subtle when hinting about my feelings for him and I am pretty sure (from our interactions and conversations) that he had known about the torch that I bear for him. Ooh, bursting into song moment.

*sings* The torch I bear is torching me… (guess correctly what song this is and I’ll buy dinner…)

But now he knows everything, from the ole canoodle to things in my heart to things my conscience is saying. Hopefully things would not change much between us. I so don’t wanna lose him. Oooh, maybe I should not have said that coz #1 Crush might be reading this. Why can’t I fall for a cute, romantic, nice, funny, matured, sexy voiced, independent AND single boy? Had to fall for the unavailable ones eh? Story of my life…

Tuesday, October 16, 2007


Yay! Two of my favorite TV shows are merging! Veronica Mars is making an appearance in Heroes! Okay, Kristen Bell is joining the cast of Heroes as a mysterious girl who may or may not have powers. I am told AKA spoiled that it's something kinda cool.

I am glad Veronica Mars would live on in Heroes after being canceled after 3 seasons. I love that show. It's like Buffy meets Nancy Drew meets CSI. Anybody else caught VM?

Thursday, October 11, 2007


It’s Thursday. One more day till Eid. One more day of boredom in the office. #1 Crush has gone back to his hometown. Since yesterday. I miss him a lot.

It’s even worse today coz all of my friends are no longer online. Most of them has left the city already. That’s right. I am staying in town. Not going back to celebrate with my family. Same shit. Issues with my mother.

This time, it’s even more dramatic. My mother won’t go through menopause alone so she dragged everybody into her drama. She said she was pissed off at everyone so she would be spending raya at her sister’s place in Pekan. My dad would be in Kuala Lipis, celebrating with his mother, with my brother and niece in tow.

My sister decided to celebrate in Kuantan, with the nephew. I refused to choose a side so I have decided to stick it out in KL and celebrate Raya alone.

Sigh. Now back to the issue with my mom. Nothing I do pleases her. Everything is wrong in her eyes. Worst of all, she keeps telling the whole wide world about it. About everything that she sees wrong with me. I just can’t take it anymore.

One day, I’ll just tell her off. But not anytime soon of course. I don’t want to be evil to my own mother. Hence the staying away part. I miss #1 Crush. I miss his humor, the chats that we have everyday over YM. Oopsy, got a bit sidetracked.

In other news, the receptionist at work AKA the Fag Hag, has told me her desire to marry me, even though she is fully aware that we both have one common denominator. The predilection for sucking cock. I am sure she’ll get over this idea after the holidays. But if she doesn’t, it’ll be good for me. She knows what she is getting into and she is not complaining. According to her, I am good to the ladies. Duh. I am one of the ladies.

But I guess this could solve my “When you getting married?” problem… she could keep doing whoever it is that she’s doing and I could continue to pine for #1 Crush… I mean, I could see anybody I want… can’t believe I might be actually getting married… I am going to be a beautiful bride…

Hmm, wonder who’s gonna be my bridesmaid… oooh, what will we name the kids... I’ve always like the name Lilly…

Thursday, October 4, 2007

The Yoko Factor

A lot of things have happened between me and #1 Crush these past couple of weeks. I did not really have time to blog about em, mostly because I had been busy.

Not busy with work in the office. But busy with #1 Crush. He and I constantly communicate over YM during office hours. Guess I am lucky that I don’t really have any work to do coz we’d be going at it from morning until it’s time for him (or me) to leave the office.

Ever since our second date at that sushi place, #1 Crush and I had seen each other two more times. The first was at my place for a group buka puasa and the second was near his office for buka puasa.

I hosted a buka puasa gathering (which I do every year) and invited my closest friends. He came at about 2pm, which was way too early. He actually helped me prepare the dishes and kept me company. It was sweet of him to do so.

For the third date, I had to take the commuter train to go to his office area. It’s only fair. He traveled quite far to go to my office area for our second date. We had a seafood dinner and a secret recipe cheesecake dessert. Actually, the third date was supposed to be on the day before but he had to cancel at the last minute because something came up. Of course I was upset as hell but I got over it.

The replacement date was kinda short notice. He was supposed to stay in the office and work (and claim overtime) but he insisted that I come over that side of the world and break fast with him. He would then take me to his office and I’d wait until he’s done with work for him to send me home. I thought it was sweet and highly romantic. He’s involving me in his work life and he was willing to juggle me and work so that we could spend time together before the long Raya break.

Sigh. I think I am falling for him hard. What? I’ve fallen? Yup, I have. Dear God.

I really intended to take things slow with him, mostly he has a boyfriend and I don’t really know if he sees me the way I see him. Unfortunately, with our constant communication and our dates, it’s getting harder and harder to take things slow. Especially with him piling on the charms and the pick-up lines on me. Wait, why would he be piling on the charms and pick-up lines on me? Is he interested in me too? Argh. I need a drink. This is so confusing.