The Zeppo

I was meeting someone during the weekend. At Tasik Permaisuri. I don’t go there alone because it’s not too safe so I asked Teddy to come with. Actually, it’s been like our thing now that Prof Karen Walker upped and left us to fend for ourselves, going to exotic locations such as… Kedah. Hehehe, a little inside joke.

Anyway, we were hanging out at the Chinese side, for some reason, and chatting with friends. It was interested for sure (yup, I purposely typed in ‘interested’, as another inside joke. Teddy’ll get it). Poor Teddy got the front of his car scratched by a Mat Rempit who sped up from behind and tried to overtake Teddy. However, he could not really over take Teddy the Speed Demon and timed it slightly poorly and the Mat Rempit’s exhaust pipe scratched a humongous line across the front of Teddy’s car.

I saw it happen but I thought he just bumped into the car. When we parked, we saw the scratches. Poor Teddy. There were like 200 of them there so we could not even attempt to track down which one did it and butt-rape him till kingdom come. We did get a little taste of revenge when one of them Remps lost control and fell onto the road in a spectacular stuntmanship. Not. Teddy thought he made it happen with his mind. He did not know this but it was me. I used Piper’s power and blew up his brakes. Hehhehe.

Anywho, a guy I kinda liked and have been drooling over for some time now messaged me and said that he was on his way to the Malay side so I got poor Teddy to drive us over there. We’ve been flirting a lot at Myspace so we’re finally get the chance to meet. I was sexcited. This time, we managed to avoid the Remps.

The guy is very cute. Unfortunately, he came with his boyfriend, who wasted no time in peeing around the guy, marking his territory. I was a bit pissed (what’s up with all these golden shower reference?) because 1) I was lied to – he said he was single, 2) the marking of the territory, 3) the boyfriend acted like we’ve never met before when in fact he used to be my housemate. To add a bad hair day to broken fingernails, Cute Tasik Guy actually thought Teddy was McDreamy.

Who wouldn’t right? But still. Tact. Look it up. Sigh. What am I? A fag hag to these people? I am not a girl okay? Contrary to popular belief.

This had happened before. A few times I think. A blind date at Times Square, followed me to get Baskin Robbins, saw Teddy, declared Teddy the man of his dreams. See? McDreamy.

Another was a long time ‘friend’. Very brazen, very loud, very without silent button. After Teddy? You can hear a pin drop. Complete polar opposite. Shy, quiet, muted. All because he was smitten by Teddy. McSmitten?

Annoying Melaka Guy could not concentrate on the bowling game. I am pretty sure The Ex also had dirrrty thoughts when they had first met. Even though both had denied feeling any attraction to Teddy but I have a feeling that was only for my benefit.

What’s a gurl to do? Stop bringing dates to meet Teddy? I can’t do that! If I don’t bring them to meet Teddy, how am I gonna know if I like them or not? Hehehe, Will & Grace reference. I want my guy to be able to hang out with me and my friends coz they’re important to me. Guys come and go, but friends are forever. Except when they double cross you or say bad things about you over a slight misunderstanding, then it’s hasta la vista bitchy!

Hmm, I guess I could turn this around and make it a positive thing, even though the sting still lingers. I could use Teddy as a test. If a date passes the test, then he’s a keeper for sure. At the very least, he could keep the drooling to a minimum and pretended to fawn over me still, even though the luscious Teddy is nearby. That would work.