School Hard

OMG. I can't believe this is happening. I mean, I have abandoned the blog for so long. First, some work news. Dunno if it's bad or not. Judge for yourself.

I was told that I have cause a ruckus for the department. I am now being monitored. Even my internet is being monitored. Hence the non-blogging. I now have to submit a progress report every week. Apparently I am not resourceful and sits on my ass this whole time. I have not come up with anything to prove that I had indeed been working. Suddenly, everything about my work is being questioned. I really don't wanna go into the details. I did make the tragic mistake of not concentrating on the job I was asked to do in my boss' absence but I do feel that this is being blown way out of proportion.

There was also a disclaimer that's making me quite agitated about my future. If I don't prove myself worthy of being kept around, by the end of my probation period, I might not be made permanent and would be let go.

My boss is slowly coming around to being warm again to me, so at least it's not that bad now. But I am being tested everyday and there's always so much stuff for me to clear. Last minute stuff. Not enough time to get it actually ready. But I have to take it like a man and do it. I would like to say that I have finished writing all my assignments but the big kahuna held it hostage until a lot of things became irrelevant to be published and then I am being blamed for the non-published status of the internal newsletter.

Sigh. Okay, now, onto the Navy Guy story. I apologize for not being able to update on that. I don't know where to begin writing. It all started two weekends ago as a romantic thing. Last weekend, it turned into a 'just friends' thing. This weekend? I am the older brother and he is the younger brother.

We've been in constant contact. YM, SMS, phone calls. You name it. I've never had this kind of relationship, albeit platonic, before. I don't really like being all touchy feely and constantly needing to keep in touch. But I am doing that with him and he is always on my case if I don't respond immediately. But we're just friends. New territory there. I do admit I have feelings for him but he doesn't see me that way. He wants to be friends and he knows of my feelings for him.

One time I asked for a break because I needed time to fall out of love with him. He freaked out. He did not wanna lose me but he understood why I needed the break. I should have done it. Get over him. At least we'll be on a level playing field after that. However, with all this drama at work, I could not deal with it alone. Although I have good friends who are there for me, it was him who helped me calm down and deal (mostly coz we're constantly in touch).

I know it's kinda superficial but it's like I do have a boyfriend. Without the yummy sex of course. Hell, it is superficial. Settling for someone who doesn't even love me, so that I would have companionship. But then again, it does feel kinda nice. Oh crap. So much drama so little time.