Suddenly I am feeling vulnerable and depressed. Maybe it's coz I am jobless. Maybe it's coz money's running out. Maybe it's coz there's a knife in my back that I just can't seem to reach and take out. It hurts. Bad.
I am not that strong apparently. Can only deal with one trauma at a time. I am human after all, contrary to popular belief.
Hopefully I'll get that job, or the M*cros*ft job that had opened (and a friend is trying to lobby me for it). Once I get busy with a job, I can forget all about life's woes and misery and be content with the illusion that I am living in. I finally see what Prof Karen Walker is saying about the Matrix red pill blue pill thingy.
Why can't I find... oh no, do not go down that path, tired of thinking about that path... remember, you are happy living in whatever excuse of an existence that you are in now. Sigh.