Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Lie To Me

I haven’t exactly talked about this yet. My friends in real life have had earfuls of this. I don’t know why I haven’t managed to blog about this yet. Maybe because it’s too complicated. Maybe because deep down I still don’t quite believe what has happened. Or maybe it’s just a dream and I’ll wake up soon.

It’s not that I am ashamed of this. I am quite happy at the outcome. For the most part. I am still sane, so I do question things some times. I also have to go by that one rule – if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

Navy Guy and I had the talk. Actually, it was more like a debate cum discussion cum talk show/therapy session. But after an intense one week negotiation, we’ve arrived at a decision. We’ve decided to give ‘us’ a try. Yup, you read right. I now have a boyfriend. It’s been two weeks since we signed on the dotted line. It’s not all rosy but it’s peachy.

Since we are far from one another, we’ve decided on an open relationship. Also, since I am not Navy Guy’s physical preference, there won’t be sex between us. Yet. Until he feels comfortable about it. No big. I can wait.

Some of you might feel that it’s weird to not have sex with one’s own boyfriend. My friends all thought it was weird and that I have not much to gain from this and that I am not being myself in order to fit into Navy Guy’s requirement.

I have thought about this a lot. I can have with whoever I want but The One doesn’t come along that often. At least not for me. I have been on the prowl for most of my adult life. I’ve finally found him. Navy Guy and I have amazing chemistry and we’ve found in each other what we’ve been looking for. So what if there’s no physical intimacy between us? The emotional intimacy that we share more than make up for that.

I’ve never been more content in my whole life. Okay, I should stop now before this gets way too saccharine sweet for my own liking. But before I go, I just wanna say this – I’ve never been able to say “I love you” or “I miss you” without feeling like retching. Not with Navy Guy. Feels natural.

3 comments:

Bibik Nyonya said...

you know what evan....screw what other people might say.....just make sure you're happy with your own decision. He's your bf after all....you know what's best! Enjoy your new relationship and congrats man!

adi said...

evan,
i think relationship should go parallel = physical intimacy + emotional intimacy.

biar sakit di mata tapi senang di hati atau sakit di hati tidak sakit di mata...soon

congrats!

Evan Owens said...

Cikgu, thanks for the words of encouragement!

Adi, I think I get what you're saying and I've been pre-warned by my friends. Thanks. :)