Wrecked

I had the most peculiar conversation with #1 Crush today. Okay, the conversation took place Monday and I guess it spilled over to the whole week.

I told him how I have been feeling lately. About the silent treatments. Felt like I am being used. Like when there's absolutely no one around, then he'll find me. Okay, that's not exactly how I felt. Maybe just a bit.

Unfortunately, a concerned friend filled my head with talks about him using people quite a lot.

Nutshell? He was not pleased. But it was not as bad as you'd think. He seemed okay about it during the week. We chatted quite often, like the way we used to.

However, today, he was kinda quiet and when he did buzz me, the chatter was quite weird. Towards the end of the conversation AKA time to leave the office, he said a few choice words that hinted at the possibility that he might have taken offence at the insinuation and that he might wanna end our whatevership.

But maybe I am being paranoid and being overly dramatic. But when you sign off with 'have to go home now, bye, nice knowing u', that so doesn't leave a body feeling good now does it?

Sigh...

Anyways, if that is indeed the situation, then I guess I just have to take it like a man. I've always said that I wanted to slow things down since I am head over heels in love with him but he doesn't feel the same way. But I never wanted total and utter separation.

But if that is indeed what he wants, then who am I to do anything eh? I might be losing one of the best (not to mention one of the hottest) guys I've ever met. Guess there's no such thing as having cake and eating it too.