As You Were

Told you guys I went back to see mi familia during the merdeka weekend right? Took the kids out for a movie and a bit of shopping for Raya clothes. Yes, yes, I haven’t been back in a while and I am making it up with the shopping spree.

I booked the movie in advanced from KL. Wow, the wonders of the Internet eh? I even got to cut cue and went straight to the reservation window. My niece thought I was cheating and I got some nasty looks from the patrons but I was in the right. Apparently people in Kuantan don’t use the Internet to book movie tickets.

Speaking of my niece, she’s all grown up. At 12. I did not know this but she’s had her period already! Daymn. I can see physical changes like her boobs are getting bigger but I did not know about the period thing and that she has arm pit hair! I was helping her into a nice dress that I thought would look good on her for Raya and I asked her to raise her arms. She did not want to coz she told me she has hair there. Shocker.

Yes, yes, I haven’t been back to visit for the longest time. I think I haven’t visited once this year. I missed a lot.

Regarding that cliffnotes version of a post that I made previously… number 4 where it says I am seeing someone… scratch that… back to the drawing board… sometimes I feel like I am not made to be with someone. Apparently everything’s designed in pairs right? Soulmates and what not? I think in the whole grand design of things, I got left out. Maybe I was just a lump of clay that was left over from creating everything else but only enough for one entity so I am all alone…

Of course, a post is never complete without #1 Crush news… no change since the last post. Both of us kept quiet and haven’t contacted each other. My guess? He is busy. I saw him online a couple of times but he never said hi or anything. I tried this thing where I made myself appear offline for a couple of days and then made myself appear online. Did not work. He still did not say hi. Oh well.

He did send me an SMS like earlier in the week though. Of course I was ecstatic. Unfortunately, that was it. There’s not much else left in our relationship. He had told me that it was too expensive to go out with me. It’s not that I am expensive but I hardly get to see him so whenever I do get to see him, I’d want it to be special. Then, Prof Karen Walker said that he thinks it’s the cause of me not seeing him that much. The expensive meals. Coz he was afraid to go out with me more often since I only go to expensive restaurants.

That’s bull. I am not expensive. I cook. I eat at roadside stalls. I only eat out at expensive eateries when I am out with good friends or with a special someone. Sure, I do love to dine out at Chili’s or Tony Roma’s but I hardly ever do, unless I am with someone. Normally on weekends. Since I can go to a mamak restaurant any time I want to, when I go out with him or friends, I’d rather go to some place fancier. Sigh.

Apparently, that kind of thinking is the cause of me not going out with #1 Crush as much and now, he’s put the kibosh on us hanging out. Unless he has the cash to go out. Sigh. Since I don’t know when he’d have the cash to spare, he’s gonna have to ask me out. The chances of that happening? Hmmm, lessee… highly unlikely… it’s either me asking or me hinting and nudging until he asks…

Anywho, I think my posts about #1 Crush will be less and less. It’s definitely not working out. Yes I am in love with him and everyone else pales in comparison to him. Of course that’s biased ole me talking. But it’s the truth.

I don’t know for sure how he feels about me. I think he cares, possibly even loves me but to a different degree that how I feel about him. I’d die for him but I don’t think he’d die for me.

Sigh...